DP and what?! No it's not. It's an invitation to two events for the grandkid's birthday and being clear about your boundaries. |
Man, even my kids in elementary school understand that you don't always celebrate a birthday ON the day because of school, work, holidays, etc. Also, scheduling celebrations on other days = more days of birthday! I would have no patience for grandparents being this precious about a specific date. |
This. Their hurt feelings are their own to deal with. Just talk matter of factly about when you are able to host them. But don’t be upset about them being upset. Just move on. |
Right. In other words, OP does want to do something for the kid's birthday -- and wants to exclude the ILs from it. How nice of her. |
They're not asking for a specific date -- OP says on the date or a few days in either direction. But no matter which date, OP doesn't want them there. |
Yeah, because for once, her parents are able to be there. Her parents who live overseas. It’s OK for “a few hours away” ILs to not be at every little thing, every little time. |
So they can plan something a week or two later. Again, I don't get it, my kids would be like "yay another birthday!" |
Bdays are not little. Also still unclear why both sets of gparents can't be in the same place at the same time for a few hours. |
Actually, yes. Birthdays are little. Literally everyone has one, every year. Get over it. All the kids want from grandparents is a present, not their presence On The Day Of OMG. Get over it. |
Welp, I’m the one who first suggested that OP invite ILs for a dinner out, stay in a hotel and also have breakfast the next morning at the family’s home, but she asked if I was a “troll,” so whine to her, not me. But yes, birthdays are little. They’re not a big deal. Some people go overblown about birthdays but that doesn’t make them a big deal. It just makes ZOMG BIRTHDAY people annoying. |
This is the answer. It is okay that his parents miss something and her parents get to be there. His parents sound insufferable and the husband should be dealing with them. |
A bday is not little to the kids. Also protecting the time with her parents is making it about them/her. |
+1
It's clear the IL parents are high-maintenance. It's clear the local IL parents expect to be treated as overseas parents. It's clear the IL parents are overbearing. It's clear the teen does not want them around, but is willing to tolerate them. It's clear OP has said they need to be catered to. It's all very clear. |
Why can’t you just invite them out to dinner either on the kids birthday or sometime close to it? If that doesn’t work then tell them they can come take the kid out for her birthday but you can’t host because your parents are in town. I don’t understand the sentiment of they’re getting older so family suddenly falls to the wayside, that’s not a value I wish to instill in my children so we don’t even entertain not seeing grandparents or other close family as an option. |
+1 These grandparents are making this about them. They want their insta moment. |