Did you disclose your voice activated recording?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:pretty sure its only illegal in a court of law. You arent suing him, youre divorcing him and using it as leverage because hes such a piece of sh*t.

Divorcing someone is suing someone.

Dissolving a contract isn't suing someone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

Leverage about what? Nobody cares if your spouse has an affair. There is nothing to lever here. I’m sorry, but wasting your time trying to hurt him is just that, a waste.

In Virginia it is a crime and can affect asset distribution and alimony. It is also very hard to prove

It really does not. You should Google better.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you just say you overheard him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

Leverage about what? Nobody cares if your spouse has an affair. There is nothing to lever here. I’m sorry, but wasting your time trying to hurt him is just that, a waste.

In Virginia it is a crime and can affect asset distribution and alimony. It is also very hard to prove

It really does not. You should Google better.

"adultery is technically a crime in Virginia, specifically a Class 4 misdemeanor"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

Leverage about what? Nobody cares if your spouse has an affair. There is nothing to lever here. I’m sorry, but wasting your time trying to hurt him is just that, a waste.

In Virginia it is a crime and can affect asset distribution and alimony. It is also very hard to prove

It really does not. You should Google better.

"adultery is technically a crime in Virginia, specifically a Class 4 misdemeanor"

The point is that it doesn't really affect alimony unless the person that would be receiving alimony was the one that cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can confront him with the voice recording, but you cannot use it in court if you recorded it in a state that requires two party consent.

What's he going to do to you if you show it to him in private? Nothing.

OP: I really need to know if this a route someone has taken. I don’t have any legit proof and he will want to portray me as crazy. The AP is a colleague and it is a very sensitive situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can confront him with the voice recording, but you cannot use it in court if you recorded it in a state that requires two party consent.

What's he going to do to you if you show it to him in private? Nothing.

OP: I really need to know if this a route someone has taken. I don’t have any legit proof and he will want to portray me as crazy. The AP is a colleague and it is a very sensitive situation.

What are you trying to accomplish? You don’t need him to acknowledge any of this to divorce him. It won’t matter with respect to any financials. YOU know. Now, you just have to decide what to do. Personally, I would likely play the tape as part of the “I know and you can cut off contact immediately and get into therapy or I will strongly consider filing for divorce”. I think him filing a police report is less likely than me winning the lottery — because then the police would hear the tape.

But the whole premise of my marriage is fidelity and partnership. I can afford to split and keep the house myself. I can care for the kids on my own if I needed to (although I would expect him to be a super involved dad). I don’t need someone who would lie to my face repeatedly. Who cares if he tells people you are crazy? You just need to figure out what matters and stick to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can confront him with the voice recording, but you cannot use it in court if you recorded it in a state that requires two party consent.

What's he going to do to you if you show it to him in private? Nothing.

OP: I really need to know if this a route someone has taken. I don’t have any legit proof and he will want to portray me as crazy. The AP is a colleague and it is a very sensitive situation.

What are you trying to accomplish? You don’t need him to acknowledge any of this to divorce him. It won’t matter with respect to any financials. YOU know. Now, you just have to decide what to do. Personally, I would likely play the tape as part of the “I know and you can cut off contact immediately and get into therapy or I will strongly consider filing for divorce”. I think him filing a police report is less likely than me winning the lottery — because then the police would hear the tape.

But the whole premise of my marriage is fidelity and partnership. I can afford to split and keep the house myself. I can care for the kids on my own if I needed to (although I would expect him to be a super involved dad). I don’t need someone who would lie to my face repeatedly. Who cares if he tells people you are crazy? You just need to figure out what matters and stick to it.

Her earlier post explained that she wants to use the recording to extort a more favorable financial settlement out of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can confront him with the voice recording, but you cannot use it in court if you recorded it in a state that requires two party consent.

What's he going to do to you if you show it to him in private? Nothing.

OP: I really need to know if this a route someone has taken. I don’t have any legit proof and he will want to portray me as crazy. The AP is a colleague and it is a very sensitive situation.

What are you trying to accomplish? You don’t need him to acknowledge any of this to divorce him. It won’t matter with respect to any financials. YOU know. Now, you just have to decide what to do. Personally, I would likely play the tape as part of the “I know and you can cut off contact immediately and get into therapy or I will strongly consider filing for divorce”. I think him filing a police report is less likely than me winning the lottery — because then the police would hear the tape.

But the whole premise of my marriage is fidelity and partnership. I can afford to split and keep the house myself. I can care for the kids on my own if I needed to (although I would expect him to be a super involved dad). I don’t need someone who would lie to my face repeatedly. Who cares if he tells people you are crazy? You just need to figure out what matters and stick to it.

Her earlier post explained that she wants to use the recording to extort a more favorable financial settlement out of him.

That is insane and won’t happen. OP, no. You will get half. You don’t deserve more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can confront him with the voice recording, but you cannot use it in court if you recorded it in a state that requires two party consent.

What's he going to do to you if you show it to him in private? Nothing.

OP: I really need to know if this a route someone has taken. I don’t have any legit proof and he will want to portray me as crazy. The AP is a colleague and it is a very sensitive situation.

What are you trying to accomplish? You don’t need him to acknowledge any of this to divorce him. It won’t matter with respect to any financials. YOU know. Now, you just have to decide what to do. Personally, I would likely play the tape as part of the “I know and you can cut off contact immediately and get into therapy or I will strongly consider filing for divorce”. I think him filing a police report is less likely than me winning the lottery — because then the police would hear the tape.

But the whole premise of my marriage is fidelity and partnership. I can afford to split and keep the house myself. I can care for the kids on my own if I needed to (although I would expect him to be a super involved dad). I don’t need someone who would lie to my face repeatedly. Who cares if he tells people you are crazy? You just need to figure out what matters and stick to it.

Her earlier post explained that she wants to use the recording to extort a more favorable financial settlement out of him.

That is insane and won’t happen. OP, no. You will get half. You don’t deserve more.

No, it won't work. But that's why she keeps posting. She's hoping someone can tell her how to both 1) commit a felony without repercussion, and 2) effectively leverage a minor thing as blackmail.

[Anonymous]

No. I record a lot of convos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can confront him with the voice recording, but you cannot use it in court if you recorded it in a state that requires two party consent.

What's he going to do to you if you show it to him in private? Nothing.

OP: I really need to know if this a route someone has taken. I don’t have any legit proof and he will want to portray me as crazy. The AP is a colleague and it is a very sensitive situation.

I know someone who tried this (let's be clear we're talking about extorting your DH and the AP) with an illegal recording. It was a stalemate. Recorder person tried to use it to force a better settlement. The person who was recorded threatened to press charges and file a civil lawsuit.

It created bad feelings so the spouse was less apt to be generous so I think in the end it was a bad move. Better would have been to use it to confront DH and talk about how hurt you are and use those feelings of guilt or shame or feeling sorry for you to negotiate a better deal.

[Anonymous]

Unethical Life Pro Tip: Before you confront him/divorce him, ask him to get a vasectomy. Your kids will survive the divorce but a second family will completely torch their relationship with their dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

Leverage about what? Nobody cares if your spouse has an affair. There is nothing to lever here. I’m sorry, but wasting your time trying to hurt him is just that, a waste.

In Virginia it is a crime and can affect asset distribution and alimony. It is also very hard to prove

It really does not. You should Google better.

"adultery is technically a crime in Virginia, specifically a Class 4 misdemeanor"

The point is that it doesn't really affect alimony unless the person that would be receiving alimony was the one that cheated.

That … is affecting alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP again: another recording told me this is more than emotional..if I use it for leverage only, can I be charged? Question is for lawyers or who went through it..
Aaah..wish there was another way to find out legally

Leverage about what? Nobody cares if your spouse has an affair. There is nothing to lever here. I’m sorry, but wasting your time trying to hurt him is just that, a waste.

In Virginia it is a crime and can affect asset distribution and alimony. It is also very hard to prove

It really does not. You should Google better.

"adultery is technically a crime in Virginia, specifically a Class 4 misdemeanor"

Code section 18.2-365. Adultery defined; penalty.