Mom Remarried- New Guy And Shoes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you can't ignore it. It's his house (and hers too now)-- but it's not yours and that's the key point. If it bothers you, bring slippers.

When your parent marries, you have to make compromises and accept changes. Welcome to being an adult stepchild!

What? No, you do not have to accept changes. He can accept that people wear shoes in the house that they have been wearing shoes in for the last 4 decades!

You can take your shoes off, or you can stay home alone. It's up to you. You sound like a brat.

OP stole the party and now all her sibs are supposedly having Thanksgiving dinner at hers, snubbing her mother.

Sounds like a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

No. If this is the house OP grew up in then OP can do what she likes. It is her house as much as the Mothers. I do think you have to bring it up to her though. The whole concept is stupid.

TIL I'm a real estate millionaire!! I own every property I ever lived in, even if I didn't pay mortgage or rent!

You just described the step dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wearing shoes in the house is very dirty and unhealthy.

This. My house growing up was also shoeless. White parents.

Same here and this was back in the 70s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wearing shoes in the house is very dirty and unhealthy.

This. My house growing up was also shoeless. White parents.

Same here and this was back in the 70s.

Me too. House growing up was always no shoes, even 50 years ago. Also, white. No shoes allowed in the tent, either.

But if my mom imposed some weird new rule on me and my family for visiting the family home I'd tell her I'm not coming and neither are the grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

No. If this is the house OP grew up in then OP can do what she likes. It is her house as much as the Mothers. I do think you have to bring it up to her though. The whole concept is stupid.

That's absurd. OP doesn't live there; she's not an owner; it's not her house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

No. If this is the house OP grew up in then OP can do what she likes. It is her house as much as the Mothers. I do think you have to bring it up to her though. The whole concept is stupid.

That's absurd. OP doesn't live there; she's not an owner; it's not her house.

If you grow up in a house it is yours. Not legally but it is yours. New "dad" can't take that away. I would just not comply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

No. If this is the house OP grew up in then OP can do what she likes. It is her house as much as the Mothers. I do think you have to bring it up to her though. The whole concept is stupid.

TIL I'm a real estate millionaire!! I own every property I ever lived in, even if I didn't pay mortgage or rent!

Sure -- is it the house you were raised in and still owned by a parent? If so, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

No. If this is the house OP grew up in then OP can do what she likes. It is her house as much as the Mothers. I do think you have to bring it up to her though. The whole concept is stupid.

No it is her mother’s house and it was never her house. My mom can change anything she wants in her house. I grew up there but I never owned any part of it though one day will. I have my own home and I make the rules and changes I want.

It is your house if you grew up there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you generally ignore people's instructions about shoes in their house? This isn't that different, although I get that it can be upsetting to see your childhood home evolve esp with a new person. Also , Unless they are married but living separaetly, it's also his house.

I would ignore. Why comply with nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is not the socks but that this new guy is establishing rules for what is the kids' house as much as anyone's. If you grow up in a house, it's your house forever. I think your mom should tell her new husband to leave it alone for one day and let her kids come home and return to their comfortable patterns they grew up with.

lol. No it’s not your forever house once you are an adult.

OP how old are you? Unless she is a child, calling her “kid” is ridiculous.

LOL, yes it is. Who are you to say otherwise? Not a single friend of mine would ever say their childhood home is more their steparents than theirs. Is this whole forum full of greedy steparents?

I feel ya, OP, I hate when my dad's wife makes changes to the home-- which btw she does not own, which was her choice on purpose, because she doesn't want the hassle of dealing with it if my father dies before her. But she lives there and she has the right to, and I have to accept it. Especially over something as minor as shoes.

Can't you just bring some slippers? Why does this bother you so much? For all you know your mom has been yearning for a no-shoes house all her life and now has the chance to have it!

She has the right to? Why? I own my my mom's home before her husband does. My dad's will says so.

you
Wow, you are a disgusting person.

[Anonymous]

simple: get over it. It's not your house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

No. If this is the house OP grew up in then OP can do what she likes. It is her house as much as the Mothers. I do think you have to bring it up to her though. The whole concept is stupid.

That's absurd. OP doesn't live there; she's not an owner; it's not her house.

If you grow up in a house it is yours. Not legally but it is yours. New "dad" can't take that away. I would just not comply.

For all those siding against the stepdad, I assume that means if you ever find yourself to be the stepparent, you will acquiesce to your adult stepchildren's desires regarding your home, even if you vehemently disagree, because it's their house, not yours.

[Anonymous]

No one would ditch their mom on Thanksgiving over their right to wear shoes unless there was way more going on. Wearing shoes is not a hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

We are an Asian family. We are a shoeless house and almost all families we know are shoeless. Non Asian families just seem less strict than Asians.

I don’t understand how one would want the dirty shoes you walked around in all day in public restrooms, gas stations, hospitals, etc on your floors at home.

If the guy was just a boyfriend, I can see why kids may be offended but this is your mom’s husband and it is their home.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, OP. It’s hard to get a step-parent as an adult!