Anonymous wrote:I agree that the apps are really killing the dating scene. My friends who primarily dated before the apps became the default for dating had much better experiences than my friends who are using the apps now. While they can definitely work, my sister met her husband on a dating app, it seems like they have gamified dating to the point that people date for sport and can’t give it up.
Apps haven't killed the dating scene. Women's poor behavior has killed the dating scene.
Evolution made women hypergamous. That doesn't make women evil, it's just their nature. Women are the gatekeepers for sex. Where women are allowed choice, they'll choose to sleep with the high value man every single time. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Ergo, those high value men will gladly pump and dump without a second thought. Unfortunately, the apps make it all too easy to engage in this bad behavior.
Women don't benefit from being used and most men don't value by being frozen out of the dating market. The high value guys, however, are loving life, even if it is a soulless existence of bouncing from one woman to the next. Civilization used to have rules to create better outcomes for the people. Unfortunately, folks thought they were smarter and could create progress by ignoring those new rules. Of course, the progress has been illusory and led to lower satisfaction, especially for women.
Never forget that women were happier in 1970 before all the progress of feminism.
Maybe these women also would rather enjoy the short term flings with higher value men rather than settling for boring couch surfers.
I don't think the apps killed it - they increase competition for men for more attractive women
They don't kill dating for men who get matches. The apps have been great for me.
I have good money, interesting hobbies, travel, stay fit. I get tons of matches.
Will I have a relationship with any of these matches? Nope. Don't need to. Most women will have sex the first or second date. There is no reason to commit to a woman like that, especially if you have options.
Men you have two options knowing women will only go for the top 20%.
1 Get there, be the guy who is an 8/10 minimum.
2 match with 3/4s and roll the dice and see what happens.
If you're one of these guys that get a lot of matches you can deny the 3 and 4's and just do your thing, or not and use them for fun. Up to you.
Point being, if you want to attract women you have to be attractive. Make a lot of money. Oh you don't have that? Get in really good shape and have abs. You'd be surprised what the second will get you even if you drive around a broken down Ford Focus. Become desirable, and honestly it's easy if you do one or both of those aforementioned things. Just don't do what I did and double book yourself and stand one of them up. That's a dick move so don't do it. learn to use your phones calendar app and plan accordingly.
Presume you matched with a woman who is an 8/10 min. She will get lots of interest, just like you. No point for her to sleep with you on date 2-3, as she would take her time selecting and going out with matches. In those 2 LTRs I did have off OLD, the physical part happened almost 2 months after regular communication and them taking me out.
That’s what saves me from players like you. They get upset when clearly told I won’t join them at their apartment building pool to “hang out”. Send vile messages that “they are not interested”. Men are messed up on apps and no woman should sleep with anyone until after 5-6 dates, knowing his lifestyle, seeing him being emotionally invested etc. Regardless of who he is, how attractive, well paid etc.
So my point is a player like you is unlikely to get closer to any 8/10 women. They will crack your BS quickly. You are a user and will dispose and hurt any woman on your way, because you are not looking for a relationship. Those who want LTR are in it; those who are not are always on the apps.
You wouldn’t believe which s..t hits the fan out of most men by the one month mark of dating ! “Dirty” threesomes with gay friends at parties; hiding a live-in GF; alcoholism - you keep going.
All these men are permanently glued to apps “looking”. Like, for years !
Not likely.
Ina good looking guy with decent money and I’ve hooked up with some compete bombshells and some of the married. They’ll sleep with you if you’re desirable. Bottom line, they’ll cheat on their husbands in a flat second.
No big deal for me personally. Once you understand how female nature works you can become the guy they will chase or companion about it. I choose to use it to my advantage. If you’re a guy the game is easy. Become attractive. If you want attractive women you need to become attractive. Look for IOI and make yourself a better person. Once you’re there most women will sleep with you and most will want consistency with you. Especially if you’re interesting and talk to her well.
Also, I’ve also been a guy who was minding my business at home and had women text me after another guy took them out on a date just to come over to my place after he spent tons of money on her to end up riding me on my couch. And these are are women that most men would kill to go on a date with and talk to. It’s shown me what modern dating is really like.
For the men here, the relationship only really works if she likes you more than you like her. I’m not saying treat her like crap, don’t that just makes you a jerk. Set your boundaries and standards high and be the guy that is high value and attractive . And remember, for most men you’re dealing with women who are stuck on their highest default setting. That means that 9/10 or 10/10 guy who hooked up with them a couple of years go? Yeah she thinks she deserves that all the time now. So you’re competing with that guy. And if he comes around she’ll leave you for him in a flat second, so be the 9/10 guy instead. There is a video going around of a woman who is about to get married and her best friend has a video of her calling up her ex from 10 years ago wondering if there is still a chance. That happens more often than you think. I’ve never had that happen to me by one of my best friends had an ex call him up two weeks before she was going to get married just to see if he wound date her. And we’re not talking about some uneducated trailer park trash, she was a highly educated military officer.
So, there you have it gentlemen, the reality is you’re either the guy they call back just to be sure you might still want them or you’re the guy they settle for. Don’t be the settle for guy, be the other guy.
Let me ask you: have you ever come across a women who is 8/10 by your standards, but would not sleep with you after 3 dates? Who would turn down a dinner invite but offer a video call to talk , or meet at a Board room instead to play ? Who would alternate paying for dates and keep going out with you but hold on sleeping ? These are women looking for life partners. Your approach (not looking for LTR and expecting sex right away) stems from being highly insecure that a woman would go for your dinner but “ride” someone else. You are caught in some sort of online dating video game.
So far the only LTR you had was a woman with little kids who used you as wallet. So maybe you are not that great 8/10 guy, in the end.
Would I? I’m the PP. what’s the board room? Is that the place where they play games or something ?
Would I consider a video call? Yes I’ve done that.
I’m f she’s alternates paying? Yes I would. Or at least she puts in effort
Not sleep with me for several months? No, I wouldn’t like that I’d assume she’s getting sex somewhere else and I’m not investing anymore if that’s the case.
She didn’t have little kids, they were in high school and older than mine. She did use me as a wallet and I won’t do that anymore. But I’m also a giving person and like to put in effort, take care of the person I date and provide for them. I have no problem - well had no problem - being affectionate and caring. It wasn’t like I couldn’t have cheated when I dated her either, I had exes texting me I just ignored it or blocked them.
But what dating has taught me, is the above stuff doesn’t matter. You can even have sex with the person just one or two days before and it’s really good and then boom they’re out and you’re mere strangers again. So no, I won’t do that again, and since then what I have experienced is enough to tell me modern dating doesn’t work unless you’re someone they are willing to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands for
You come across as highly intellectual, not knowing what “board room” is. Also women are not testosterone dependent and can hibernate with toys and no sex for years without much damage to their libido.
I didn’t mean not sleeping with you for months, but somewhere between 1 and 2 months is what’s needed to find more about the person.
An adult approach to serous dating is first you find the person who works for you, matches goals, has integrity, doesn’t consider himself a God sent to women, has chemistry, etc. And then sleep with them
Nobody was interested in you as a person. It’s a social flaw that you have or fail to see and work on .
Dating is a social not sexual thing
Have you heard of Tinder? Dating is a sexual marketplace. Apparently you’re either very old or very ignorant to the world around you. Maybe both.
Plenty of people n are interested in me as a person. I have great friends and I get dates a lot. I also get sex a lot.
Just because I don’t know what one bar it is doesn’t make me some idiot. If you lien to play board games good for you. I have more interesting hobbies than playing monopoly at some bar with overpriced drinks . But you do you sweetie. If it makes you happy knock yourself out.
You are an idiot who can’t google. I play chess, really well. And those who create an opposition are not my intellectual equals - I’ll never put out with them. That’s my second date.
Dating is what YOU make out of it. I’m not old but not on Tinder either. Sex is a commodity - agree on that . But the relationships are not.
Of course I can. If you mentioned it you should explain it. Take accountability for yourself.
If you gauge the guys you sleep with by how well they play chess that’s fine, have fun with that. Chess is great. If you want to see if they Vienna defense can beat the Kings Gambit and if he takes your king means he takes you in bed later than by all means go wild.
Dating and relationships are transactional nowadays and thats the reality . You don’t need to be on Tinder to see that. Every dating site operates in the same premises . You swipe on people you think are hot or you go left on the person that gives you the “ick”. Even “the League” and Raya are still the same. It’s what it is
No, chess is just one of many steps I use to eliminate players like you.
Basically all you are saying dating is shopping for sex with as many hot people as possible. Not it’s not and I’ve come across many attractive and well respected men who are not out there just for sex. Even men prefer a relationship stability with the right person, after playing the field for some time.
You are just a part of a 70% category that’s still playing the field. But don’t generalize
Guess you’re not reading or can’t read.
He had that before, now he’s figured it isn’t worth it. Judging by what happened I see his point
What I see is some not very smart and probably depressed male ho is sleeping around because some woman with teen kids used him as a wallet and probably dumped him. It’s on him not being able to pick the right partner. And on him disclosing on his profile that he’s looking for casual only
Depressed or not, if he’s still sleeping with a lot of women it’s on them.
Seems like all of these people look and get what they want. As long as he’s honest and upfront about intentions that’s fine. Everyone is looking for different things in life, no arguing here.
Personally, people whose main goal is sleeping with many others are outside my radar as immature.
Anonymous wrote:I agree that the apps are really killing the dating scene. My friends who primarily dated before the apps became the default for dating had much better experiences than my friends who are using the apps now. While they can definitely work, my sister met her husband on a dating app, it seems like they have gamified dating to the point that people date for sport and can’t give it up.
Apps haven't killed the dating scene. Women's poor behavior has killed the dating scene.
Evolution made women hypergamous. That doesn't make women evil, it's just their nature. Women are the gatekeepers for sex. Where women are allowed choice, they'll choose to sleep with the high value man every single time. Men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Ergo, those high value men will gladly pump and dump without a second thought. Unfortunately, the apps make it all too easy to engage in this bad behavior.
Women don't benefit from being used and most men don't value by being frozen out of the dating market. The high value guys, however, are loving life, even if it is a soulless existence of bouncing from one woman to the next. Civilization used to have rules to create better outcomes for the people. Unfortunately, folks thought they were smarter and could create progress by ignoring those new rules. Of course, the progress has been illusory and led to lower satisfaction, especially for women.
Never forget that women were happier in 1970 before all the progress of feminism.
Maybe these women also would rather enjoy the short term flings with higher value men rather than settling for boring couch surfers.
I don't think the apps killed it - they increase competition for men for more attractive women
They don't kill dating for men who get matches. The apps have been great for me.
I have good money, interesting hobbies, travel, stay fit. I get tons of matches.
Will I have a relationship with any of these matches? Nope. Don't need to. Most women will have sex the first or second date. There is no reason to commit to a woman like that, especially if you have options.
Men you have two options knowing women will only go for the top 20%.
1 Get there, be the guy who is an 8/10 minimum.
2 match with 3/4s and roll the dice and see what happens.
If you're one of these guys that get a lot of matches you can deny the 3 and 4's and just do your thing, or not and use them for fun. Up to you.
Point being, if you want to attract women you have to be attractive. Make a lot of money. Oh you don't have that? Get in really good shape and have abs. You'd be surprised what the second will get you even if you drive around a broken down Ford Focus. Become desirable, and honestly it's easy if you do one or both of those aforementioned things. Just don't do what I did and double book yourself and stand one of them up. That's a dick move so don't do it. learn to use your phones calendar app and plan accordingly.
Presume you matched with a woman who is an 8/10 min. She will get lots of interest, just like you. No point for her to sleep with you on date 2-3, as she would take her time selecting and going out with matches. In those 2 LTRs I did have off OLD, the physical part happened almost 2 months after regular communication and them taking me out.
That’s what saves me from players like you. They get upset when clearly told I won’t join them at their apartment building pool to “hang out”. Send vile messages that “they are not interested”. Men are messed up on apps and no woman should sleep with anyone until after 5-6 dates, knowing his lifestyle, seeing him being emotionally invested etc. Regardless of who he is, how attractive, well paid etc.
So my point is a player like you is unlikely to get closer to any 8/10 women. They will crack your BS quickly. You are a user and will dispose and hurt any woman on your way, because you are not looking for a relationship. Those who want LTR are in it; those who are not are always on the apps.
You wouldn’t believe which s..t hits the fan out of most men by the one month mark of dating ! “Dirty” threesomes with gay friends at parties; hiding a live-in GF; alcoholism - you keep going.
All these men are permanently glued to apps “looking”. Like, for years !
Not likely.
Ina good looking guy with decent money and I’ve hooked up with some compete bombshells and some of the married. They’ll sleep with you if you’re desirable. Bottom line, they’ll cheat on their husbands in a flat second.
No big deal for me personally. Once you understand how female nature works you can become the guy they will chase or companion about it. I choose to use it to my advantage. If you’re a guy the game is easy. Become attractive. If you want attractive women you need to become attractive. Look for IOI and make yourself a better person. Once you’re there most women will sleep with you and most will want consistency with you. Especially if you’re interesting and talk to her well.
Also, I’ve also been a guy who was minding my business at home and had women text me after another guy took them out on a date just to come over to my place after he spent tons of money on her to end up riding me on my couch. And these are are women that most men would kill to go on a date with and talk to. It’s shown me what modern dating is really like.
For the men here, the relationship only really works if she likes you more than you like her. I’m not saying treat her like crap, don’t that just makes you a jerk. Set your boundaries and standards high and be the guy that is high value and attractive . And remember, for most men you’re dealing with women who are stuck on their highest default setting. That means that 9/10 or 10/10 guy who hooked up with them a couple of years go? Yeah she thinks she deserves that all the time now. So you’re competing with that guy. And if he comes around she’ll leave you for him in a flat second, so be the 9/10 guy instead. There is a video going around of a woman who is about to get married and her best friend has a video of her calling up her ex from 10 years ago wondering if there is still a chance. That happens more often than you think. I’ve never had that happen to me by one of my best friends had an ex call him up two weeks before she was going to get married just to see if he wound date her. And we’re not talking about some uneducated trailer park trash, she was a highly educated military officer.
So, there you have it gentlemen, the reality is you’re either the guy they call back just to be sure you might still want them or you’re the guy they settle for. Don’t be the settle for guy, be the other guy.
Let me ask you: have you ever come across a women who is 8/10 by your standards, but would not sleep with you after 3 dates? Who would turn down a dinner invite but offer a video call to talk , or meet at a Board room instead to play ? Who would alternate paying for dates and keep going out with you but hold on sleeping ? These are women looking for life partners. Your approach (not looking for LTR and expecting sex right away) stems from being highly insecure that a woman would go for your dinner but “ride” someone else. You are caught in some sort of online dating video game.
So far the only LTR you had was a woman with little kids who used you as wallet. So maybe you are not that great 8/10 guy, in the end.
Would I? I’m the PP. what’s the board room? Is that the place where they play games or something ?
Would I consider a video call? Yes I’ve done that.
I’m f she’s alternates paying? Yes I would. Or at least she puts in effort
Not sleep with me for several months? No, I wouldn’t like that I’d assume she’s getting sex somewhere else and I’m not investing anymore if that’s the case.
She didn’t have little kids, they were in high school and older than mine. She did use me as a wallet and I won’t do that anymore. But I’m also a giving person and like to put in effort, take care of the person I date and provide for them. I have no problem - well had no problem - being affectionate and caring. It wasn’t like I couldn’t have cheated when I dated her either, I had exes texting me I just ignored it or blocked them.
But what dating has taught me, is the above stuff doesn’t matter. You can even have sex with the person just one or two days before and it’s really good and then boom they’re out and you’re mere strangers again. So no, I won’t do that again, and since then what I have experienced is enough to tell me modern dating doesn’t work unless you’re someone they are willing to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands for
You come across as highly intellectual, not knowing what “board room” is. Also women are not testosterone dependent and can hibernate with toys and no sex for years without much damage to their libido.
I didn’t mean not sleeping with you for months, but somewhere between 1 and 2 months is what’s needed to find more about the person.
An adult approach to serous dating is first you find the person who works for you, matches goals, has integrity, doesn’t consider himself a God sent to women, has chemistry, etc. And then sleep with them
Nobody was interested in you as a person. It’s a social flaw that you have or fail to see and work on .
Dating is a social not sexual thing
Have you heard of Tinder? Dating is a sexual marketplace. Apparently you’re either very old or very ignorant to the world around you. Maybe both.
Plenty of people n are interested in me as a person. I have great friends and I get dates a lot. I also get sex a lot.
Just because I don’t know what one bar it is doesn’t make me some idiot. If you lien to play board games good for you. I have more interesting hobbies than playing monopoly at some bar with overpriced drinks . But you do you sweetie. If it makes you happy knock yourself out.
You are an idiot who can’t google. I play chess, really well. And those who create an opposition are not my intellectual equals - I’ll never put out with them. That’s my second date.
Dating is what YOU make out of it. I’m not old but not on Tinder either. Sex is a commodity - agree on that . But the relationships are not.
Of course I can. If you mentioned it you should explain it. Take accountability for yourself.
If you gauge the guys you sleep with by how well they play chess that’s fine, have fun with that. Chess is great. If you want to see if they Vienna defense can beat the Kings Gambit and if he takes your king means he takes you in bed later than by all means go wild.
Dating and relationships are transactional nowadays and thats the reality . You don’t need to be on Tinder to see that. Every dating site operates in the same premises . You swipe on people you think are hot or you go left on the person that gives you the “ick”. Even “the League” and Raya are still the same. It’s what it is
No, chess is just one of many steps I use to eliminate players like you.
Basically all you are saying dating is shopping for sex with as many hot people as possible. Not it’s not and I’ve come across many attractive and well respected men who are not out there just for sex. Even men prefer a relationship stability with the right person, after playing the field for some time.
You are just a part of a 70% category that’s still playing the field. But don’t generalize
Guess you’re not reading or can’t read.
He had that before, now he’s figured it isn’t worth it. Judging by what happened I see his point
What I see is some not very smart and probably depressed male ho is sleeping around because some woman with teen kids used him as a wallet and probably dumped him. It’s on him not being able to pick the right partner. And on him disclosing on his profile that he’s looking for casual only
Depressed or not, if he’s still sleeping with a lot of women it’s on them.
Seems like all of these people look and get what they want. As long as he’s honest and upfront about intentions that’s fine. Everyone is looking for different things in life, no arguing here.
Personally, people whose main goal is sleeping with many others are outside my radar as immature.
Is he open and honest about his intentions and views of women/dating? That’s not clear to me at all.
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