Mom Remarried- New Guy And Shoes

[Anonymous]

My widowed mom (66) married her bf of two years this September. He is a nice guy and we are happy mom is happy.

Thanksgiving is at her house. Hers, not his. This is the house we grew up in and my father died in.

Anyway, in a group text last night, amongst people announcng what theyre bringing and when they are arriving, he included:

"Don't forget, the house is now a shoeless house. Plesae take them off at the door!"

This can be ignored, right? I really don't want to bring it up with mom.

[Anonymous]

There is a Thanksgiving petty vent thread. You should post this there.

[Anonymous]

No, you can't ignore it. It's his house (and hers too now)-- but it's not yours and that's the key point. If it bothers you, bring slippers.

When your parent marries, you have to make compromises and accept changes. Welcome to being an adult stepchild!

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss, but I don't think that has much to do with whether you're allowed to wear shoes in the house. Was this a matter of particular importance to your father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you can't ignore it. It's his house (and hers too now)-- but it's not yours and that's the key point. If it bothers you, bring slippers.

When your parent marries, you have to make compromises and accept changes. Welcome to being an adult stepchild!

What? No, you do not have to accept changes. He can accept that people wear shoes in the house that they have been wearing shoes in for the last 4 decades!

[Anonymous]

ALL the people we are friends with have shoeless houses. None of them are Asian. We're the Asians in the group (also with a shoeless house).

Bring slippers, or warm socks, and be grateful your mother has good taste!

[Anonymous]

They are married. Please do not disrespect her or her new husband. Take your shoes off. It’s a lot easier to clean a shoeless house, and at their age after hosting a big get together it’s the least you can do to minimize their work.

[Anonymous]

You're unhappy that your childhood memories of your father in that house, with the lifestyle you grew up with, are replaced by a different man of the house who is not your father, and who is imposing his preferences, which are not your father's.

GET OVER IT.

[Anonymous]

This is so easy, bring good socks/slippers /only indoor shoes. I hate the idea of all the outdoor gross on my floors. Also not Asian, just do not like shoes

[Anonymous]

🍿🍿🍿

[Anonymous]

What are you going to do, walk in and if he reminds you to take off your shoes, tell him no to his face? Come on. That's not a good way to be. Why is it so important to you to wear shoes?

I think you are grieving for your father and for the changes in your family life, but it's not about the shoes.

[Anonymous]

Why would you ignore it, i.e., keep your shoes on?

What a weird thing to get worked up about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you can't ignore it. It's his house (and hers too now)-- but it's not yours and that's the key point. If it bothers you, bring slippers.

When your parent marries, you have to make compromises and accept changes. Welcome to being an adult stepchild!

What? No, you do not have to accept changes. He can accept that people wear shoes in the house that they have been wearing shoes in for the last 4 decades!

Ok, tell him "No, Bob, my deceased father let us wear shoes so we intend to wear shoes all the time for the rest of our lives, and if you don't like it too bad!!!" That will go over great.

PS it is his house too now because he married your mother. Even if he doesn't technically own it, it is his residence and you need to show some respect for that FACT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, you can't ignore it. It's his house (and hers too now)-- but it's not yours and that's the key point. If it bothers you, bring slippers.

When your parent marries, you have to make compromises and accept changes. Welcome to being an adult stepchild!

What? No, you do not have to accept changes. He can accept that people wear shoes in the house that they have been wearing shoes in for the last 4 decades!

Ok, tell him "No, Bob, my deceased father let us wear shoes so we intend to wear shoes all the time for the rest of our lives, and if you don't like it too bad!!!" That will go over great.

PS it is his house too now because he married your mother. Even if he doesn't technically own it, it is his residence and you need to show some respect for that FACT.

It’s still her mom’s house and her mom is allowed to say it’s now a shoeless house.

[Anonymous]

Wearing shoes in the house is very dirty and unhealthy.