Mom Remarried- New Guy And Shoes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is not the socks but that this new guy is establishing rules for what is the kids' house as much as anyone's. If you grow up in a house, it's your house forever. I think your mom should tell her new husband to leave it alone for one day and let her kids come home and return to their comfortable patterns they grew up with.

lol. No it’s not your forever house once you are an adult.

OP how old are you? Unless she is a child, calling her “kid” is ridiculous.

LOL, yes it is. Who are you to say otherwise? Not a single friend of mine would ever say their childhood home is more their steparents than theirs. Is this whole forum full of greedy steparents?

Of my parents, their friends, and my friends’ parents, most people have downsized, turned kid rooms into guest rooms, actually started doing “no shoes” during the pandemic, switched up the way holidays have been done, bought vacation homes, homes to retire in…and maybe most importantly of all, have their own vibrant, active lives apart from catering to their children’s whims. All of these things require a house to morph and be used differently than it was twenty years ago with young kids.

It’s crazy to think people are in their thirties with their own families and think they have any claim over how their parents’ house is run.

This is really all that needs to be said. Op thinks she can control how her mother and her new husband live in their house because she grew up in it decades ago? Holy smokes.

Does that scare you Grandma?

[Anonymous]

OP needs to get used to the idea that her childhood home will not be an asset that she and her siblings benefit from after her mother's death. It's a good idea to adjust your thinking now. Remarriage means everything shifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was at a (small, probably 10-12 people) party once in a shoeless house. One guest arrived on the later end and when she was asked to remove her shoes, she refused, because they were part of her outfit. No one argued or tried to force her to comply, but she looked insane and I still think about it. It isn’t your home! You don’t get to behave however you want in someone else’s house, family or not.

She looked mentally unwell? She appeared to suffer from a diagnosable metal illness?

Do you have any idea how...... insane you people sound?

This is not about clean floors and dog sh*t. Thiis about control freaks bullying people.

If I'm ever at a party where they insist I remove my shoes, I will. I also can promise you I will urinate on the bathroom floor.

You think people who make rules for their own home are “control freaks,” meanwhile, you would dish out retribution for being asked to remove your shoes by purposely urinating on your hosts’ floor? You’re a complete psycho. If you feel that strongly about removing your shoes, LEAVE. Those aren’t the right friends for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

Wow. What a response. Have you considered those for whom it is difficult to remove their shoes? Bringing an indoor shoes may not be a viable alternative. And no one is owed any private medical information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

Wow. What a response. Have you considered those for whom it is difficult to remove their shoes? Bringing an indoor shoes may not be a viable alternative. And no one is owed any private medical information.

This is what shoe covers are for. Also, an invitation is not a summons. You can decline invitations that don’t suit your circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

Wow. What a response. Have you considered those for whom it is difficult to remove their shoes? Bringing an indoor shoes may not be a viable alternative. And no one is owed any private medical information.

This is what shoe covers are for. Also, an invitation is not a summons. You can decline invitations that don’t suit your circumstances.

If someone has difficulty removing their shoes then putting on shoe covers may be just as difficult. What an ableist point of view you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t host any sort of party and expect guests to take off their shoes. It is rude and gross. Who wants to wear slippers with a fancy outfit or bring “indoor shoes” to someone else’s house. If you have a shoeless house, clean the floor after the party and move on.

If you move into someone else’s home after they have raised their kids there, don’t change house rules. The house is more theirs than yours. If you must change things, insist on getting a new house.

Some of the no-shoes people seem to think this is the 19th century, and their guests are slogging through muddy streets covered in horse manure before they enter your house for a dinner party. It’s really bizarre and neurotic.

If you live in the DC area, it's highly likely your guests are walking through dog poo and homeless urine.

No, it’s really not likely at all.

And what are you doing, eating off your floors? My skin almost never touches the floors in the parts of our house where guests walk around in their shoes.

I have an infant and toddler, so yes. This happens.

Getting exposed to some dirt is good for a kid's immune system.

Are people really afraid of catching some horrible disease from their visitors' shoes? That's some serious health anxiety there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

Wow. What a response. Have you considered those for whom it is difficult to remove their shoes? Bringing an indoor shoes may not be a viable alternative. And no one is owed any private medical information.

This is what shoe covers are for. Also, an invitation is not a summons. You can decline invitations that don’t suit your circumstances.

If someone has difficulty removing their shoes then putting on shoe covers may be just as difficult. What an ableist point of view you have.

How did they get their shoes on?

[Anonymous]

He gets 50 percent say and your mom gets 50 percent say on their house rules. Guess who gets zero say? You! I get that it’s your childhood home and you still feel attachment or maybe even some entitlement to it. But when you become an adult, it’s time to have your own place and then you can have your own preferences.

Also, I’ll always be team no-shoes. It’s disrespectful to track in whatever you stepped in into someone’s home. I’d never insist on it if someone refused, but I’d think that person was not very respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

Wow. What a response. Have you considered those for whom it is difficult to remove their shoes? Bringing an indoor shoes may not be a viable alternative. And no one is owed any private medical information.

This is what shoe covers are for. Also, an invitation is not a summons. You can decline invitations that don’t suit your circumstances.

If someone has difficulty removing their shoes then putting on shoe covers may be just as difficult. What an ableist point of view you have.

How did they get their shoes on?

With great difficulty. Maybe it took them quite a while. Maybe with the assistance of a caregiver.

[Anonymous]

I hate when people wear shoes in my house, but I never force the issue other than with my family members and our nanny. We all have slippers. 95% of our guests take the cue. Whenever many people are over for a dinner or work event, I schedule a housekeeper for the next day. I always take my shoes off in other people's homes unless they specifically tell me not to bother or their house is very dirty. I think my approach is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

What is so hard about taking off one’s shoes. Seriously. Place a chair or some other seating nearby to help those that need to sit while removing or putting them on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are a shoeless house 95% of the time and when my elderly parents come they happily comply and enjoy bringing slippers. My mom is a shopaholic and literally brings NEW shoes to wear inside the house only, which I find hilarious.

I also have a bunch of cheap amazon grippy socks for guest if they choose. If once in a while a guest doesn't remove shoes I look the other way. Elderly aunt with knee problems...whatever. Cousin with chronic back pain, sure. SUPER shy kid, whatever. We try to keep the front walk swept to avoid tracking in excess mud. But generally, if you ignore this as an able bodied close family member staying a long time with advance notice then you ATAH.

I love this. You triage your guests and determine who shall comply and who shall pass. I envison the image of a line at your door as people wait to be judged. Nice.

Right? What about those with "invisible" disabilities who haven't disclosed their condition to you and either need to or prefer to keep their shoes on? Shoeless houses can be quite discriminatory.

Those guests should inform the host of the issue and/or come prepared with indoor shoes.





Dirty pig.

Wow. What a response. Have you considered those for whom it is difficult to remove their shoes? Bringing an indoor shoes may not be a viable alternative. And no one is owed any private medical information.

This is what shoe covers are for. Also, an invitation is not a summons. You can decline invitations that don’t suit your circumstances.

If someone has difficulty removing their shoes then putting on shoe covers may be just as difficult. What an ableist point of view you have.

How did they get their shoes on?

DP. Have you really never known anyone who is disabled? This is such an obnoxious question. It might be eye opening for your to spend some time with some different people.