Anyone's parent ask them to move out of the house after college? How did they say it?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

When I was 18, my father told me to move out and figure it out on my own.

My mother went behind him and said “He doesn’t mean that!”

Then when I did move out, all she did was try to convince me to move back. Otherwise she wouldn’t talk to me.

I would say just get on the same page with your spouse before you say a word to your children aged 18 and older.

I am giving mine more of a runway and some financial support contingent in their bringing in an income while in college, staying sober, doing well in college, making it to all classes, and no criminal convictions or mental hospital stays. So far so good and we are a year into young adulthood with the oldest, so we’ll see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MY DD will be moving out this month
she's works as teacher and its hard to find a place she can afford.

She can apply for subsidized housing anywhere in the DMV. It takes a few months to get it but it is possible.

[Anonymous]

After living away for 3 years my DD moved home to save money. I had this arrangement with my DS too (not at the same time), who saved, went to law school and bought a place.
However, my DD used her savings to purchase an extensive wardrobe and participate with her friends on trips. Last year I gave her a year to move out, and so she did. She thinks I am selfish to want to live alone, but to me it's a more adult version of tough love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I have a home, I would never in a million years charge my children for rent! If an adult child lives home they should contribute with household expenses but that is about it. I am sure that even today, in case of an emergency my parents would welcome me and my family to their home. For me, that is part of being a family! Of course that is different than having an adult child doing nothing for work and not trying. Or if the parents are paying rent themselves. But the expectation of them leaving home as soon as they are able to, and treating your children as visitors in your own home is alien for me. My home is their home.

+1. My kids know that our home is always their home. If they move home, we expect them to be gainfully employed and contribute to the running of the household (taking turns cooking, cleaning, etc), but we wouldn't charge them rent to live in their old room. No way, no how.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 18, my father told me to move out and figure it out on my own.

My mother went behind him and said “He doesn’t mean that!”

Then when I did move out, all she did was try to convince me to move back. Otherwise she wouldn’t talk to me.

I would say just get on the same page with your spouse before you say a word to your children aged 18 and older.

I am giving mine more of a runway and some financial support contingent in their bringing in an income while in college, staying sober, doing well in college, making it to all classes, and no criminal convictions or mental hospital stays. So far so good and we are a year into young adulthood with the oldest, so we’ll see.

What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD will be moving out this month
she's works as teacher and its hard to find a place she can afford.

She can apply for subsidized housing anywhere in the DMV. It takes a few months to get it but it is possible.

She can live with housemates.

[Anonymous]

A friend mine who moved in with her parents after college in the nineties. She was loving it but when her mom gave her a book for Christmas called “how to decorate an apartment” she figured that was a sign and moved out!

[Anonymous]

My parents gave my bedroom to my sister the day before high school graduation. I was told to put all my things in my car and I could sleep on the couch until the morning after I graduated. Then I needed to leave.

During college I could come home for short school breaks, but needed to live somewhere else for summer breaks. I certainly wasn't welcome to live at home after college.

Heck, they didn't even let me use their mailing address for my car insurance starting sophomore year. I had to find an insurance company that would let me use a dorm address.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was 18, my father told me to move out and figure it out on my own.

My mother went behind him and said “He doesn’t mean that!”

Then when I did move out, all she did was try to convince me to move back. Otherwise she wouldn’t talk to me.

I would say just get on the same page with your spouse before you say a word to your children aged 18 and older.

I am giving mine more of a runway and some financial support contingent in their bringing in an income while in college, staying sober, doing well in college, making it to all classes, and no criminal convictions or mental hospital stays. So far so good and we are a year into young adulthood with the oldest, so we’ll see.

What a sad post. You're saying you'd cut off your kids if they experience a mental health crisis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents gave my bedroom to my sister the day before high school graduation. I was told to put all my things in my car and I could sleep on the couch until the morning after I graduated. Then I needed to leave.

During college I could come home for short school breaks, but needed to live somewhere else for summer breaks. I certainly wasn't welcome to live at home after college.

Heck, they didn't even let me use their mailing address for my car insurance starting sophomore year. I had to find an insurance company that would let me use a dorm address.

That isn't healthy. Do you have a relationship with them anymore?