When successful men with demanding jobs (doctor, lawyer) divorce, what usually causes it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a woman, the big lawyers and doctors do not divorce much. They tend to have sex on the side. The big law partners can easily carve out time for affairs. Out of the doctors, the surgeons (specifically ortho, plastic surgeons, etc) tend to be the worst offenders.

They all tend to prefer to stay married. To maintain consistent care for their kids and for sake of public image.

Agree with this. And big law partners (men and women) have more opportunities for affairs because they often travel a lot, and the nature of their business brings them into contact with a wide range of people who might be up for short or long-term affairs -- clients, associates, colleagues/friends/old flames in other cities. And their work is often social (dinners, drinks, and other entertainment) which makes it very easy to conceal extra-marital relationships.

My sense is doctors who cheat are much more likely to do it with staff within their practice or hospital, which can be incredibly convenient, but is a much smaller pool and seems riskier if you really care about not getting caught (not just by your spouse but by colleagues as well, as that kind of workplace affair can be very problematic). And while technically lawyers and doctors both have ethical rules that make relationships with clients/patients a bad idea, the rules for doctors are a much bigger deal. A corporate law partner having an affair with someone in the GC's office at a corporate client would really not be considered a big deal; a surgeon having an affair with a patient would be jeopardize their license to practice.

Now, doctors who teach in med schools, or who are very active on the publishing/speaking circuit? Lots of opportunities to cheat.

I teach in a med school. I've seen none of this.

Reading comprehension. The point was that there are more opportunities to cheat in that setting than a doctor who spending all his time in practice. Not that all doctors who teach in med schools cheat. A doctor who is teaching will interact with a broader range of people and also have a more varied schedule which makes it easier to conceal an affair if you want to have one. A physician who spends every work day in the same practice with the same 20 people will have fewer opportunities to cheat in a way that would be hard to detect.

It's not a matter of reading comprehension and more you just pulling stuff out of your arse because your thumbs got on a roll posting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll answer this as a wife of a very high earning big firm lawyer-I have to do everything. It’s exhausting and I have become extremely resentful.

We aren’t divorced…yet.

Do you work outside of the home? If not, is it fair to be resentful if he's providing a financially-comfortable life for your family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll answer this as a wife of a very high earning big firm lawyer-I have to do everything. It’s exhausting and I have become extremely resentful.

We aren’t divorced…yet.

Do you work outside of the home? If not, is it fair to be resentful if he's providing a financially-comfortable life for your family?

As a high earning wife, I’m proud that I’ve managed to hug my children at least once on half of the days of their childhood. Do you know how hard that is?

It doesn’t matter how much you earn. You can’t outsource your entire role as a spouse or parent. If you try, you’ll end up with broken relationships.

[Anonymous]

Wow mom of the year award right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Speaking as a woman, the big lawyers and doctors do not divorce much. They tend to have sex on the side. The big law partners can easily carve out time for affairs. Out of the doctors, the surgeons (specifically ortho, plastic surgeons, etc) tend to be the worst offenders.

They all tend to prefer to stay married. To maintain consistent care for their kids and for sake of public image.

Agree with this. And big law partners (men and women) have more opportunities for affairs because they often travel a lot, and the nature of their business brings them into contact with a wide range of people who might be up for short or long-term affairs -- clients, associates, colleagues/friends/old flames in other cities. And their work is often social (dinners, drinks, and other entertainment) which makes it very easy to conceal extra-marital relationships.

My sense is doctors who cheat are much more likely to do it with staff within their practice or hospital, which can be incredibly convenient, but is a much smaller pool and seems riskier if you really care about not getting caught (not just by your spouse but by colleagues as well, as that kind of workplace affair can be very problematic). And while technically lawyers and doctors both have ethical rules that make relationships with clients/patients a bad idea, the rules for doctors are a much bigger deal. A corporate law partner having an affair with someone in the GC's office at a corporate client would really not be considered a big deal; a surgeon having an affair with a patient would be jeopardize their license to practice.

Now, doctors who teach in med schools, or who are very active on the publishing/speaking circuit? Lots of opportunities to cheat.

I teach in a med school. I've seen none of this.

Reading comprehension. The point was that there are more opportunities to cheat in that setting than a doctor who spending all his time in practice. Not that all doctors who teach in med schools cheat. A doctor who is teaching will interact with a broader range of people and also have a more varied schedule which makes it easier to conceal an affair if you want to have one. A physician who spends every work day in the same practice with the same 20 people will have fewer opportunities to cheat in a way that would be hard to detect.

It's not a matter of reading comprehension and more you just pulling stuff out of your arse because your thumbs got on a roll posting.

Actually it's a matter of asking yourself why the idea that SOME doctors cheat (a fact) is so offensive to you personally.

[Anonymous]

It's not, but I work with data and evidence, and you are just spouting off stuff you think makes sense and I'm just supposed to what, accept it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow mom of the year award right here.

I’m not competing for mom of the year. I do understand the wife who’s divorcing a high-earning husband. Money is not a substitute for love. Anyone who thinks so is a poor spouse and/or parent. Divorce rates are high because poor spouses and parents usually get divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not, but I work with data and evidence, and you are just spouting off stuff you think makes sense and I'm just supposed to what, accept it?

Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.

[Anonymous]

Probably where most of the cheated on DW's have been getting their meals over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not, but I work with data and evidence, and you are just spouting off stuff you think makes sense and I'm just supposed to what, accept it?

Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.

Dude. You are the one who sounds like an idiot with your ideas that people in academic medicine are cheating. Like people are off f***ing in the hotel at the APPD conference. It’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not, but I work with data and evidence, and you are just spouting off stuff you think makes sense and I'm just supposed to what, accept it?

Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.

Dude. You are the one who sounds like an idiot with your ideas that people in academic medicine are cheating. Like people are off f***ing in the hotel at the APPD conference. It’s ridiculous.

Lol, if literally no one is ******* in a hotel room at a conference, the system is broken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guy gets inflated ego at work and gets used to everyone telling him he is so wonderful. Does not like coming home and doing the work in a give and take, 50-50 relationship.

Do you still have other relationship now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not, but I work with data and evidence, and you are just spouting off stuff you think makes sense and I'm just supposed to what, accept it?

Ma'am, this is a Wendy's.

Dude. You are the one who sounds like an idiot with your ideas that people in academic medicine are cheating. Like people are off f***ing in the hotel at the APPD conference. It’s ridiculous.

Lol, if literally no one is ******* in a hotel room at a conference, the system is broken.

Yeah. These conferences are not sexy.

[Anonymous]

There wives carry all the burden of life hence they aren't as sweet as a random women sweet talking them.

[Anonymous]

Cheating and drinking, which he would have done if he didn’t have a “big, successful job” so I don’t think it had anything to do with the job! Although he did keep sleeping with people from work, so there’s that.