Is dating a total nightmare right now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

The guy above just has a bad picker. He needs to try dating women who won’t sleep with him for couple months. Women who would alternate paying for dates while they figure out his personally
And his personality sucks. He’s got his sex Ed from YouTube video and sleeping with married women cheating on their husbands. Women on the apps are not nearly that promiscuous or immoral

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the apps are really killing the dating scene. My friends who primarily dated before the apps became the default for dating had much better experiences than my friends who are using the apps now. While they can definitely work, my sister met her husband on a dating app, it seems like they have gamified dating to the point that people date for sport and can’t give it up.

Apps haven't killed the dating scene. Women's poor behavior has killed the dating scene.

Evolution made women hypergamous. That doesn't make women evil, it's just their nature. Women are the gatekeepers for sex. Where women are allowed choice, they'll choose to sleep with the high value man every single time. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Ergo, those high value men will gladly pump and dump without a second thought. Unfortunately, the apps make it all too easy to engage in this bad behavior.

Women don't benefit from being used and most men don't value by being frozen out of the dating market. The high value guys, however, are loving life, even if it is a soulless existence of bouncing from one woman to the next. Civilization used to have rules to create better outcomes for the people. Unfortunately, folks thought they were smarter and could create progress by ignoring those new rules. Of course, the progress has been illusory and led to lower satisfaction, especially for women.

Never forget that women were happier in 1970 before all the progress of feminism.

Maybe these women also would rather enjoy the short term flings with higher value men rather than settling for boring couch surfers.

I don't think the apps killed it - they increase competition for men for more attractive women

They don't kill dating for men who get matches. The apps have been great for me.

I have good money, interesting hobbies, travel, stay fit. I get tons of matches.

Will I have a relationship with any of these matches? Nope. Don't need to. Most women will have sex the first or second date. There is no reason to commit to a woman like that, especially if you have options.

Men you have two options knowing women will only go for the top 20%.

1 Get there, be the guy who is an 8/10 minimum.

2 match with 3/4s and roll the dice and see what happens.

If you're one of these guys that get a lot of matches you can deny the 3 and 4's and just do your thing, or not and use them for fun. Up to you.

Point being, if you want to attract women you have to be attractive. Make a lot of money. Oh you don't have that? Get in really good shape and have abs. You'd be surprised what the second will get you even if you drive around a broken down Ford Focus. Become desirable, and honestly it's easy if you do one or both of those aforementioned things. Just don't do what I did and double book yourself and stand one of them up. That's a dick move so don't do it. learn to use your phones calendar app and plan accordingly.

Presume you matched with a woman who is an 8/10 min. She will get lots of interest, just like you. No point for her to sleep with you on date 2-3, as she would take her time selecting and going out with matches. In those 2 LTRs I did have off OLD, the physical part happened almost 2 months after regular communication and them taking me out.

That’s what saves me from players like you. They get upset when clearly told I won’t join them at their apartment building pool to “hang out”. Send vile messages that “they are not interested”. Men are messed up on apps and no woman should sleep with anyone until after 5-6 dates, knowing his lifestyle, seeing him being emotionally invested etc. Regardless of who he is, how attractive, well paid etc.

So my point is a player like you is unlikely to get closer to any 8/10 women. They will crack your BS quickly. You are a user and will dispose and hurt any woman on your way, because you are not looking for a relationship. Those who want LTR are in it; those who are not are always on the apps.

You wouldn’t believe which s..t hits the fan out of most men by the one month mark of dating ! “Dirty” threesomes with gay friends at parties; hiding a live-in GF; alcoholism - you keep going.

All these men are permanently glued to apps “looking”. Like, for years !

Not likely.

Ina good looking guy with decent money and I’ve hooked up with some compete bombshells and some of the married. They’ll sleep with you if you’re desirable. Bottom line, they’ll cheat on their husbands in a flat second.

No big deal for me personally. Once you understand how female nature works you can become the guy they will chase or companion about it. I choose to use it to my advantage. If you’re a guy the game is easy. Become attractive. If you want attractive women you need to become attractive. Look for IOI and make yourself a better person. Once you’re there most women will sleep with you and most will want consistency with you. Especially if you’re interesting and talk to her well.

Also, I’ve also been a guy who was minding my business at home and had women text me after another guy took them out on a date just to come over to my place after he spent tons of money on her to end up riding me on my couch. And these are are women that most men would kill to go on a date with and talk to. It’s shown me what modern dating is really like.

For the men here, the relationship only really works if she likes you more than you like her. I’m not saying treat her like crap, don’t that just makes you a jerk. Set your boundaries and standards high and be the guy that is high value and attractive . And remember, for most men you’re dealing with women who are stuck on their highest default setting. That means that 9/10 or 10/10 guy who hooked up with them a couple of years go? Yeah she thinks she deserves that all the time now. So you’re competing with that guy. And if he comes around she’ll leave you for him in a flat second, so be the 9/10 guy instead. There is a video going around of a woman who is about to get married and her best friend has a video of her calling up her ex from 10 years ago wondering if there is still a chance. That happens more often than you think. I’ve never had that happen to me by one of my best friends had an ex call him up two weeks before she was going to get married just to see if he wound date her. And we’re not talking about some uneducated trailer park trash, she was a highly educated military officer.

So, there you have it gentlemen, the reality is you’re either the guy they call back just to be sure you might still want them or you’re the guy they settle for. Don’t be the settle for guy, be the other guy.

I spit out my coffee when I read “make yourself a better person.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

The guy above just has a bad picker. He needs to try dating women who won’t sleep with him for couple months. Women who would alternate paying for dates while they figure out his personally
And his personality sucks. He’s got his sex Ed from YouTube video and sleeping with married women cheating on their husbands. Women on the apps are not nearly that promiscuous or immoral

lol. Yes..yes they are. The amount if married women who have approached me for sex - and I’ve obliged - is a lot higher than I’d ever have guessed.

My friend is better than me. Taller, tattoos built like a brick sh*t house. Women approach him when we’re out. So yes if you give off that vibe you will get women to sleep with you easily.

It’s not about picking the wrong one. It’s about rolling the dice and getting what you get. And I’ve seen and experienced enough to know what the dating market is what female nature is like.

Oh my husband never wants to survive sex with me. Sure lady.

And if you wait months to sleep with me while I’m investing my time and emotion in taking it as you’re not interested in me. I’m not going to be the sucker who hears this:

Oh I used to hook up with hot guys but I’m going to wait with you because you’re “nice”.

Yeah…no…buh bye

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I’m taking from this is yes— dating is a nightmare.

Bingo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the apps are really killing the dating scene. My friends who primarily dated before the apps became the default for dating had much better experiences than my friends who are using the apps now. While they can definitely work, my sister met her husband on a dating app, it seems like they have gamified dating to the point that people date for sport and can’t give it up.

Apps haven't killed the dating scene. Women's poor behavior has killed the dating scene.

Evolution made women hypergamous. That doesn't make women evil, it's just their nature. Women are the gatekeepers for sex. Where women are allowed choice, they'll choose to sleep with the high value man every single time. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Ergo, those high value men will gladly pump and dump without a second thought. Unfortunately, the apps make it all too easy to engage in this bad behavior.

Women don't benefit from being used and most men don't value by being frozen out of the dating market. The high value guys, however, are loving life, even if it is a soulless existence of bouncing from one woman to the next. Civilization used to have rules to create better outcomes for the people. Unfortunately, folks thought they were smarter and could create progress by ignoring those new rules. Of course, the progress has been illusory and led to lower satisfaction, especially for women.

Never forget that women were happier in 1970 before all the progress of feminism.

Maybe these women also would rather enjoy the short term flings with higher value men rather than settling for boring couch surfers.

I don't think the apps killed it - they increase competition for men for more attractive women

They don't kill dating for men who get matches. The apps have been great for me.

I have good money, interesting hobbies, travel, stay fit. I get tons of matches.

Will I have a relationship with any of these matches? Nope. Don't need to. Most women will have sex the first or second date. There is no reason to commit to a woman like that, especially if you have options.

Men you have two options knowing women will only go for the top 20%.

1 Get there, be the guy who is an 8/10 minimum.

2 match with 3/4s and roll the dice and see what happens.

If you're one of these guys that get a lot of matches you can deny the 3 and 4's and just do your thing, or not and use them for fun. Up to you.

Point being, if you want to attract women you have to be attractive. Make a lot of money. Oh you don't have that? Get in really good shape and have abs. You'd be surprised what the second will get you even if you drive around a broken down Ford Focus. Become desirable, and honestly it's easy if you do one or both of those aforementioned things. Just don't do what I did and double book yourself and stand one of them up. That's a dick move so don't do it. learn to use your phones calendar app and plan accordingly.

Presume you matched with a woman who is an 8/10 min. She will get lots of interest, just like you. No point for her to sleep with you on date 2-3, as she would take her time selecting and going out with matches. In those 2 LTRs I did have off OLD, the physical part happened almost 2 months after regular communication and them taking me out.

That’s what saves me from players like you. They get upset when clearly told I won’t join them at their apartment building pool to “hang out”. Send vile messages that “they are not interested”. Men are messed up on apps and no woman should sleep with anyone until after 5-6 dates, knowing his lifestyle, seeing him being emotionally invested etc. Regardless of who he is, how attractive, well paid etc.

So my point is a player like you is unlikely to get closer to any 8/10 women. They will crack your BS quickly. You are a user and will dispose and hurt any woman on your way, because you are not looking for a relationship. Those who want LTR are in it; those who are not are always on the apps.

You wouldn’t believe which s..t hits the fan out of most men by the one month mark of dating ! “Dirty” threesomes with gay friends at parties; hiding a live-in GF; alcoholism - you keep going.

All these men are permanently glued to apps “looking”. Like, for years !

Not likely.

Ina good looking guy with decent money and I’ve hooked up with some compete bombshells and some of the married. They’ll sleep with you if you’re desirable. Bottom line, they’ll cheat on their husbands in a flat second.

No big deal for me personally. Once you understand how female nature works you can become the guy they will chase or companion about it. I choose to use it to my advantage. If you’re a guy the game is easy. Become attractive. If you want attractive women you need to become attractive. Look for IOI and make yourself a better person. Once you’re there most women will sleep with you and most will want consistency with you. Especially if you’re interesting and talk to her well.

Also, I’ve also been a guy who was minding my business at home and had women text me after another guy took them out on a date just to come over to my place after he spent tons of money on her to end up riding me on my couch. And these are are women that most men would kill to go on a date with and talk to. It’s shown me what modern dating is really like.

For the men here, the relationship only really works if she likes you more than you like her. I’m not saying treat her like crap, don’t that just makes you a jerk. Set your boundaries and standards high and be the guy that is high value and attractive . And remember, for most men you’re dealing with women who are stuck on their highest default setting. That means that 9/10 or 10/10 guy who hooked up with them a couple of years go? Yeah she thinks she deserves that all the time now. So you’re competing with that guy. And if he comes around she’ll leave you for him in a flat second, so be the 9/10 guy instead. There is a video going around of a woman who is about to get married and her best friend has a video of her calling up her ex from 10 years ago wondering if there is still a chance. That happens more often than you think. I’ve never had that happen to me by one of my best friends had an ex call him up two weeks before she was going to get married just to see if he wound date her. And we’re not talking about some uneducated trailer park trash, she was a highly educated military officer.

So, there you have it gentlemen, the reality is you’re either the guy they call back just to be sure you might still want them or you’re the guy they settle for. Don’t be the settle for guy, be the other guy.

Let me ask you: have you ever come across a women who is 8/10 by your standards, but would not sleep with you after 3 dates? Who would turn down a dinner invite but offer a video call to talk , or meet at a Board room instead to play ? Who would alternate paying for dates and keep going out with you but hold on sleeping ? These are women looking for life partners. Your approach (not looking for LTR and expecting sex right away) stems from being highly insecure that a woman would go for your dinner but “ride” someone else. You are caught in some sort of online dating video game.
So far the only LTR you had was a woman with little kids who used you as wallet. So maybe you are not that great 8/10 guy, in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

The guy above just has a bad picker. He needs to try dating women who won’t sleep with him for couple months. Women who would alternate paying for dates while they figure out his personally
And his personality sucks. He’s got his sex Ed from YouTube video and sleeping with married women cheating on their husbands. Women on the apps are not nearly that promiscuous or immoral

lol. Yes..yes they are. The amount if married women who have approached me for sex - and I’ve obliged - is a lot higher than I’d ever have guessed.

My friend is better than me. Taller, tattoos built like a brick sh*t house. Women approach him when we’re out. So yes if you give off that vibe you will get women to sleep with you easily.

It’s not about picking the wrong one. It’s about rolling the dice and getting what you get. And I’ve seen and experienced enough to know what the dating market is what female nature is like.

Oh my husband never wants to survive sex with me. Sure lady.

And if you wait months to sleep with me while I’m investing my time and emotion in taking it as you’re not interested in me. I’m not going to be the sucker who hears this:

Oh I used to hook up with hot guys but I’m going to wait with you because you’re “nice”.

Yeah…no…buh bye

You are weird and maybe some voluntary celibacy would help to straighten your head.

Plenty of women out there after long term relationship or marriages who just want to get to know you as a person before sleeping. It’s easy to tell if she’s interested. Wants to call, invites you out etc.

But the thing is - you would instantly degrade and dispose of such women as you would think they are “low value” alternating paying for dates.

You are f..d to your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its also more difficult today because men have been discouraged from approaching women in public.

Boys in their 20s have still approached me. I'm 42 but appear younger and I am attractive .

I believe you believe it.

Yes ma’am is not approaching you lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

It’s so sad that he described that as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

It’s so sad that he described that as good.

No he just has a terrible picker and sleeps with women who require no effort and take no effort in finding more about him as a human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

Yeah well…sometimes you have to deal with the monster you create. So thank her…you’re welcome

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

Yeah well…sometimes you have to deal with the monster you create. So thank her…you’re welcome

So some random women cheat on their husbands and the rest of women have to deal with that? You have problems dude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

It’s so sad that he described that as good.

No he just has a terrible picker and sleeps with women who require no effort and take no effort in finding more about him as a human being.

I gather these women were good looking but I don’t really see what makes them “high value.”’ They seem like the definition of low value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I don’t fault you, but this is all so gross and depressing, for women at least. I wonder if they know and ok with just being used. They might be.

It’s so sad that he described that as good.

No he just has a terrible picker and sleeps with women who require no effort and take no effort in finding more about him as a human being.

I gather these women were good looking but I don’t really see what makes them “high value.”’ They seem like the definition of low value.

Aha - and he said one was “highly educated military officer”. Military people are amongst the most primitive crowd (limited interests, tunnel view at life etc). And promiscuous. I’ve heard stories of NATO generals and their wives. But it doesn’t mean I would consider these people “ high value “. To the opposite !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the apps are really killing the dating scene. My friends who primarily dated before the apps became the default for dating had much better experiences than my friends who are using the apps now. While they can definitely work, my sister met her husband on a dating app, it seems like they have gamified dating to the point that people date for sport and can’t give it up.

Apps haven't killed the dating scene. Women's poor behavior has killed the dating scene.

Evolution made women hypergamous. That doesn't make women evil, it's just their nature. Women are the gatekeepers for sex. Where women are allowed choice, they'll choose to sleep with the high value man every single time. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Ergo, those high value men will gladly pump and dump without a second thought. Unfortunately, the apps make it all too easy to engage in this bad behavior.

Women don't benefit from being used and most men don't value by being frozen out of the dating market. The high value guys, however, are loving life, even if it is a soulless existence of bouncing from one woman to the next. Civilization used to have rules to create better outcomes for the people. Unfortunately, folks thought they were smarter and could create progress by ignoring those new rules. Of course, the progress has been illusory and led to lower satisfaction, especially for women.

Never forget that women were happier in 1970 before all the progress of feminism.

Maybe these women also would rather enjoy the short term flings with higher value men rather than settling for boring couch surfers.

I don't think the apps killed it - they increase competition for men for more attractive women

They don't kill dating for men who get matches. The apps have been great for me.

I have good money, interesting hobbies, travel, stay fit. I get tons of matches.

Will I have a relationship with any of these matches? Nope. Don't need to. Most women will have sex the first or second date. There is no reason to commit to a woman like that, especially if you have options.

Men you have two options knowing women will only go for the top 20%.

1 Get there, be the guy who is an 8/10 minimum.

2 match with 3/4s and roll the dice and see what happens.

If you're one of these guys that get a lot of matches you can deny the 3 and 4's and just do your thing, or not and use them for fun. Up to you.

Point being, if you want to attract women you have to be attractive. Make a lot of money. Oh you don't have that? Get in really good shape and have abs. You'd be surprised what the second will get you even if you drive around a broken down Ford Focus. Become desirable, and honestly it's easy if you do one or both of those aforementioned things. Just don't do what I did and double book yourself and stand one of them up. That's a dick move so don't do it. learn to use your phones calendar app and plan accordingly.

Presume you matched with a woman who is an 8/10 min. She will get lots of interest, just like you. No point for her to sleep with you on date 2-3, as she would take her time selecting and going out with matches. In those 2 LTRs I did have off OLD, the physical part happened almost 2 months after regular communication and them taking me out.

That’s what saves me from players like you. They get upset when clearly told I won’t join them at their apartment building pool to “hang out”. Send vile messages that “they are not interested”. Men are messed up on apps and no woman should sleep with anyone until after 5-6 dates, knowing his lifestyle, seeing him being emotionally invested etc. Regardless of who he is, how attractive, well paid etc.

So my point is a player like you is unlikely to get closer to any 8/10 women. They will crack your BS quickly. You are a user and will dispose and hurt any woman on your way, because you are not looking for a relationship. Those who want LTR are in it; those who are not are always on the apps.

You wouldn’t believe which s..t hits the fan out of most men by the one month mark of dating ! “Dirty” threesomes with gay friends at parties; hiding a live-in GF; alcoholism - you keep going.

All these men are permanently glued to apps “looking”. Like, for years !

Not likely.

Ina good looking guy with decent money and I’ve hooked up with some compete bombshells and some of the married. They’ll sleep with you if you’re desirable. Bottom line, they’ll cheat on their husbands in a flat second.

No big deal for me personally. Once you understand how female nature works you can become the guy they will chase or companion about it. I choose to use it to my advantage. If you’re a guy the game is easy. Become attractive. If you want attractive women you need to become attractive. Look for IOI and make yourself a better person. Once you’re there most women will sleep with you and most will want consistency with you. Especially if you’re interesting and talk to her well.

Also, I’ve also been a guy who was minding my business at home and had women text me after another guy took them out on a date just to come over to my place after he spent tons of money on her to end up riding me on my couch. And these are are women that most men would kill to go on a date with and talk to. It’s shown me what modern dating is really like.

For the men here, the relationship only really works if she likes you more than you like her. I’m not saying treat her like crap, don’t that just makes you a jerk. Set your boundaries and standards high and be the guy that is high value and attractive . And remember, for most men you’re dealing with women who are stuck on their highest default setting. That means that 9/10 or 10/10 guy who hooked up with them a couple of years go? Yeah she thinks she deserves that all the time now. So you’re competing with that guy. And if he comes around she’ll leave you for him in a flat second, so be the 9/10 guy instead. There is a video going around of a woman who is about to get married and her best friend has a video of her calling up her ex from 10 years ago wondering if there is still a chance. That happens more often than you think. I’ve never had that happen to me by one of my best friends had an ex call him up two weeks before she was going to get married just to see if he wound date her. And we’re not talking about some uneducated trailer park trash, she was a highly educated military officer.

So, there you have it gentlemen, the reality is you’re either the guy they call back just to be sure you might still want them or you’re the guy they settle for. Don’t be the settle for guy, be the other guy.

Let me ask you: have you ever come across a women who is 8/10 by your standards, but would not sleep with you after 3 dates? Who would turn down a dinner invite but offer a video call to talk , or meet at a Board room instead to play ? Who would alternate paying for dates and keep going out with you but hold on sleeping ? These are women looking for life partners. Your approach (not looking for LTR and expecting sex right away) stems from being highly insecure that a woman would go for your dinner but “ride” someone else. You are caught in some sort of online dating video game.
So far the only LTR you had was a woman with little kids who used you as wallet. So maybe you are not that great 8/10 guy, in the end.

Would I? I’m the PP. what’s the board room? Is that the place where they play games or something ?

Would I consider a video call? Yes I’ve done that.

I’m f she’s alternates paying? Yes I would. Or at least she puts in effort

Not sleep with me for several months? No, I wouldn’t like that I’d assume she’s getting sex somewhere else and I’m not investing anymore if that’s the case.


She didn’t have little kids, they were in high school and older than mine. She did use me as a wallet and I won’t do that anymore. But I’m also a giving person and like to put in effort, take care of the person I date and provide for them. I have no problem - well had no problem - being affectionate and caring. It wasn’t like I couldn’t have cheated when I dated her either, I had exes texting me I just ignored it or blocked them.


But what dating has taught me, is the above stuff doesn’t matter. You can even have sex with the person just one or two days before and it’s really good and then boom they’re out and you’re mere strangers again. So no, I won’t do that again, and since then what I have experienced is enough to tell me modern dating doesn’t work unless you’re someone they are willing to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands for