Is dating just a means to an end for 50+ men?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Married man over 50 here:

While I’m not dating and not in the market, I’ve talked about what I would do if (god forbid) something happened to DW.

First of all, there’s no second marriage. Period. I want to hang out and have fun, which includes sex. If you don’t want those things or you do want to get married, I’m not for you.

Also, a PP is right. Where women had the advantage in their late teens and 20’s, that dynamic slowly shifts in the opposite direction over time and age. While the other PP who says older women are juggling 5 men on the apps may be right about some, I know that’s not universally true.

The endgame isn’t necessarily sex on the first date, but men in their 50’s have greater agency in their choices.

I’m a 48 y.o. woman, have been on a dating app for about 10 days. After removing the age requirements, I received a lot of likes from the young guys, as young as 19! Today I’m going out with a very athletic and enthusiastic 29 y.o. man, an engineer. Who cares about men in their 50s if they can date someone young.

Enjoy being pumped and dumped.

It appears though that financially sound divorced men over 50 are also just looking for sex. So it’s better to be pumped and dumped by younger men - no point for a woman to date older

It is vastly more likely that an over 50 man is looking for a LTR with an over 50 woman than that a 19-29 year old man is looking for an LTR with an over 50 woman.

Obviously, I date men my age or slightly older for LTR/marriage. But if a senior citizen male tells me he’ll never remarry, I’m out in a a few seconds !

I was just responding to the dude above who said he only looked for casual. He needs to get used to pay for younger sugar babies for that, of dare not so attractive/fat 50+ women. Good looking women have a string of younger lovers

Would you even want a relationship with a senior citizen male? You could still enjoy their company without legal and family entanglements if you liked them. The risk of them getting sick and needing caretaking, or having complicated families or finances, is probably too great for marriage to make sense.

Older women are more likely to go bankrupt than older men. Getting married to "a senior citizen male" is more likely to get you out of financial trouble than get you into it.

My mom had two friends who married later in life to men 20 years older. Both got quickly wiped out financially when their husbands developed debilitating illnesses that required home nursing care or a LTC facility. They went from middle class singles to barely scraping by.

OK and I personally know two older divorced women who were wiped out financially by their own debilitating illnesses that required going into an LTC facility. Literal medical bankruptcy. There are more women than men in LTC because... the men die.

It makes no sense for women to marry much older unless he’s wealthy and can “make up” financially for her devoting the last active years to care for him.

Ideally women in their 50s should marry 5–10 years economically equal younger men so they can age together

At 50 I don't want to sleep with a 60 years old woman. When is 80, i am 70 yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man over 50 here:

While I’m not dating and not in the market, I’ve talked about what I would do if (god forbid) something happened to DW.

First of all, there’s no second marriage. Period. I want to hang out and have fun, which includes sex. If you don’t want those things or you do want to get married, I’m not for you.

Also, a PP is right. Where women had the advantage in their late teens and 20’s, that dynamic slowly shifts in the opposite direction over time and age. While the other PP who says older women are juggling 5 men on the apps may be right about some, I know that’s not universally true.

The endgame isn’t necessarily sex on the first date, but men in their 50’s have greater agency in their choices.

I’m a 48 y.o. woman, have been on a dating app for about 10 days. After removing the age requirements, I received a lot of likes from the young guys, as young as 19! Today I’m going out with a very athletic and enthusiastic 29 y.o. man, an engineer. Who cares about men in their 50s if they can date someone young.

If that’s what you’re looking for, go for it.

She’s saying if a woman is okay with casual relationships, she can day waaaay younger than 55 yo men. I am 47, and have a 29 yo suitor who is spoiling me with restaurants and dates anytime his long term 25 yo GF is out of town. We are seeing each other for almost 3 years for romantic dates and sex. I don’t need to look for 50s dudes on the app for sex.

I am on the apps though but date menu age for marriage and ltr only

I have always said the cruelty of women is incredible. Here we have a low life 47 years old woman knowingly sleeping with a 25 years old man who has a long time GF. All she thinks is about herself. And I am sure she will blame the younger man who is younger than her by 22 years for pursuing her. You are a predator!

He’s 29 read better - and he was perusing me for months !

Do you care about his long time GF? When she is on a trip and you swoop in and spread your legs to be ran through, I hope you are okay that you are actually a sl**t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man over 50 here:

While I’m not dating and not in the market, I’ve talked about what I would do if (god forbid) something happened to DW.

First of all, there’s no second marriage. Period. I want to hang out and have fun, which includes sex. If you don’t want those things or you do want to get married, I’m not for you.

Also, a PP is right. Where women had the advantage in their late teens and 20’s, that dynamic slowly shifts in the opposite direction over time and age. While the other PP who says older women are juggling 5 men on the apps may be right about some, I know that’s not universally true.

The endgame isn’t necessarily sex on the first date, but men in their 50’s have greater agency in their choices.

I’m a 48 y.o. woman, have been on a dating app for about 10 days. After removing the age requirements, I received a lot of likes from the young guys, as young as 19! Today I’m going out with a very athletic and enthusiastic 29 y.o. man, an engineer. Who cares about men in their 50s if they can date someone young.

Enjoy being pumped and dumped.

It appears though that financially sound divorced men over 50 are also just looking for sex. So it’s better to be pumped and dumped by younger men - no point for a woman to date older

It is vastly more likely that an over 50 man is looking for a LTR with an over 50 woman than that a 19-29 year old man is looking for an LTR with an over 50 woman.

Obviously, I date men my age or slightly older for LTR/marriage. But if a senior citizen male tells me he’ll never remarry, I’m out in a a few seconds !

I was just responding to the dude above who said he only looked for casual. He needs to get used to pay for younger sugar babies for that, of dare not so attractive/fat 50+ women. Good looking women have a string of younger lovers

Would you even want a relationship with a senior citizen male? You could still enjoy their company without legal and family entanglements if you liked them. The risk of them getting sick and needing caretaking, or having complicated families or finances, is probably too great for marriage to make sense.

Older women are more likely to go bankrupt than older men. Getting married to "a senior citizen male" is more likely to get you out of financial trouble than get you into it.

It's not 20 years ago. We have our own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man over 50 here:

While I’m not dating and not in the market, I’ve talked about what I would do if (god forbid) something happened to DW.

First of all, there’s no second marriage. Period. I want to hang out and have fun, which includes sex. If you don’t want those things or you do want to get married, I’m not for you.

Also, a PP is right. Where women had the advantage in their late teens and 20’s, that dynamic slowly shifts in the opposite direction over time and age. While the other PP who says older women are juggling 5 men on the apps may be right about some, I know that’s not universally true.

The endgame isn’t necessarily sex on the first date, but men in their 50’s have greater agency in their choices.

I’m a 48 y.o. woman, have been on a dating app for about 10 days. After removing the age requirements, I received a lot of likes from the young guys, as young as 19! Today I’m going out with a very athletic and enthusiastic 29 y.o. man, an engineer. Who cares about men in their 50s if they can date someone young.

Enjoy being pumped and dumped.

Not that PP but what is your problem? That is all men are good for unless a woman needs money. Many divorced women don't need money. There is no reason to want a commitment over age 40 if you have your own money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Married man over 50 here:

While I’m not dating and not in the market, I’ve talked about what I would do if (god forbid) something happened to DW.

First of all, there’s no second marriage. Period. I want to hang out and have fun, which includes sex. If you don’t want those things or you do want to get married, I’m not for you.

Also, a PP is right. Where women had the advantage in their late teens and 20’s, that dynamic slowly shifts in the opposite direction over time and age. While the other PP who says older women are juggling 5 men on the apps may be right about some, I know that’s not universally true.

The endgame isn’t necessarily sex on the first date, but men in their 50’s have greater agency in their choices.

I’m a 48 y.o. woman, have been on a dating app for about 10 days. After removing the age requirements, I received a lot of likes from the young guys, as young as 19! Today I’m going out with a very athletic and enthusiastic 29 y.o. man, an engineer. Who cares about men in their 50s if they can date someone young.

If that’s what you’re looking for, go for it.

She’s saying if a woman is okay with casual relationships, she can day waaaay younger than 55 yo men. I am 47, and have a 29 yo suitor who is spoiling me with restaurants and dates anytime his long term 25 yo GF is out of town. We are seeing each other for almost 3 years for romantic dates and sex. I don’t need to look for 50s dudes on the app for sex.

I am on the apps though but date menu age for marriage and ltr only

I’m the PP you’re responding to. If that’s what you want and you’re happy, so be it. But it doesn’t change what I said.

What’s from my post contradicts yours? If I was looking for casual I would only date younger men. Younger bodies no performance issues > than an “executive” 55 yo man with 3 kids who also doesn’t have money for dates and only looks for casual sex on first date.

This summarizes the general dating landscape for an attractive 40-50-something woman perfectly.

Except most attractive women 40-50 years old are either annoying strivers, have kids, or are a financial disaster.

Well, I will comment about myself:

1. I am not an annoying striver
2. I have kids but what does that matter? No man will ever meet them. Totally irrelevant.
3. I am financially secure (a man having or not having money means nothing...complete non-factor)

[Anonymous]

What does it mean to be an annoying striver in your 40-50s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to be an annoying striver in your 40-50s?

Probably “annoying striver” is his word for all the women who rejected him because he's poor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

They just have a different perspective on life. Older men are often jaded, most have been through a divorce or two, and are just bitter at the world. Younger guys are still full of life, they have interests beyond their 401k.

One younger man I dated was a personal trainer and we'd workout together. It was FUN. We'd go to the track and race each other, or he'd teach me MMA. Most older men can't do that.

They also appreciate what I can provide for them. I take them to restaurants or on trips they couldn't afford themselves.

Often it feels like you're a teenager again. They want to go do fun things together, like hookup in the car in a mall parking lot, go to an arcade and compete against each other, even talk on the phone late at night.

[Anonymous]

I am an older woman who would not even consider such “terms.”

She should do what whatever makes her comfortable.

I have no idea why you are crowd surfing this.

(Her use of a dating coach suggests she is not confident about herself, which is unfortunate for someone that age.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does it mean to be an annoying striver in your 40-50s?

Probably “annoying striver” is his word for all the women who rejected him because he's poor?

100% — or because he’s a loser, whether or not he has money.

Annoying striver, that’s me! I go to work every day, meet all my parental and social obligations and even go the extra mile whenever I can!

Oh and I’m really good in bed, and yes I have been told… Plus, I’m 48 but don’t look a day over 46! 😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Saying men prefer first date sex sounds like a truism. Are you really saying your “friend” who is supposedly so amazing doesn’t get a second date because she’s not having sex on the first date?

Not my friend, my cousin.

And not all men. Just those over 50.

This is what she says she was told by a few men that she felt chemistry with and her dating coach.

What a load of BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

They just have a different perspective on life. Older men are often jaded, most have been through a divorce or two, and are just bitter at the world. Younger guys are still full of life, they have interests beyond their 401k.

One younger man I dated was a personal trainer and we'd workout together. It was FUN. We'd go to the track and race each other, or he'd teach me MMA. Most older men can't do that.

They also appreciate what I can provide for them. I take them to restaurants or on trips they couldn't afford themselves.

Often it feels like you're a teenager again. They want to go do fun things together, like hookup in the car in a mall parking lot, go to an arcade and compete against each other, even talk on the phone late at night.

Sounds like a female version of a passport bro/sex tourists LMAO

[Anonymous]

It probably has more to do with compatibility with her dates. At 50+ it’s assumed that no one is a prude anymore. So, if they hit it off there’s a much higher chance of sex earlier than there was back when OP was younger and dating in the 90s. That doesn’t mean that your friend can just sleep with more guys to speed up the relationship process. If the connection is there the sex probably happens since it’s fun and 50yr olds are mature enough to handle it but adding sex doesn’t create a connection that’s not there. Though it might lead to follow ups for more sex if both want that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a 40sF who dates men from 25-55.

She needs to fire her dating coach. Do some men want sex on the first date? Yes. Are there men who don’t? Also yes. At no point should she ever sleep with a man just to try to keep him.

She needs to get clear on what she wants and what she will and won’t do. For example, I’m very clear and upfront that I am dating for marriage. Sometimes I do sleep with men on a first date if I’m very attracted to them, knowing full well it’s just going to be a good time for us both with zero expectations of a second date. Sometimes I’ll go on 10 dates with a man I’m not attracted to but he has marriage potential, and I won’t sleep with him because the chemistry just doesn’t grow. And everything in between (such as currently sleeping with a man where the sex is ok, good not great, but he loves to spoil me with gifts and trips so it’s fine for now).

She needs to get comfortable with doing whatever SHE wants, not trying to bend to what men want.

As a 45 years old woman tell me about your dating experience dating a man who is 25 ie 20 years younger. Besides sex which we all is obviously amazing, what else is exciting about dating a 25 years old man?

Pure speculation, but you'd get high energy, openness, less cynicism more optimism, more fun-loving and not yet weighed down by life.

My date with a 29 y.o. is in about 30 minutes. He said I will be the first woman he will ever meet in person through the app and is so excited, sent me so many messages and compliments over the last few days, even asked what outfit I’m going to wear so that he could match. On the other hand, I matched with some 56 y.o. who said that “his experience over the years on the dating apps has been…” - and I just unmatched him without responding. If someone has spent years on the app without any commitment, I don’t need him either.