Scared of getting married because of divorce horror stories

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

She must be dumb as hell too. I don’t know many hot as hell women agreeing to a prenup, they have plenty of options.

I don't know. To marry a guy that is already very wealthy( not just high income), and is decent looking, not easy to find even if you are hot.

But why would a hot person or any person want a wealthy person who is looking for an unpaid servant? Someone who does not want to give you any alimony but is proudly benefitting from your beauty, your youth, your fertility, your health, your womb, your flexibility etc is not a catch. The wealth loses most of its value.

Or is it because that person might give the money to your kids? That's a big might. If they are that selfish, similar parameters may attach to any wealth being passed down: your children may have to be highly loyal to him or get nothing. What marry this person?

Imagine that, even if she married a random plumber or electrician she would end up better off financially. With this man she will end up destitute in case of a divorce. And let’s be honest, each year she ages she is being evaluated for replacement.

First of all, most average Americans don't have conversations like this. Second, the women who would marry into this are interested in a certain lifestyle, which a wealthy man provides them. They will go along for the ride for as long as possible. They don't have much of anything to lose. They're better off than when they started. If you're a high value woman, you're going to marry a man close to your own age.

Look at Trump for example. His first wife and the mother of his first family, Ivanna, was way better than the Marla or Milannia.

I'm in my early 50s. For me it's no different. I'm a high value woman. I only date men my age or younger. I don't have to date a man Trump's age or sleep with a man old enough to be my father just for a handbag. Luckily, I don't care about haute couture, so there's that. It's just not important to me.

I wouldn't worry about it. Those types of women understand the arrangement. They know the score. They know what they're getting themselves into.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a rich guy I can tell you that most women I dated were ok with a prenup. I just had the balls to bring it up and not back down.

And you are still dating I presume….

Incorrect presumption. Married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well we married income peers. I wonder why you’re choosing to date someone so different than you.

. Because she is hot as hell! Same reason I married my wife who never had any income potential...I just got the prenup.

She must be dumb as hell too. I don’t know many hot as hell women agreeing to a prenup, they have plenty of options.

I don't know. To marry a guy that is already very wealthy( not just high income), and is decent looking, not easy to find even if you are hot.

But why would a hot person or any person want a wealthy person who is looking for an unpaid servant? Someone who does not want to give you any alimony but is proudly benefitting from your beauty, your youth, your fertility, your health, your womb, your flexibility etc is not a catch. The wealth loses most of its value.

Or is it because that person might give the money to your kids? That's a big might. If they are that selfish, similar parameters may attach to any wealth being passed down: your children may have to be highly loyal to him or get nothing. What marry this person?

Imagine that, even if she married a random plumber or electrician she would end up better off financially. With this man she will end up destitute in case of a divorce. And let’s be honest, each year she ages she is being evaluated for replacement.

First of all, most average Americans don't have conversations like this. Second, the women who would marry into this are interested in a certain lifestyle, which a wealthy man provides them. They will go along for the ride for as long as possible. They don't have much of anything to lose. They're better off than when they started. If you're a high value woman, you're going to marry a man close to your own age.

Look at Trump for example. His first wife and the mother of his first family, Ivanna, was way better than the Marla or Milannia.

I'm in my early 50s. For me it's no different. I'm a high value woman. I only date men my age or younger. I don't have to date a man Trump's age or sleep with a man old enough to be my father just for a handbag. Luckily, I don't care about haute couture, so there's that. It's just not important to me.

I wouldn't worry about it. Those types of women understand the arrangement. They know the score. They know what they're getting themselves into.

He is not a wealthy man, he is a wage slave concerned with being a bread winner. His gf will not get the lifestyle you lay out above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a rich guy I can tell you that most women I dated were ok with a prenup. I just had the balls to bring it up and not back down.

And you are still dating I presume….

Incorrect presumption. Married

Crazy, since you don’t want to be married.

[Anonymous]

Look at Michael J. Fox and his wife. He was stricken by Parkinson's Disease. His wife stayed with him. He had to change courses in his life.

OP marriage is in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, til death do you part. When you exchange those vows, you should be prepared for almost anything happening. That's what a commitment means.

If you can't make that commitment, then don't. Why not have a prenup that is fair to both husband and wife? Unless your wife cheats on you or abuses you in some way, you're both making the financial decisions for you to be the primary breadwinner. If you don't want that, then find a woman who will continue working.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I mean, you are banking half of your income on her, but she is banking ALL of her youth and beauty on you.
You both have a lot to lose in a divorce.

Oh, not to mention her ability to bear children. If she marries you and stays married long enough to get alimony, you are going to be the father of her children.
She’s putting everything she has on you being a good guy who will love her and take care of her.

This is a much bigger risk for the woman.

Right? OP is worried about losing half, but his girlfriend is putting everything she has on the line.

The internalized misogyny of this statement is breathtaking.

Yep, the womb ultimately goes to the highest bidder.

[Anonymous]

Please do not get married. Your attitude would ruin any union. Wanting to be alone and not expose yourself to financial and other kinds of risk is totally fine. You simply need to remain single.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:What’s the attraction to a woman who makes only 1/10 your income? I suspect that’s not the only imbalance. Question why you want to be with someone who is okay with this imbalance. Question why you are okay with this imbalance.

I think your whole relationship is a red flag: she’s presumable less educated than you, statistically she is less intelligent than you, less driven. What’s the connection?

So a person's income is part of "attraction" in your mind. Got it. And anyone who doesn't make a certain income level is presumed to be less intelligent, less educated and less driven.

PP, you won't believe this because you are surely certain your experience and values are The Only Way, but your life experience of different types of people, with careers and values different from your own, is extremely limited. How sad for you. But you're probably in an echo chamber of like-minded people who will only associate with those in their income bracket and who live on assumptions that those not in particular fields are not driven, intelligent or educated, because you associate those qualities only with income levels. Enjoy the bubble.

No that’s not what I said. I said that with a low income comes other statistically likely things. Someone making $500k is stistcically more likely to be intelligent, well educated and driven than someone making $50k. It’s so statistically likely that I think it’s safe to assume ops gf is all those things unless he tells us otherwise. I think all of those things are red flags. Not the lack of income by itself, but all the correlating features that are probably true here.

Also, any woman who is 27 and making $50k (again, making some assumptions here) is well, not super financially responsible. Instead of putting in their own hard work to guarantee a financial future, their plan is to (hopefully) find a man and let him do the hard work. You can build a financially stable life on $50k. So yeah that’s another huge red flag: overall irresponsibility.

What if she is a school teacher at a private school? They are probably high IQ, but not well off.

Any super bright woman making $50k as a private school teacher is 100% banking on meeting and marrying a rich dude. That's not an income you can plan a life around.

Hence, totally financially irresponsible and not planning ahead.

You offered a great example to prove my point.

[Anonymous]

These idealized views of marriage are quaint. You can legally protect yourself and determine the terms of the marriage contract in every state with a prenup. If you are ok leaving yourself exposed, your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These idealized views of marriage are quaint. You can legally protect yourself and determine the terms of the marriage contract in every state with a prenup. If you are ok leaving yourself exposed, your choice.

Marriage is quaint, you idiot. Just don’t do it. There is literally no reason to. Just date other high earners and live your separate lives.

And dont give me any “but i want kids” drama. You don’t. Too much of a financial hit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at Michael J. Fox and his wife. He was stricken by Parkinson's Disease. His wife stayed with him. He had to change courses in his life.

OP marriage is in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, til death do you part. When you exchange those vows, you should be prepared for almost anything happening. That's what a commitment means.

If you can't make that commitment, then don't. Why not have a prenup that is fair to both husband and wife? Unless your wife cheats on you or abuses you in some way, you're both making the financial decisions for you to be the primary breadwinner. If you don't want that, then find a woman who will continue working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you are banking half of your income on her, but she is banking ALL of her youth and beauty on you.
You both have a lot to lose in a divorce.

Oh, not to mention her ability to bear children. If she marries you and stays married long enough to get alimony, you are going to be the father of her children.
She’s putting everything she has on you being a good guy who will love her and take care of her.

This is a much bigger risk for the woman.

Right? OP is worried about losing half, but his girlfriend is putting everything she has on the line.

The internalized misogyny of this statement is breathtaking.

Yep, the womb ultimately goes to the highest bidder.

Because beauty and breeding are the only values women possess, apparently.

[Anonymous]

A pre nup is not necessarily, "sign this document that protects ME and all MY assets or I won't marry you". It's, let's have a friendly and reasonable conversation today which outlines, should our marriage ever end, how we BOTH will be protected." Obviously she'd be a fool to just sign something that lets you keep everything if you cheat and dump her in 20 years or whatever. And your desire to protect your assets is also reasonable. See a lawyer who may have ideas on how to proceed.

[Anonymous]

Why even exist? You can just kill yourself now.

If you die, you won't need sex or a mate or a kid or a handbag or a house or a car or travel or any of that stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you are banking half of your income on her, but she is banking ALL of her youth and beauty on you.
You both have a lot to lose in a divorce.

Oh, not to mention her ability to bear children. If she marries you and stays married long enough to get alimony, you are going to be the father of her children.
She’s putting everything she has on you being a good guy who will love her and take care of her.

This is a much bigger risk for the woman.

Right? OP is worried about losing half, but his girlfriend is putting everything she has on the line.

The internalized misogyny of this statement is breathtaking.

Yep, the womb ultimately goes to the highest bidder.

Because beauty and breeding are the only values women possess, apparently.

What values are important in a mate that aren't needed in a friend? I have many friends with many virtues, but that's not a reason to marry any of them.