Spouse Lets DD Ghost My Mother

[Anonymous]

Did grandma take the kids out for ice cream when they were little? Play dolls? Take them to the playground? Play candyland? Treat them to a new outfit occasionally?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Correct. It's not stopping you though from conjecturing that she was awful. Why is that? Are you projecting? Trying to justify your own horrible behavior towards your in-laws and parents?

If wife has a problem with grandma, she can be a big girl about it and bring up the concerns. I hate passive aggressive antics.

How do you know she hasn't? OP is very scant on details. Your default is that there is NO REASON for wife to behave this way. My default is the opposite. Until we have more details, we simply don't know.

I'm assuming she hasn't because according to OP she is simply missing the calls and DS has no problem talking to grandma. So we do have some information that doesn't support that grandma was horrible. Your default is to vilify people with zero information about their wrongdoing? NICE!

We also have the information that DD DOESN'T WANT TO. Which you are conveniently ignoring.

I'm sure DD doesn't want to do a LOT of stuff which both parents have no issue making her do. Taking showers, going to school, eating right, exercising, going to bed on time. But THIS, this is where you draw the line. Grow up.

Are you really so intellectually stunted that you don't see the common denominator in all the things you listed? All of those "parents will make you do these things" tasks are about DDs health and well-being. You know what else is about DD's health and well-being? Boundaries.

Sounds like you need to take your own advice and grow some brain matter, dearie.

Are you really so stunted that you don't understand that raising a respectful, caring child who respects her grandma is super beneficial to DDs wellbeing? If boundaries need to be drawn due to some kind of abuse, by all means do that. But there is zero evidence of that.

I suggest that OP take charge of this and make his DD talk to grandma since his wife is being a brat as are you.

"You can only say no if you can prove abuse" "If you don't always comply with someone else's wishes, you're not respectful or caring." "You can only draw the boundaries that meet everyone else's needs/wants first."

Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation.

Uhm, you make no sense whatsoever. Please show me on this keyboard where granma hurt you, you lunatic.

I had great relationships with all my grandparents, and was lucky enough to know my great gran who lived to be 102. All have now passed. I'd be delighted to be able to call any of them again, and I still wouldn't force my kids to.

I said what I said: Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation. "Do it or I'll punish you" isn't a relationship, it's brute force.

I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand basic consent as it applies to relationships. Please don't have any; you're a liability.

I'm sorry you're so damaged that you compare a 5 min call with a grandparent to rape. I said, what I said. You're a lunatic who should not be raising children.

I'm sorry you're so triggered by the word "consent" that you make these wackadoodle connections I never made...

But your willingness to lash out at me personally reveals that you're an unstable person who can't have a simple discussion without making personal attacks at strangers, so thank you for that information. I'll put your commentary in the bin where it belongs.

I have rational discussions with rational people. You're not rational so that's not possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent.

You realize you sound completely insane when you compare a five min phone call with grandma to rape, right? RIGHT????? FFS

Consent transfers to far more than just rape. Stop trying to villify consent in children. Try are humans and people too, not just your okay thing to do with as you wish.

Play thing**

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent.

You realize you sound completely insane when you compare a five min phone call with grandma to rape, right? RIGHT????? FFS

Consent transfers to far more than just rape. Stop trying to villify consent in children. Try are humans and people too, not just your okay thing to do with as you wish.

Exactly. Some of these people seem to have abusive levels of control issues. It's sad, and more than a little scary to think of how it impacts their kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Correct. It's not stopping you though from conjecturing that she was awful. Why is that? Are you projecting? Trying to justify your own horrible behavior towards your in-laws and parents?

If wife has a problem with grandma, she can be a big girl about it and bring up the concerns. I hate passive aggressive antics.

How do you know she hasn't? OP is very scant on details. Your default is that there is NO REASON for wife to behave this way. My default is the opposite. Until we have more details, we simply don't know.

I'm assuming she hasn't because according to OP she is simply missing the calls and DS has no problem talking to grandma. So we do have some information that doesn't support that grandma was horrible. Your default is to vilify people with zero information about their wrongdoing? NICE!

We also have the information that DD DOESN'T WANT TO. Which you are conveniently ignoring.

This. Maybe bored grandma can send a card, or try to engage the kid some other way, instead of being a demanding old hag.

Wow, just wow. No wonder we have Trump in office. We've lost all sense of decency.

We've "lost all sense of decency" because every single member of the family doesn't call granny every week?

You're unhinged.

No, please do learn to read. We've lost decency because we default to calling caring grandparents "demanding old hags" for wanting to maintain a relationship with their grandchildren.

+ million.

I’m also convinced that many of the people posting have severe social gaps. You are also teaching your child how to keep a 5 minute polite conversation going, which she will absolutely need in life.

Ah, yes, more hot air and bullshit. JUST what we need. Not everyone is entitled to a conversation. Not all conversations are worth having.

I’m convinced people like this don’t leave their homes and don’t have good professional or social relationship. No way on earth you can succeed in a workplace with this attitude.

Me too. A bunch of completely asocial lunatics running around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Correct. It's not stopping you though from conjecturing that she was awful. Why is that? Are you projecting? Trying to justify your own horrible behavior towards your in-laws and parents?

If wife has a problem with grandma, she can be a big girl about it and bring up the concerns. I hate passive aggressive antics.

How do you know she hasn't? OP is very scant on details. Your default is that there is NO REASON for wife to behave this way. My default is the opposite. Until we have more details, we simply don't know.

I'm assuming she hasn't because according to OP she is simply missing the calls and DS has no problem talking to grandma. So we do have some information that doesn't support that grandma was horrible. Your default is to vilify people with zero information about their wrongdoing? NICE!

We also have the information that DD DOESN'T WANT TO. Which you are conveniently ignoring.

I'm sure DD doesn't want to do a LOT of stuff which both parents have no issue making her do. Taking showers, going to school, eating right, exercising, going to bed on time. But THIS, this is where you draw the line. Grow up.

Are you really so intellectually stunted that you don't see the common denominator in all the things you listed? All of those "parents will make you do these things" tasks are about DDs health and well-being. You know what else is about DD's health and well-being? Boundaries.

Sounds like you need to take your own advice and grow some brain matter, dearie.

Are you really so stunted that you don't understand that raising a respectful, caring child who respects her grandma is super beneficial to DDs wellbeing? If boundaries need to be drawn due to some kind of abuse, by all means do that. But there is zero evidence of that.

I suggest that OP take charge of this and make his DD talk to grandma since his wife is being a brat as are you.

"You can only say no if you can prove abuse" "If you don't always comply with someone else's wishes, you're not respectful or caring." "You can only draw the boundaries that meet everyone else's needs/wants first."

Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation.

Uhm, you make no sense whatsoever. Please show me on this keyboard where granma hurt you, you lunatic.

I had great relationships with all my grandparents, and was lucky enough to know my great gran who lived to be 102. All have now passed. I'd be delighted to be able to call any of them again, and I still wouldn't force my kids to.

I said what I said: Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation. "Do it or I'll punish you" isn't a relationship, it's brute force.

I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand basic consent as it applies to relationships. Please don't have any; you're a liability.

I'm sorry you're so damaged that you compare a 5 min call with a grandparent to rape. I said, what I said.

I'm sorry you're so triggered by the word "consent" that you make these wackadoodle connections I never made...

But your willingness to lash out at me personally reveals that you're an unstable person who can't have a simple discussion without making personal attacks at strangers, so thank you for that information. I'll put your commentary in the bin where it belongs.

I have rational discussions with rational people. You're not rational so that's not possible.

"Please show me on this keyboard where granma hurt you, you lunatic."

"You're a lunatic who should not be raising children."

-you, having what you call a "rational conversation"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Correct. It's not stopping you though from conjecturing that she was awful. Why is that? Are you projecting? Trying to justify your own horrible behavior towards your in-laws and parents?

If wife has a problem with grandma, she can be a big girl about it and bring up the concerns. I hate passive aggressive antics.

How do you know she hasn't? OP is very scant on details. Your default is that there is NO REASON for wife to behave this way. My default is the opposite. Until we have more details, we simply don't know.

I'm assuming she hasn't because according to OP she is simply missing the calls and DS has no problem talking to grandma. So we do have some information that doesn't support that grandma was horrible. Your default is to vilify people with zero information about their wrongdoing? NICE!

We also have the information that DD DOESN'T WANT TO. Which you are conveniently ignoring.

This. Maybe bored grandma can send a card, or try to engage the kid some other way, instead of being a demanding old hag.

Wow, just wow. No wonder we have Trump in office. We've lost all sense of decency.

We've "lost all sense of decency" because every single member of the family doesn't call granny every week?

You're unhinged.

No, please do learn to read. We've lost decency because we default to calling caring grandparents "demanding old hags" for wanting to maintain a relationship with their grandchildren.

+ million.

I’m also convinced that many of the people posting have severe social gaps. You are also teaching your child how to keep a 5 minute polite conversation going, which she will absolutely need in life.

Ah, yes, more hot air and bullshit. JUST what we need. Not everyone is entitled to a conversation. Not all conversations are worth having.

I’m convinced people like this don’t leave their homes and don’t have good professional or social relationship. No way on earth you can succeed in a workplace with this attitude.

Me too. A bunch of completely asocial lunatics running around.

Wait, we're running around now? I thought we never left our homes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent.

You realize you sound completely insane when you compare a five min phone call with grandma to rape, right? RIGHT????? FFS

Consent transfers to far more than just rape. Stop trying to villify consent in children. Try are humans and people too, not just your okay thing to do with as you wish.

I saw a thing the other day where babies are supposed to consent to diaper changes. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, that is how far down this consent rabbit hole some of you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent.

You realize you sound completely insane when you compare a five min phone call with grandma to rape, right? RIGHT????? FFS

Consent transfers to far more than just rape. Stop trying to villify consent in children. Try are humans and people too, not just your okay thing to do with as you wish.

Exactly. Some of these people seem to have abusive levels of control issues. It's sad, and more than a little scary to think of how it impacts their kids!

Yeah, talking to grandma for 5 minutes is totally the same as rape Are you hearing yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Correct. It's not stopping you though from conjecturing that she was awful. Why is that? Are you projecting? Trying to justify your own horrible behavior towards your in-laws and parents?

If wife has a problem with grandma, she can be a big girl about it and bring up the concerns. I hate passive aggressive antics.

How do you know she hasn't? OP is very scant on details. Your default is that there is NO REASON for wife to behave this way. My default is the opposite. Until we have more details, we simply don't know.

I'm assuming she hasn't because according to OP she is simply missing the calls and DS has no problem talking to grandma. So we do have some information that doesn't support that grandma was horrible. Your default is to vilify people with zero information about their wrongdoing? NICE!

We also have the information that DD DOESN'T WANT TO. Which you are conveniently ignoring.

I'm sure DD doesn't want to do a LOT of stuff which both parents have no issue making her do. Taking showers, going to school, eating right, exercising, going to bed on time. But THIS, this is where you draw the line. Grow up.

Are you really so intellectually stunted that you don't see the common denominator in all the things you listed? All of those "parents will make you do these things" tasks are about DDs health and well-being. You know what else is about DD's health and well-being? Boundaries.

Sounds like you need to take your own advice and grow some brain matter, dearie.

Are you really so stunted that you don't understand that raising a respectful, caring child who respects her grandma is super beneficial to DDs wellbeing? If boundaries need to be drawn due to some kind of abuse, by all means do that. But there is zero evidence of that.

I suggest that OP take charge of this and make his DD talk to grandma since his wife is being a brat as are you.

"You can only say no if you can prove abuse" "If you don't always comply with someone else's wishes, you're not respectful or caring." "You can only draw the boundaries that meet everyone else's needs/wants first."

Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation.

Uhm, you make no sense whatsoever. Please show me on this keyboard where granma hurt you, you lunatic.

I had great relationships with all my grandparents, and was lucky enough to know my great gran who lived to be 102. All have now passed. I'd be delighted to be able to call any of them again, and I still wouldn't force my kids to.

I said what I said: Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation. "Do it or I'll punish you" isn't a relationship, it's brute force.

I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand basic consent as it applies to relationships. Please don't have any; you're a liability.

I'm sorry you're so damaged that you compare a 5 min call with a grandparent to rape. I said, what I said. You're a lunatic who should not be raising children.

I'm sorry you're so triggered by the word "consent" that you make these wackadoodle connections I never made...

But your willingness to lash out at me personally reveals that you're an unstable person who can't have a simple discussion without making personal attacks at strangers, so thank you for that information. I'll put your commentary in the bin where it belongs.

DP. I am triggered by use of the word rape when discussing a short FT call with grandma. I can’t take seriously anyone who would discuss rape culture in this context.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did grandma take the kids out for ice cream when they were little? Play dolls? Take them to the playground? Play candyland? Treat them to a new outfit occasionally?

Smart questions. OP never came back with an update about WHY his DD doesn't want to talk to grandma. He probably can't have that convo, because he's "irrationally angry" (his words) about this dynamic he created.

Did nobody ask her for her reasoning? Did nobody attempt to have a rational conversation with the kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent.

You realize you sound completely insane when you compare a five min phone call with grandma to rape, right? RIGHT????? FFS

Consent transfers to far more than just rape. Stop trying to villify consent in children. Try are humans and people too, not just your okay thing to do with as you wish.

I saw a thing the other day where babies are supposed to consent to diaper changes. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, that is how far down this consent rabbit hole some of you are!

hahahhaahahhaa omg we shouldn't force babies to have their diapers changed. We shouldn't force kids to go to school or get vaccines. THEY DID NOT CONSENT!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

We have NO IDEA what kind of MIL and grandma she has been for the last 20 years. Just because she's now 81 and old and lonely doesn't mean she was a good person before.

Correct. It's not stopping you though from conjecturing that she was awful. Why is that? Are you projecting? Trying to justify your own horrible behavior towards your in-laws and parents?

If wife has a problem with grandma, she can be a big girl about it and bring up the concerns. I hate passive aggressive antics.

How do you know she hasn't? OP is very scant on details. Your default is that there is NO REASON for wife to behave this way. My default is the opposite. Until we have more details, we simply don't know.

I'm assuming she hasn't because according to OP she is simply missing the calls and DS has no problem talking to grandma. So we do have some information that doesn't support that grandma was horrible. Your default is to vilify people with zero information about their wrongdoing? NICE!

We also have the information that DD DOESN'T WANT TO. Which you are conveniently ignoring.

I'm sure DD doesn't want to do a LOT of stuff which both parents have no issue making her do. Taking showers, going to school, eating right, exercising, going to bed on time. But THIS, this is where you draw the line. Grow up.

Are you really so intellectually stunted that you don't see the common denominator in all the things you listed? All of those "parents will make you do these things" tasks are about DDs health and well-being. You know what else is about DD's health and well-being? Boundaries.

Sounds like you need to take your own advice and grow some brain matter, dearie.

Are you really so stunted that you don't understand that raising a respectful, caring child who respects her grandma is super beneficial to DDs wellbeing? If boundaries need to be drawn due to some kind of abuse, by all means do that. But there is zero evidence of that.

I suggest that OP take charge of this and make his DD talk to grandma since his wife is being a brat as are you.

"You can only say no if you can prove abuse" "If you don't always comply with someone else's wishes, you're not respectful or caring." "You can only draw the boundaries that meet everyone else's needs/wants first."

Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation.

Uhm, you make no sense whatsoever. Please show me on this keyboard where granma hurt you, you lunatic.

I had great relationships with all my grandparents, and was lucky enough to know my great gran who lived to be 102. All have now passed. I'd be delighted to be able to call any of them again, and I still wouldn't force my kids to.

I said what I said: Forced compliance isn't a relationship. It's a hostage situation. "Do it or I'll punish you" isn't a relationship, it's brute force.

I'm sorry you're too stupid to understand basic consent as it applies to relationships. Please don't have any; you're a liability.

I'm sorry you're so damaged that you compare a 5 min call with a grandparent to rape. I said, what I said. You're a lunatic who should not be raising children.

I'm sorry you're so triggered by the word "consent" that you make these wackadoodle connections I never made...

But your willingness to lash out at me personally reveals that you're an unstable person who can't have a simple discussion without making personal attacks at strangers, so thank you for that information. I'll put your commentary in the bin where it belongs.

DP. I am triggered by use of the word rape when discussing a short FT call with grandma. I can’t take seriously anyone who would discuss rape culture in this context.

Following the thread, PP called it a hostage situation. You're the one who brought rape into it.

You're probably just triggered because you can relate to old gran in this story: without force, who's gonna want to talk to you?

[Anonymous]

Unless there grandma has been mean to the wife and/or the daughter, the wife is being a sh*tty mother by interfering here. Purposely scheduling errands during the call is interfering. It’s a parents’ job to help kids keep relationships with extended family — even your spouse’s family.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

Actually, parents and grandparents who take the time to foster strong, close, reciprocal relationships don't have this problem. It's the ones who were selfish and checked out who do. Then they wake up one day in old age and can't figure out why no one wants to visit them.

Door swings both ways. Sounds like grandma is trying very hard and DD is being a brat fully supported by her mom.

Why is it bratty to not want to talk to someone? Why would you even want a forced conversation?

Normalize letting kids say no. Agency is important.

Normilize raising kind, polite kids who understand that grandparents love them and are important. FFS

So saying "no" isn't kind or polite, and little girls shouldn't do it? Really? That's the message you want to send?

Welcome to rape culture. Where did you think that started?

Give me a break. The girl can talk to her grandmother for 5 minutes.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent.

You realize you sound completely insane when you compare a five min phone call with grandma to rape, right? RIGHT????? FFS

Consent transfers to far more than just rape. Stop trying to villify consent in children. Try are humans and people too, not just your okay thing to do with as you wish.

I saw a thing the other day where babies are supposed to consent to diaper changes. I couldn’t tell if it was a joke or not, that is how far down this consent rabbit hole some of you are!

hahahhaahahhaa omg we shouldn't force babies to have their diapers changed. We shouldn't force kids to go to school or get vaccines. THEY DID NOT CONSENT!!!!

Again, imagine thinking this was a smart comeback from an intelligent source, and not a hamfisted derail in an attempt to duck a legitimate point.

If she's not free to say no, she's not free to give meaningful consent. You should probably sit with that instead of thinking about baby diapers. Sicko.