My school emails me nearly every day with a complaint about something dc has said and Idk what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the calls and emails until you get off work.

Not your job to be some bored admin's buddy.

That won't fly at a private school. They don't live in fear of lawsuits from parents because they get to decide what type of student they work with. The school is not a fit for OPs child. I would explore special need private schools and what the public school offers and maybe consider working with an educational consultant who can guide you toward a good fit. Most likely the other parents are complaining and feel it is taking away from their own child's education. I would work with the school as a team. Let them know what you are doing. See what they suggest. Get some expert advise about what might be the right fit.

op - again i have spoken with SN schools here and he does not qualify. The only accommodation he needs is around this piece and this piece is not that frequent.
but yes i agree about another school.

If his ADHD isn't severe enough to warrant a SN school that he's capable of not being rude to his fellow classmates. Can't have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it’s not a sn school (he does not qualify for one) but they do have an entirely social emotionally focused curriculum.

I don’t mind that they are calling me I kind that I don’t know what to do or what they expect of me beyond what I’m already doing of which they are aware

Do you think his life beyond primary school will be better or worse for having been part of the social emotionally focused curriculum? I'm very surprised at how fragile many of these responses are (take him out of the school!). It sounds like you did a great job finding a school.that will help him to make it in the neurotypical world more readily. The things he has been "accused" of are very minor things. He's not calling people bad names (but he will learn to in public school which is a daily roast fest), he isn't physical (but there are daily fist fights in public school), he's just being a kid whose edges are very mildly rougher than his peers. It's just not a big deal. The stress is coming from the school expecting you to put a stop to what they deem as problems. Are they aware of his disabilities?

Many of know how private schools work. If they are calling often and things are not improving they are likely going to move toward counseling out. They are documenting. There is no protection from IDEA because they don't get federal funds and work with IEPs. The last thing OP needs to do is take the approach that none of this is a big deal. They obviously are annoyed if they are calling so often. They can't get sued by OP if they counsel out the student, but they can be sued if they let him stay and a parent of a kid who OP's kid bother alleges harassment and physical bulling.

I don't see where anyone has mentioned physical bullying?

"Tagged a kid too hard" to the point the kid was "crying" does not sound like tagging to me. This sounds like a parent minimizing things. She got a call about it. I think it was more than a tag. I am assuming this was not the only physical thing that made a child cry, but perhaps I am wrong. Regardless, the school calls daily. It's not a fit and ignoring calls won't help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op - it’s not a sn school (he does not qualify for one) but they do have an entirely social emotionally focused curriculum.

I don’t mind that they are calling me I kind that I don’t know what to do or what they expect of me beyond what I’m already doing of which they are aware

Do you think his life beyond primary school will be better or worse for having been part of the social emotionally focused curriculum? I'm very surprised at how fragile many of these responses are (take him out of the school!). It sounds like you did a great job finding a school.that will help him to make it in the neurotypical world more readily. The things he has been "accused" of are very minor things. He's not calling people bad names (but he will learn to in public school which is a daily roast fest), he isn't physical (but there are daily fist fights in public school), he's just being a kid whose edges are very mildly rougher than his peers. It's just not a big deal. The stress is coming from the school expecting you to put a stop to what they deem as problems. Are they aware of his disabilities?

Many of know how private schools work. If they are calling often and things are not improving they are likely going to move toward counseling out. They are documenting. There is no protection from IDEA because they don't get federal funds and work with IEPs. The last thing OP needs to do is take the approach that none of this is a big deal. They obviously are annoyed if they are calling so often. They can't get sued by OP if they counsel out the student, but they can be sued if they let him stay and a parent of a kid who OP's kid bother alleges harassment and physical bulling.

I don't see where anyone has mentioned physical bullying?

"Tagged a kid too hard" to the point the kid was "crying" does not sound like tagging to me. This sounds like a parent minimizing things. She got a call about it. I think it was more than a tag. I am assuming this was not the only physical thing that made a child cry, but perhaps I am wrong. Regardless, the school calls daily. It's not a fit and ignoring calls won't help.

op - that was literally the school's description of events. I dont know why they would have a dog in the fight of minimizing if that wasn't what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

Where are you? The issue may be that you don’t have these special needs light schools. This behavior would definitely be more than enough for any one of these schools here, and wouldn’t work at any mainstream public or private sans a really robust IEP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore the calls and emails until you get off work.

Not your job to be some bored admin's buddy.

That won't fly at a private school. They don't live in fear of lawsuits from parents because they get to decide what type of student they work with. The school is not a fit for OPs child. I would explore special need private schools and what the public school offers and maybe consider working with an educational consultant who can guide you toward a good fit. Most likely the other parents are complaining and feel it is taking away from their own child's education. I would work with the school as a team. Let them know what you are doing. See what they suggest. Get some expert advise about what might be the right fit.

op - again i have spoken with SN schools here and he does not qualify. The only accommodation he needs is around this piece and this piece is not that frequent.
but yes i agree about another school.

If his ADHD isn't severe enough to warrant a SN school that he's capable of not being rude to his fellow classmates. Can't have it both ways.

NP here to tell you that there are many reasons a child might not qualify for a SN school. ASD or any kind of social difficulties are usually a no-go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

Where are you? The issue may be that you don’t have these special needs light schools. This behavior would definitely be more than enough for any one of these schools here, and wouldn’t work at any mainstream public or private sans a really robust IEP.

np - i'm confused what part of op's child's behavior would not work at a mainstream public. Op mentions a few instances of kid saying unkind things - this happens constantly (weekly if not daily) at my nt dd's public school at this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

Where are you? The issue may be that you don’t have these special needs light schools. This behavior would definitely be more than enough for any one of these schools here, and wouldn’t work at any mainstream public or private sans a really robust IEP.

np - i'm confused what part of op's child's behavior would not work at a mainstream public. Op mentions a few instances of kid saying unkind things - this happens constantly (weekly if not daily) at my nt dd's public school at this age.

Mainstream public is probably the worst placement for the child. His outward manifestations will become worse as he finds himself with a cohort of peers who also have impulsive adhd. He has a much higher likelihood of getting in with a crows that self medicates he has much less of a chance getting any help for academic needs which adhd kiddos have a difficult time managing as they get older and deadlines and workloads multiply

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

Where are you? The issue may be that you don’t have these special needs light schools. This behavior would definitely be more than enough for any one of these schools here, and wouldn’t work at any mainstream public or private sans a really robust IEP.

np - i'm confused what part of op's child's behavior would not work at a mainstream public. Op mentions a few instances of kid saying unkind things - this happens constantly (weekly if not daily) at my nt dd's public school at this age.

Mainstream public is probably the worst placement for the child. His outward manifestations will become worse as he finds himself with a cohort of peers who also have impulsive adhd. He has a much higher likelihood of getting in with a crows that self medicates he has much less of a chance getting any help for academic needs which adhd kiddos have a difficult time managing as they get older and deadlines and workloads multiply

aren't mainstream publics full of kids saying sub optimal things? Isn't that just.. school? I dont mean like violence or abuse but I'm confused why this would be such a bad environment for op's dc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

Where are you? The issue may be that you don’t have these special needs light schools. This behavior would definitely be more than enough for any one of these schools here, and wouldn’t work at any mainstream public or private sans a really robust IEP.

np - i'm confused what part of op's child's behavior would not work at a mainstream public. Op mentions a few instances of kid saying unkind things - this happens constantly (weekly if not daily) at my nt dd's public school at this age.

Mainstream public is probably the worst placement for the child. His outward manifestations will become worse as he finds himself with a cohort of peers who also have impulsive adhd. He has a much higher likelihood of getting in with a crows that self medicates he has much less of a chance getting any help for academic needs which adhd kiddos have a difficult time managing as they get older and deadlines and workloads multiply

aren't mainstream publics full of kids saying sub optimal things? Isn't that just.. school? I dont mean like violence or abuse but I'm confused why this would be such a bad environment for op's dc

Let’s not be deliberately obtuse. Diagnoses exist for a reason. If behavior is to a degree that calls are being made every day it likely differs from behavior that isn’t warranting calls.

[Anonymous]

OP, take the hint.

They don't want the kid at their school. It's not the right fit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, take the hint.

They don't want the kid at their school. It's not the right fit

Op - we flat out asked them this this year and they said they did. I said look we can apply out for middle, can you help us and they said we think he is doing well here.
Doesn’t change the fact that something shifted in the last few weeks and now these incidents are occurring so it’s possible they changed their minds

More importantly it’s less about taking hints and being disturbed - as much as I don’t know what to do about it that I am not already doing. Has anyone had success with strategies to deal with this sort of behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Specialized school. There are schools that are not “special needs” but are filled with kids like this. The McClean school, the Field School, Green Acres.

op - i'm not in dc

Where are you? The issue may be that you don’t have these special needs light schools. This behavior would definitely be more than enough for any one of these schools here, and wouldn’t work at any mainstream public or private sans a really robust IEP.

np - i'm confused what part of op's child's behavior would not work at a mainstream public. Op mentions a few instances of kid saying unkind things - this happens constantly (weekly if not daily) at my nt dd's public school at this age.

Mainstream public is probably the worst placement for the child. His outward manifestations will become worse as he finds himself with a cohort of peers who also have impulsive adhd. He has a much higher likelihood of getting in with a crows that self medicates he has much less of a chance getting any help for academic needs which adhd kiddos have a difficult time managing as they get older and deadlines and workloads multiply

aren't mainstream publics full of kids saying sub optimal things? Isn't that just.. school? I dont mean like violence or abuse but I'm confused why this would be such a bad environment for op's dc

Because NT kids say those things in school only and grow out of them at an appropriate age. ND kids don't have the same situational awareness.
But it is beyond saying off key things. AuADHD kids get in with bad crowds in public school. Always? No. Often? Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, take the hint.

They don't want the kid at their school. It's not the right fit

Op - we flat out asked them this this year and they said they did. I said look we can apply out for middle, can you help us and they said we think he is doing well here.
Doesn’t change the fact that something shifted in the last few weeks and now these incidents are occurring so it’s possible they changed their minds

More importantly it’s less about taking hints and being disturbed - as much as I don’t know what to do about it that I am not already doing. Has anyone had success with strategies to deal with this sort of behavior?

No. If you could train or parent an ND child out of these behaviors it wouldn't be ND. It would be bad parenting. It sounds like you have him in the best possible environment. You talk with him about expectations and it will take years for him to learn/see any effect.