Which of these women is 'doing better'?

[Anonymous]

Whichever one is not miserable is doing better. It's possible that both or neither is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

A lot of men genuinely ENJOY working for the man. I don’t get it, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

A. I know in my heart I could never respect an able-bodied husband I have to care for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

A lot of men genuinely ENJOY working for the man. I don’t get it, but it is what it is.

euw. on so many levels you seem offputting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

500k is a great life. Hope you can feel what it’s like one day!

pp didn't say what their dh earns just that she doesnt want to work and feels bad for him that he has to.
In our marriage, one person makes $650 but the other spouse still works and makes nearly $200. That $200 is meaningful amount that allows us to shorten the time we both have to work, set our kids up for greater success and - importantly - not have a dynamic where one person is slaving away while the other person pootles around in the garden waiting to die.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

A lot of men genuinely ENJOY working for the man. I don’t get it, but it is what it is.

In fact a lot of us became SAHMs only after it became clear DH was not going to take a “daddy track” job.

[Anonymous]

Probably a SAHM, because I value being around my kids. But neither option sounds that great tbh

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

A lot of men genuinely ENJOY working for the man. I don’t get it, but it is what it is.

euw. on so many levels you seem offputting.

You got multiple levels of off putting from a single post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

500k is a great life. Hope you can feel what it’s like one day!

pp didn't say what their dh earns just that she doesnt want to work and feels bad for him that he has to.
In our marriage, one person makes $650 but the other spouse still works and makes nearly $200. That $200 is meaningful amount that allows us to shorten the time we both have to work, set our kids up for greater success and - importantly - not have a dynamic where one person is slaving away while the other person pootles around in the garden waiting to die.

You and spouse either both like to work are both just money hungry. Nobody needs a second income with a primary income of 650K, stop being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A. I know in my heart I could never respect an able-bodied husband I have to care for.

Yeah. I have no desire to be a SAHM with no income but the idea of supporting a GROWN MAN is just too much of an ick for me to pick option B. So i would take the SAHM gig and hopefully open a business or side hustle or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

500k is a great life. Hope you can feel what it’s like one day!

pp didn't say what their dh earns just that she doesnt want to work and feels bad for him that he has to.
In our marriage, one person makes $650 but the other spouse still works and makes nearly $200. That $200 is meaningful amount that allows us to shorten the time we both have to work, set our kids up for greater success and - importantly - not have a dynamic where one person is slaving away while the other person pootles around in the garden waiting to die.

You obviously have contempt for people who don’t work. Own it.

Otherwise, establishing a dynamic in which a family only *needs* one person to “slave away” but insists that EVERYONE “slave away” is a real crabs in a bucket mentality.

My spouse and I take turns working, but you do you.

[Anonymous]

These are two data points in a sea of things that matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been a SAHM for 15 years. I am very happy. I don't regret not working in an office, totally stressed out, gaining weight and losing my mind and patience. Peace is priceless. You can spend the bulk of your days working for the man, I'll build my family and have a few successful, deep relationships with people.

You’re not wrong, and I think being stay at home mom is an incredibly important role, but do you share the bolded sentiment with your husband? (Presuming your financial security comes from his earned income and not from something like a trust.)

Like, do you make it clear to him that you think working for “the man” makes someone a bit of a chump?

I’ve always wondered about this.

No pp is just quietly grateful that their dh is willing to have a worse life so she can have coffee with Kim at 11am on a weds and talk about menopause

500k is a great life. Hope you can feel what it’s like one day!

pp didn't say what their dh earns just that she doesnt want to work and feels bad for him that he has to.
In our marriage, one person makes $650 but the other spouse still works and makes nearly $200. That $200 is meaningful amount that allows us to shorten the time we both have to work, set our kids up for greater success and - importantly - not have a dynamic where one person is slaving away while the other person pootles around in the garden waiting to die.

You obviously have contempt for people who don’t work. Own it.

Otherwise, establishing a dynamic in which a family only *needs* one person to “slave away” but insists that EVERYONE “slave away” is a real crabs in a bucket mentality.

My spouse and I take turns working, but you do you.

I agree. Imagine being so boring a person that you would spend your time “waiting to die” if you weren’t a useful cog in the capitalist machine.

[Anonymous]

Neither. I'd rather both parents work and both parents parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A. I know in my heart I could never respect an able-bodied husband I have to care for.

Where does it say you have to care for him? If he’s SAH, then he’s caring for you and your children. You are simply making money.
Also, I sure hope your spouse doesn’t ever get sick or disabled. Life can come at you fast, champ.