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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again: I am looking to avoid any arguments when I ask him for divorce and the only thing that will help is the fact that I know the details..this is where the recording could come in. But again, I want to protect myself from going to jail..[/quote]
If that's all you want, just serve him the papers, tell him you know about "Annie" and ask him to move out. No need to entertain the following hysteria if he wants to argue, gaslight or lie. Grey Rock.

You don't need his permission to divorce. [/quote]

OP here: how do you ask someone to move out of it’s their house too? I know he will say why don’t you and then where does that leave me? I have no family around[/quote]
You can try asking him to move out, but he doesn't have to leave. Nor do you. So you can both live in the same house until the divorce is final. Either through an agreement your attorneys reach, or a trial with a judge. At that time, the agreement/ruling will say who has to move and how much the person who stays may owe due to equity.

Sometimes your attorney can ask for an interim agreement about finances (who pays what bill), visitation with the kids if one person moves, and temporary use of the house. With young kids, it's probably best to not move yourself out. If you can't reach an interim agreement, you both put up with the other living there.

Yes, it will be very uncomfortable and you will want to keep all legal papers out of the home.

Do not move yourself out until you talk to your attorney. If you really want to keep the house after divorce, and both of you are on the mortgage, you may be required to refinance, which will probably increase your payment.

Lots to think about before making decisions. It's messy and frustrating, but hopefully next year sometime it will be settled one way or another.[/quote]

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