Did you disclose your voice activated recording?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

I can answer this. What you want to do is extortion and it is illegal.

My xH tried to do something similar. Yes, I cheated on him. He tried to use various “evidence” to get me to agree to a settlement that was more favorable for him.

I had a pitbull of an attorney who nipped that right in the bud. Extortion is illegal, and can get YOU into all kinds of trouble. Courts do not care about cheating, so threatening to use it in court makes zero difference in your settlement. If you threaten to use recordings to harm the other woman, now you have two potential lawsuits. Because not only is extortion illegal, interfering in someone’s job is illegal (I went through this with my xH as well, he sent things to my work and got in very big trouble).

In the end, I ended up with more than 50% because he impacted my job and career, and had to pay to make up for that.

LOL absolutely not. Reporting someone for a reportable offence is not illegal. Get over yourself. No wonder a cheating AH would come to defend this loser.

Yes, it is. It's called Tortious interference. It's going to blow up for OP, especially since 1. Recordings were obtained illegally and 2. It's an emotional affair, so it's not like she's got nudes of them. And now with AI, super easy for the H to just say his wife is crazy, created a fake AI recording to try to extort money out of him.

Also, what OP is trying to do - threatening to send recordings to the employer in order to obtain more money - is extortion and it is 100% illegal. OP is shooting herself in the foot; if she follows through and H gets fired, now he's off the hook for alimony, she may end up owing child support to him, and he can sue her. Even if he doesn't win the lawsuit, OP is still going to have to pay an attorney thousands of dollars.

The likely scenario is his workplace won't care. I went through this when my spouse sent information to my employer when I was having an affair with a colleague. AP and I each had a 10 minute meeting with our boss, we explained my spouse was crazy, and that was the end of it. Even if we had disclosed the affair, boss still wouldn't have cared, mostly they just care if the subordinate is going to flip out and sue the company, which wasn't happening in my case.

If OP is smart, she'll play the long game. Let H and the AP develop their relationship and fall for each other, then he'll be happy to give her the house or whatever she wants so he can leave and go be with AP.

Not true. You shouldn't be giving legal advice. You actually shouldn't be giving any advice because you are a scummy person with no moral fiber. You lied to your employer, you lied to your spouse, you are a cheater and a liar.

Actually, anybody can sue anybody for anything. And if he loses his job, OP isn't getting child support or alimony.

I've been cheated on, and while it's devastating, I also know there are boundaries you don't cross. I never even considered interfering with xH's work or relationship with our DC. It never turns out well, it just makes you look crazy and further justifies the cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

I can answer this. What you want to do is extortion and it is illegal.

My xH tried to do something similar. Yes, I cheated on him. He tried to use various “evidence” to get me to agree to a settlement that was more favorable for him.

I had a pitbull of an attorney who nipped that right in the bud. Extortion is illegal, and can get YOU into all kinds of trouble. Courts do not care about cheating, so threatening to use it in court makes zero difference in your settlement. If you threaten to use recordings to harm the other woman, now you have two potential lawsuits. Because not only is extortion illegal, interfering in someone’s job is illegal (I went through this with my xH as well, he sent things to my work and got in very big trouble).

In the end, I ended up with more than 50% because he impacted my job and career, and had to pay to make up for that.

LOL absolutely not. Reporting someone for a reportable offence is not illegal. Get over yourself. No wonder a cheating AH would come to defend this loser.

Yes, it is. It's called Tortious interference. It's going to blow up for OP, especially since 1. Recordings were obtained illegally and 2. It's an emotional affair, so it's not like she's got nudes of them. And now with AI, super easy for the H to just say his wife is crazy, created a fake AI recording to try to extort money out of him.

Also, what OP is trying to do - threatening to send recordings to the employer in order to obtain more money - is extortion and it is 100% illegal. OP is shooting herself in the foot; if she follows through and H gets fired, now he's off the hook for alimony, she may end up owing child support to him, and he can sue her. Even if he doesn't win the lawsuit, OP is still going to have to pay an attorney thousands of dollars.

The likely scenario is his workplace won't care. I went through this when my spouse sent information to my employer when I was having an affair with a colleague. AP and I each had a 10 minute meeting with our boss, we explained my spouse was crazy, and that was the end of it. Even if we had disclosed the affair, boss still wouldn't have cared, mostly they just care if the subordinate is going to flip out and sue the company, which wasn't happening in my case.

If OP is smart, she'll play the long game. Let H and the AP develop their relationship and fall for each other, then he'll be happy to give her the house or whatever she wants so he can leave and go be with AP.

Not true. You shouldn't be giving legal advice. You actually shouldn't be giving any advice because you are a scummy person with no moral fiber. You lied to your employer, you lied to your spouse, you are a cheater and a liar.

Actually, anybody can sue anybody for anything. And if he loses his job, OP isn't getting child support or alimony.

I've been cheated on, and while it's devastating, I also know there are boundaries you don't cross. I never even considered interfering with xH's work or relationship with our DC. It never turns out well, it just makes you look crazy and further justifies the cheating.

Not necessarily true. Just like dads can't "lose their job" to avoid child support, courts take multiple things into decision, including how much he was making, earning potential, etc. Please stop giving incorrect legal advice when you don't seem to know anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

I can answer this. What you want to do is extortion and it is illegal.

My xH tried to do something similar. Yes, I cheated on him. He tried to use various “evidence” to get me to agree to a settlement that was more favorable for him.

I had a pitbull of an attorney who nipped that right in the bud. Extortion is illegal, and can get YOU into all kinds of trouble. Courts do not care about cheating, so threatening to use it in court makes zero difference in your settlement. If you threaten to use recordings to harm the other woman, now you have two potential lawsuits. Because not only is extortion illegal, interfering in someone’s job is illegal (I went through this with my xH as well, he sent things to my work and got in very big trouble).

In the end, I ended up with more than 50% because he impacted my job and career, and had to pay to make up for that.

LOL absolutely not. Reporting someone for a reportable offence is not illegal. Get over yourself. No wonder a cheating AH would come to defend this loser.

Yes, it is. It's called Tortious interference. It's going to blow up for OP, especially since 1. Recordings were obtained illegally and 2. It's an emotional affair, so it's not like she's got nudes of them. And now with AI, super easy for the H to just say his wife is crazy, created a fake AI recording to try to extort money out of him.

Also, what OP is trying to do - threatening to send recordings to the employer in order to obtain more money - is extortion and it is 100% illegal. OP is shooting herself in the foot; if she follows through and H gets fired, now he's off the hook for alimony, she may end up owing child support to him, and he can sue her. Even if he doesn't win the lawsuit, OP is still going to have to pay an attorney thousands of dollars.

The likely scenario is his workplace won't care. I went through this when my spouse sent information to my employer when I was having an affair with a colleague. AP and I each had a 10 minute meeting with our boss, we explained my spouse was crazy, and that was the end of it. Even if we had disclosed the affair, boss still wouldn't have cared, mostly they just care if the subordinate is going to flip out and sue the company, which wasn't happening in my case.

If OP is smart, she'll play the long game. Let H and the AP develop their relationship and fall for each other, then he'll be happy to give her the house or whatever she wants so he can leave and go be with AP.

Not true. You shouldn't be giving legal advice. You actually shouldn't be giving any advice because you are a scummy person with no moral fiber. You lied to your employer, you lied to your spouse, you are a cheater and a liar.

Actually, anybody can sue anybody for anything. And if he loses his job, OP isn't getting child support or alimony.

I've been cheated on, and while it's devastating, I also know there are boundaries you don't cross. I never even considered interfering with xH's work or relationship with our DC. It never turns out well, it just makes you look crazy and further justifies the cheating.

Not necessarily true. Just like dads can't "lose their job" to avoid child support, courts take multiple things into decision, including how much he was making, earning potential, etc. Please stop giving incorrect legal advice when you don't seem to know anything.

You’re responding to several different posters.

Courts will not look kindly on either divorcing spouse trying to interfere with their partner’s employment, particularly when children are involved. What could happen and what’s likely to happen are very different things in this case, but you seem determined to convince yourself otherwise.

[Anonymous]

This is so random. Now you know. So just leave the guy and get on with your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is so random. Now you know. So just leave the guy and get on with your life.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m starting to get on team husband.

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: I am looking to avoid any arguments when I ask him for divorce and the only thing that will help is the fact that I know the details..this is where the recording could come in. But again, I want to protect myself from going to jail..

If that's all you want, just serve him the papers, tell him you know about "Annie" and ask him to move out. No need to entertain the following hysteria if he wants to argue, gaslight or lie. Grey Rock.

You don't need his permission to divorce.

OP here: how do you ask someone to move out of it’s their house too? I know he will say why don’t you and then where does that leave me? I have no family around

You can try asking him to move out, but he doesn't have to leave. Nor do you. So you can both live in the same house until the divorce is final. Either through an agreement your attorneys reach, or a trial with a judge. At that time, the agreement/ruling will say who has to move and how much the person who stays may owe due to equity.

Sometimes your attorney can ask for an interim agreement about finances (who pays what bill), visitation with the kids if one person moves, and temporary use of the house. With young kids, it's probably best to not move yourself out. If you can't reach an interim agreement, you both put up with the other living there.

Yes, it will be very uncomfortable and you will want to keep all legal papers out of the home.

Do not move yourself out until you talk to your attorney. If you really want to keep the house after divorce, and both of you are on the mortgage, you may be required to refinance, which will probably increase your payment.

Lots to think about before making decisions. It's messy and frustrating, but hopefully next year sometime it will be settled one way or another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

I can answer this. What you want to do is extortion and it is illegal.

My xH tried to do something similar. Yes, I cheated on him. He tried to use various “evidence” to get me to agree to a settlement that was more favorable for him.

I had a pitbull of an attorney who nipped that right in the bud. Extortion is illegal, and can get YOU into all kinds of trouble. Courts do not care about cheating, so threatening to use it in court makes zero difference in your settlement. If you threaten to use recordings to harm the other woman, now you have two potential lawsuits. Because not only is extortion illegal, interfering in someone’s job is illegal (I went through this with my xH as well, he sent things to my work and got in very big trouble).

In the end, I ended up with more than 50% because he impacted my job and career, and had to pay to make up for that.

LOL absolutely not. Reporting someone for a reportable offence is not illegal. Get over yourself. No wonder a cheating AH would come to defend this loser.

Cheating is not illegal, but what OP is doing likely is. It also sounds unhinged.

For most people, interfering with their spouse or partner’s employment will only make themselves look volatile. It’s also an argument against receiving any financial support. If you go so far as to have a restraining order brought against you, you’re only blowing up your own life. Isn’t that the definition of a loser?

Cheating actually IS illegal in Virginia. Not that it's enforced, but it's illegal.