Is dating a total nightmare right now?

[Anonymous]

Dating is easier for men today because a lot of men for whatever reasons don't have a lot going for themselves. If you stand out you will be fine. And I am not talking about shallow physical threats like eye color, height, jawline, muscles etc...if you can hold conversations have good hobbies besides watching sports and drinking beer you are automatically in the top 10% yes the bar is that low. Now if you are looking for an 21 year old chick thats a different story you need 6 packs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dating is easier for men today because a lot of men for whatever reasons don't have a lot going for themselves. If you stand out you will be fine. And I am not talking about shallow physical threats like eye color, height, jawline, muscles etc...if you can hold conversations have good hobbies besides watching sports and drinking beer you are automatically in the top 10% yes the bar is that low. Now if you are looking for an 21 year old chick thats a different story you need 6 packs

Sigh. I can’t wait until school is back in session.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“For her part, Haas wants to be more proactive about flirting IRL by complimenting hot men she sees at the grocery store or in a coffee shop.”

I wonder how hot these men are, if they’re genuinely hot and those are the only guys she puts in effort with then that’s probably her issue. Maybe she should try complimenting the not as hot men too.

Men are only as loyal as their options, if you want a guy to commit you have to make him think you’re a catch and that he’ll have a hard time doing better. This often means being slightly out of his league in looks. If you look and act exactly the same as his past 100 hookups then you’re going to be stuck in the f***zone. You need to differentiate yourself, either be less basic or hotter than all the other chicks he’s used to.

If that's the case then no wonder women are losing interest in dating entirely.

And marriage….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its also more difficult today because men have been discouraged from approaching women in public.

Boys in their 20s have still approached me. I'm 42 but appear younger and I am attractive .

I believe you believe it.

There’s one of these on every thread. I will share that I turn 42 next week and I look like a wreck. The only thing going for me is I’m thin but that is probably making my face worse.

You probably look better than the 42 years old woman who said she was approached by an 18 years old kid

NP. What strange assertion to make... because women are never allowed or supposed to be aware of their own attractiveness or sexual power?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Influencers tend to be obnoxious with a touch of narcissism. Putting your life’s ups and down out there for anyone to see says a lot about yourself. Dating has never been easy much social media just adds fuel to the fire.

Every person who posts on Tiktok is not an influencer. That chick has less than 5k followers and less than 9 posts on her page, definitely not an influencer. She's just a woman telling her story. I don't get on social media and tell my life stories, but I also don't knock those who do. Times have changed and this is how millennials and gen z choose to find community.

Yes, but she's gotten some national attention so every guy has to worry about her complaining about them on a national stage. You treat those women like coworkers, talk about the basics but never open up too much or it will come back to bite you later.

Do you realize you're telling on yourself like this? No decent woman jumps on tiktok to talk about how you cried when your grandma died. Being a decent person doesn't "come back to bite you later".

When you sleep with her friend, when you hit her, when you are a disastrous nightmare of immaturity and entitlement, yes, that might get your story retold. Retold, though: you told that story about yourself first.

Kinda like how you told on yourself with this comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its also more difficult today because men have been discouraged from approaching women in public.

LOL - no, sorry. Not the case at all.
Watching my DD's experiences this is an utter BS statement.

[Anonymous]

Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

[Anonymous]

Finding dates or someone to have casual meet ups with is not hard from my experience. Both men and women seem to be able to get that - meeting quality people that you want something long terms with might be a different story. there's a lot of stuff to pick through especially when looking at the options for folks in their 40s and 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think its also more difficult today because men have been discouraged from approaching women in public.

Boys in their 20s have still approached me. I'm 42 but appear younger and I am attractive .

I believe you believe it.

DP
Well I know this to be true ....and I'm older than the pp. Looking sexy too lol

[Anonymous]

It hasn’t been a nightmare for me. I’m 52, decent looking, sane, successful, know which fork to use, well read and can carry on an intelligent conversation. I’m also smart enough to never talk badly about my ex. While it’s not a nightmare it is hard to meet someone who I’m really compatible and interested in for something long term. Short term relationships have been fun and sexually very fulfilling but they run their course. I’m not anti remarry so I hope that air do get lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been a nightmare for me. I’m 52, decent looking, sane, successful, know which fork to use, well read and can carry on an intelligent conversation. I’m also smart enough to never talk badly about my ex. While it’s not a nightmare it is hard to meet someone who I’m really compatible and interested in for something long term. Short term relationships have been fun and sexually very fulfilling but they run their course. I’m not anti remarry so I hope that air do get lucky.

If you're a woman no guy cares you're well read and can use the correct fork. I mean those are nice bonuses. Guys like you to be good looking, friendly and affectionate.

[Anonymous]

Finding something easy and casual has been no problem for me as a 41 year old female. They do kind of run their course quickly so I am looking for something a bit more long-terms since I would like to remarry at some point. No idea what it is like for guys out there - the ones I have met have had a similar experience to me.

[Anonymous]

When is dating not a nightmare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends who you ask.

Coming from a man who is divorced, reasonably attractive (I give myself a solid 7), in good shape and go to the gym frequently, nice car, own my place, good job, good money, easy custody arrangement with an EX I get along with for the most part, pretty drama free and live my life I have no issues getting dates. I've been on and off apps for the better part of five years and had one long term relationship that ended and decided I won't get into a committed relationship again.

I put in a lot of effort into a long term relationship only for it to be a waste, I thought I wanted to get married again, but that was the final nail in the coffin for me. I put in a lot of effort, gave her a lot of time and spent a lot of money on her and her kids. Mistake number one. Mistake two was trusting anything she said as fact and mistake three was sticking around and trying to make it work because "I put a lot into the relationship" Sunken cost fallacy is a real thing. At the end of the day I don't need to be with someone long term. I have found if you posses the qualities I listed above it's easy to get into sexual relationships with women without commitment. The amount of times I have slept with women on the first or second date is easier and more frequent than I thought could happen. It's not like I'm even like a 10/10 or like Chris Hemsworth or anything. I still got a lot of sex without having the burden of trying to "make things work". Why should I commit? Also, I'm not going to commit to someone that does sleep with me first date. "I never do this", sure lady, tell yourself that to feel better we both know you're lying.

I have friends who tried OLD and it's a wasteland for them. Nothing, no matches, not dates etc. Not sure what they're doing or not doing but I get a lot of matches and have used it to my advantage. I've also met women off of social media too so there's that, either way both have worked for me and so has the cold approach of just talking to them.

My exwife probably does well, she's a blonde women with a big butt and I'm sure she's popular with a certain group of guys. I don't want to know and I don't care, but I'm sure she's not hurting for dates. Finding committed men? Don't know either my kids don't bring up any men's names so who knows. I know she's dated but don't follow up and don't care. As long as she's staying out of my business and makes good decisions in regards to our kids that's all that matters. She smart so I'm sure she's fine.

Point being it can be fine, but there is a lot of trash to wade through. And after a divorce and a failed long term relationship where I poured everything into it just to have it fail in spectacular fashion was enough for me to say...nope not doing that again and why should I? Learned my lesson on that one, only a fool repeats mistakes more than once.

Thing is, if you're a guy and you have options there is no reason to commit to someone as chances are they're going to cheat, have emotional affairs or be in constant contact with ex-boyfriends all the time. I know when I'm in a committed realtionship I don't keep in contact with exes (exwife is different obviously as is an exhusband), once the relationship is done I cut it off right there and block them like they don't exist. Asking for someone to be faithful in return is apparently asking too much for most I just give back what I get.

Also the fact I've matched with women who literally went out on a date with a guy and then came to my house after that guy paid for dinner or whatever else and I ended up having sex with them with no effort whatsoever put me off of committed relationships as well. I work too hard for my money I'm not going to be some fool who takes a woman out just for her to literally leave and ride on some other guy. Nope.

I am a divorced man as well and I am 48. What I have found disturbing with today's dating it's not necessarily how quick women are willing to have sex on the first date but rather their willingness to have unprotected sex. More than in one occasion I could have had unprotected sex if I wanted to. The fact that most men don't get tested regularly really scared me to have sex with many of these women. Perhaps this is unique to men but if you sleep with kenon the first or second date it's likely I won't try hard if we ever get into a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It hasn’t been a nightmare for me. I’m 52, decent looking, sane, successful, know which fork to use, well read and can carry on an intelligent conversation. I’m also smart enough to never talk badly about my ex. While it’s not a nightmare it is hard to meet someone who I’m really compatible and interested in for something long term. Short term relationships have been fun and sexually very fulfilling but they run their course. I’m not anti remarry so I hope that air do get lucky.

If you're a woman no guy cares you're well read and can use the correct fork. I mean those are nice bonuses. Guys like you to be good looking, friendly and affectionate.

I had assumed the poster was a man because of that description actually.