When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like, specifically. Is it just that they aren't around enough? Is it job stress? Is it disconnect from spouse due to intensity of job (like your work is the biggest thing in your life, and your spouse isn't a part of it)?

I'm looking at these divorced men I know in their 50s, but then I know all these men in the same careers but younger (still married, young kids, seems fine from outside) and wondering how they go from one to the other. Divorce is common enough with these careers that there must be some commonalities, but I can't figure what.

For the last couple of decades you have to be a coddled (tiger) momma's boy dork to become an MD or successful attorney. Dorky arrested development men who rarely if not never got laid in high school, college and grad school tend to turn weird as they age and get some status and money from their careers. My best friend from college divorced her MD husband in their 40s and she confessed he literally never gave her an orgasm.

I teach at a medical school (3rd year psychiatry clerkship director) and haven’t seen this.

You mean they DO give orgasms?

[Anonymous]

Why do we pretend the wives are innocent victims? These women are marrying meek dorks they’re not genuinely attracted to for status and/or money. Frankly who cares if a materialistic social climber gets burned by her successful husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like, specifically. Is it just that they aren't around enough? Is it job stress? Is it disconnect from spouse due to intensity of job (like your work is the biggest thing in your life, and your spouse isn't a part of it)?

I'm looking at these divorced men I know in their 50s, but then I know all these men in the same careers but younger (still married, young kids, seems fine from outside) and wondering how they go from one to the other. Divorce is common enough with these careers that there must be some commonalities, but I can't figure what.

For the last couple of decades you have to be a coddled (tiger) momma's boy dork to become an MD or successful attorney. Dorky arrested development men who rarely if not never got laid in high school, college and grad school tend to turn weird as they age and get some status and money from their careers. My best friend from college divorced her MD husband in their 40s and she confessed he literally never gave her an orgasm.

I teach at a medical school (3rd year psychiatry clerkship director) and haven’t seen this.

You mean they DO give orgasms?

Haha, everyone quiet down, some quack shrink instructor is here to tell us how amazing her male students are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do we pretend the wives are innocent victims? These women are marrying meek dorks they’re not genuinely attracted to for status and/or money. Frankly who cares if a materialistic social climber gets burned by her successful husband.

This is sort of where I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like, specifically. Is it just that they aren't around enough? Is it job stress? Is it disconnect from spouse due to intensity of job (like your work is the biggest thing in your life, and your spouse isn't a part of it)?

I'm looking at these divorced men I know in their 50s, but then I know all these men in the same careers but younger (still married, young kids, seems fine from outside) and wondering how they go from one to the other. Divorce is common enough with these careers that there must be some commonalities, but I can't figure what.

For the last couple of decades you have to be a coddled (tiger) momma's boy dork to become an MD or successful attorney. Dorky arrested development men who rarely if not never got laid in high school, college and grad school tend to turn weird as they age and get some status and money from their careers. My best friend from college divorced her MD husband in their 40s and she confessed he literally never gave her an orgasm.

So true

Secure the bag and make a break.

This is the way.

With medicine, by the time you have secured the bag you are in your 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like, specifically. Is it just that they aren't around enough? Is it job stress? Is it disconnect from spouse due to intensity of job (like your work is the biggest thing in your life, and your spouse isn't a part of it)?

I'm looking at these divorced men I know in their 50s, but then I know all these men in the same careers but younger (still married, young kids, seems fine from outside) and wondering how they go from one to the other. Divorce is common enough with these careers that there must be some commonalities, but I can't figure what.

For the last couple of decades you have to be a coddled (tiger) momma's boy dork to become an MD or successful attorney. Dorky arrested development men who rarely if not never got laid in high school, college and grad school tend to turn weird as they age and get some status and money from their careers. My best friend from college divorced her MD husband in their 40s and she confessed he literally never gave her an orgasm.

I teach at a medical school (3rd year psychiatry clerkship director) and haven’t seen this.

You mean they DO give orgasms?

I mean they aren’t dorky arrested development men. Most of them aren’t even men.

[Anonymous]

It takes a big ego to succeed in these jobs

For the lawyer I knew, he wanted a wife he could show-off professionally. He no longer valued the SAHM to his 4 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do we pretend the wives are innocent victims? These women are marrying meek dorks they’re not genuinely attracted to for status and/or money. Frankly who cares if a materialistic social climber gets burned by her successful husband.

There are some meek dorks in there but that is not the norm for doctors especially surgeons and big law partners, especially those with business. At my firm alone there partners that are former Marine officers, Ivy League football and lax players, and a former intelligence officer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we pretend the wives are innocent victims? These women are marrying meek dorks they’re not genuinely attracted to for status and/or money. Frankly who cares if a materialistic social climber gets burned by her successful husband.

There are some meek dorks in there but that is not the norm for doctors especially surgeons and big law partners, especially those with business. At my firm alone there partners that are former Marine officers, Ivy League football and lax players, and a former intelligence officer.

The sports surgeons are sooo alpha. To the extent that even when they’re wrong they seem right.

[Anonymous]

Sure takes a lot of talent and alphaness to be born the son of a partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we pretend the wives are innocent victims? These women are marrying meek dorks they’re not genuinely attracted to for status and/or money. Frankly who cares if a materialistic social climber gets burned by her successful husband.

There are some meek dorks in there but that is not the norm for doctors especially surgeons and big law partners, especially those with business. At my firm alone there partners that are former Marine officers, Ivy League football and lax players, and a former intelligence officer.

The ones I know are not former athletes or military but they aren't meek either. A friend who is a surgeon definitely has an alpha personality but is also really charming in a kind way-- his patients love him. And I know several Big Law partners and a couple GCs and their personalities are pretty varied but none are meek, and they all have an aura of success/charisma-- that's part of how they got where they are. The shirts of clients you deal on with at that level are looking for someone who feels like an equal which means confident, sometimes aggressive, but also calm and in control. These are not weak nerds.

[Anonymous]

Dumb as dirt, bottle blond trophy wives they married and it got old very quick.

[Anonymous]

When a bookish beta male does not get p*ssy the first 30 years of his life, then suddenly has bottom-feeders throwing p*ssy at him, some men turn into pathological lying sociopaths trying to make up for lost time.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all the thread, but as a big law partner, I see a lot of powerful men who are admired by their younger, attractive associates and paralegals. Now add in long hours and stress and affairs are unfortunately common. Happened to me, but we didn't get caught so I am not among the statistics.

Also, these types can afford divorce. A lot of people stay married because they can't afford it.

That all being said, I do not see the rates of divorce unusually high for the male partners. It's more the women that are often divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like, specifically. Is it just that they aren't around enough? Is it job stress? Is it disconnect from spouse due to intensity of job (like your work is the biggest thing in your life, and your spouse isn't a part of it)?

I'm looking at these divorced men I know in their 50s, but then I know all these men in the same careers but younger (still married, young kids, seems fine from outside) and wondering how they go from one to the other. Divorce is common enough with these careers that there must be some commonalities, but I can't figure what.

For the last couple of decades you have to be a coddled (tiger) momma's boy dork to become an MD or successful attorney. Dorky arrested development men who rarely if not never got laid in high school, college and grad school tend to turn weird as they age and get some status and money from their careers. My best friend from college divorced her MD husband in their 40s and she confessed he literally never gave her an orgasm.

I teach at a medical school (3rd year psychiatry clerkship director) and haven’t seen this.

You mean they DO give orgasms?

I mean they aren’t dorky arrested development men. Most of them aren’t even men.

How would you know how it is to date your students? Arrested development in the context of their dating and sexual experiences. Of course in the classroom they’re typical conniving kiss asses.