Mom Remarried- New Guy And Shoes

[Anonymous]

He is not the 'new man' of the house. What a bizarre idea. He's been in th ehouse for 2 months, OP has been in it her entire life. If there are growing pain concessions to make, they are his to burden.

I find it odd that he would do this. You'd think he would read the room and go with the flow.

I hope your mom is safe OP

<hugs>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wearing shoes in the house is very dirty and unhealthy.

No it’s not. For generations; millions and millions of people have worn shoes in their house and suffered no ill effects from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wearing shoes in the house is very dirty and unhealthy.

This. My house growing up was also shoeless. White parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not the 'new man' of the house. What a bizarre idea. He's been in th ehouse for 2 months, OP has been in it her entire life. If there are growing pain concessions to make, they are his to burden.

I find it odd that he would do this. You'd think he would read the room and go with the flow.

I hope your mom is safe OP

<hugs>

What? They have been married for more than 2 years. I assume OP is an adult and has not lived in the house for decades. You don’t get to claim your childhood house over your mother once you are an actual adult. OP’s post is pretty childish so maybe she is chronologically a child.

[Anonymous]

Do you really think your mom needs the reminder that yes, the way things were, for decades in this house, are no longer? She’s trying to move forward with the limited life she has left. Has she not suffered enough, losing the love of her life and the father of her children? Other than this childish tantrum, what else are you bringing to the Thanksgiving table?

Leave your shoes at the door. Not just because it’s disgusting to wear outside shoes in the house, but because she’s your mother, and you love and respect her, and most basically, because IT’S NOT YOUR HOUSE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not the 'new man' of the house. What a bizarre idea. He's been in th ehouse for 2 months, OP has been in it her entire life. If there are growing pain concessions to make, they are his to burden.

I find it odd that he would do this. You'd think he would read the room and go with the flow.

I hope your mom is safe OP

<hugs>

Are you kidding? How are you reading endangerment into this situation?

[Anonymous]

Is it OP sock-puppeting her own thread?

Anyway, you just go with the new rules, OP. Not only is it a very minor change, but it's also a change for the BETTER.

[Anonymous]

So you need your mom to chime in and validate his statement? "Yes, Larla, it is a no-shoes house now" and then you'll feel okay about it? Come on.

Look, I get that this is hard. Nobody's more sympathetic than I am to the challenges of late-in-life "blending". But it's not about the shoes.

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is not the socks but that this new guy is establishing rules for what is the kids' house as much as anyone's. If you grow up in a house, it's your house forever. I think your mom should tell her new husband to leave it alone for one day and let her kids come home and return to their comfortable patterns they grew up with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is not the socks but that this new guy is establishing rules for what is the kids' house as much as anyone's. If you grow up in a house, it's your house forever. I think your mom should tell her new husband to leave it alone for one day and let her kids come home and return to their comfortable patterns they grew up with.

lol. No it’s not your forever house once you are an adult.

OP how old are you? Unless she is a child, calling her “kid” is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Bring indoor shoes if you must wear shoes. My indoor shoes for winter are shearling lined Birkenstocks. Super comfy!

Also don’t be unkind to your mom and her new husband. Just don’t

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wearing shoes in the house is very dirty and unhealthy.

No it’s not. For generations; millions and millions of people have worn shoes in their house and suffered no ill effects from it.

No, people throughout history have been very dirty and unhealthy and have died young of easily preventable conditions. Part of the reason you live longer is a generally healthier environment, and this includes not dragging in dog fecal matter with your shoes.

[Anonymous]

Ugh I would not like that, either. It feels like this interloper is taking control over a space that has always belonged to you and your family.

You can talk to your mom about it - this probably isn't the hill you want to die on. But I do think it's worth taking stock of how you're feeling in general about losing your dad and your mom's remarriage - maybe you feel like she shouldn't have moved on yet, and that she's forcing you to, too, before you're ready?

Sorry OP. This is petty in a way and very much not in another way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh I would not like that, either. It feels like this interloper is taking control over a space that has always belonged to you and your family.

You can talk to your mom about it - this probably isn't the hill you want to die on. But I do think it's worth taking stock of how you're feeling in general about losing your dad and your mom's remarriage - maybe you feel like she shouldn't have moved on yet, and that she's forcing you to, too, before you're ready?

Sorry OP. This is petty in a way and very much not in another way.

^ And, just to add - your mom can be on her own timetable but perhaps you're realizing it's different from yours. It could be worth exploring in therapy, if you're not already talking to someone.

Grief is hard. Losing our primary people in life is really really hard. I think we feel it in all kinds of ways, big and small.

[Anonymous]

Serious question- how are people's sweaty stocking feet cleaner than shoe bottoms? I've never understood this.