Insisting that DC's college be within driving distance...reasonable or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We never went to parents weekend.
Work is always busy at that time and it was easier to save the $$. Not a big deal, my kid didn’t mind. We are obviously going for graduation, 4 years go by fast. I say let the kid go where they want but make sure they understand the logistical hurdles.

are they ok with not coming back home during Thanksgiving, Xmas, summer breaks? That's flight cost 3 round trips during the most expensive seasons for airfare.

[Anonymous]

My DS went to W&M and I live a 7 hour drive away. To pick him up, I had to time the traffic (PITA) and have an overnight stay. We did fly him home a few times which involved a layover and the holiday craziness. Flying time ended up taking more than the 7 hour drive. One point some of you haven’t mentioned is you need to be booking Thanksgiving and Christmas flights soon(if not already). Your child hasn’t met their prof or received a syllabus, so it’s difficult to choose a flight. Certainly you can use the school calendar, but the week before break, your student will tell you the end of day prof has cancelled class, but you are stuck with the flight you booked. Not insurmountable, but tedious. Also, lots of schools will say they have transportation to the airport, but that schedule is never released until November,

[Anonymous]

College far away increases chance of career and grandchildren far away, which adds a lot of strain to family (unless they are already estranged and the child wants to escape).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be willing to bet that after driving 7 hours each way a few times (gas + one night in a hotel) OP would find that a plane ticket to Madison is a better value for the time and money. And if OP can afford 59kyr, it's hard to wonder why a minor difference in cost would be a significant factor here.

I can afford $35k but not $40k per year. A few extra thousand will be a determining factor. It is for most people.

Is this OP? What specific schools are on the table that are only 35k/yr (are you merit hunting)? U Wisconsin and Indiana U seem unlikely to be affordable. Consider that asking for suggestions that might help resolve the conflict on cost by factoring that in. Preferred size, geographic location, and your kid's stats would be helpful to know for posters offering recommendations.

Note that, as someone may have mentioned above, a direct flight may be easier and cheaper than trying to get to a location with a smaller airport - it varies. (Playing around with expedia to get an idea of typical prices might be worthwhile.)

No, it isn't OP. I was pointing out to the PP who doesn't seem to comprehend that most people have financial limits so a few extra thousand dollars might be a very good reason not to pursue something that far. A couple of flights per year can add up especially during holiday times.

If OP wants to limit the cost that much, then OP should be talking about schools that are within a day's drive round trip. 6-7 hours is too far. 2-3 hours would be more reasonable.

Travel cost is a fairly small item in the total cost of attendance for those paying sticker. A cost discussion about travel alone is missing the forest for the trees. Merit scholarships and need-based aid should be the focus of OP's question, with travel cost being one small consideration in that much larger picture.

2-3 hour radius is really limiting, even in the DC area.

[Anonymous]

There are tons of choices within 2-3 hrs. It would be different if you were telling about Kansas but we’re not.

[Anonymous]

I think you can absolutely set a reasonable budget for college. Everyone should. If your DC already has medical concerns then those should be factored into college decisions. However, if the later doesn’t exist I’m not sure why the distance matters unless it matters to your DC. If your DC goes far away to school, no one should expect for them to come home often nor expect for you and the family to come visit. If an emergency arises you deal with that then but you don’t plan college attendance on the what if of college emergencies. I and many people I know went 10hrs or more away to school. We never expected to see our parents during the year, in fact that was the part of the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS went to W&M and I live a 7 hour drive away. To pick him up, I had to time the traffic (PITA) and have an overnight stay. We did fly him home a few times which involved a layover and the holiday craziness. Flying time ended up taking more than the 7 hour drive. One point some of you haven’t mentioned is you need to be booking Thanksgiving and Christmas flights soon(if not already). Your child hasn’t met their prof or received a syllabus, so it’s difficult to choose a flight. Certainly you can use the school calendar, but the week before break, your student will tell you the end of day prof has cancelled class, but you are stuck with the flight you booked. Not insurmountable, but tedious. Also, lots of schools will say they have transportation to the airport, but that schedule is never released until November,

All of this sounds like things college students can and should handle. Professor cancelled classes, great see if you can get on standby on an earlier flight or just hangout relaxing until the time you were suppose to leave. Airport transportation=Friends, Uber, airport shuttle, cab, bus, train etc. College is the time for people to learn and practice being an independent adult. Let them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never went to parents weekend.
Work is always busy at that time and it was easier to save the $$. Not a big deal, my kid didn’t mind. We are obviously going for graduation, 4 years go by fast. I say let the kid go where they want but make sure they understand the logistical hurdles.

are they ok with not coming back home during Thanksgiving, Xmas, summer breaks? That's flight cost 3 round trips during the most expensive seasons for airfare.

I’ll give you Christmas and Thanksgiving are expensive times to fly but it’s not hard to find affordable flights for Christmas, particularly if you can travel on lower traffic days, which of course college kids can

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have asked that our DC choose a college within driving distance (6-7 hours). One, we just want to be able to get to her college at the drop of a hat in case of an emergency. We think it would also mean we'd see her, and she'd have the ability to come home, more often. And finally, there is the cost. We just can't afford air fare back and forth for DC on a regular basis, let alone my DH, me and sibling.

Thoughts? DC isn't pushing for the west coast, but certainly the midwest (like Indiana/Wisconsin) or the SEC schools.

There are lots of advantages in going to a college few hours away from home and but within drivable distance, more so if there is a bus or train service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it’s fully reasonable. DCUM is not at all representative of most parents.

I agree! Totally reasonable.

[Anonymous]

So many kids I know got to UMD, Georgetown,GWU. And we are in the DMV! For whatever reason! They got lower cost, admission to top school. Many dont have the funds to go far or to fly back and forth. I know folks who are happy kids go close to home because they are going to GOOD schools and if something DOES happen or the kids need something, the parent is there! Jeez.

5 to 7 hours is a nice distance to me. There are so many schools.

Don’t listen to half of the people on these boards.

[Anonymous]

My kid is going to school in Pittsburgh. It’s not close. It’s 3 to 4 hours away and it’s a tiring drive. Oof

[Anonymous]

That was our parent's rule because we couldn't afford airfare.

We didn't have that rule for our kids, but after flying to see a bunch of schools, they both said they want to be able to drive to and from school, or at least take a convenient train.

Whether it is reasonable depends on your reason, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is going to school in Pittsburgh. It’s not close. It’s 3 to 4 hours away and it’s a tiring drive. Oof

I've been doing that drive for over 30 years. That is an easy drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never went to parents weekend.
Work is always busy at that time and it was easier to save the $$. Not a big deal, my kid didn’t mind. We are obviously going for graduation, 4 years go by fast. I say let the kid go where they want but make sure they understand the logistical hurdles.

are they ok with not coming back home during Thanksgiving, Xmas, summer breaks? That's flight cost 3 round trips during the most expensive seasons for airfare.

I’ll give you Christmas and Thanksgiving are expensive times to fly but it’s not hard to find affordable flights for Christmas, particularly if you can travel on lower traffic days, which of course college kids can

Add the cost of shipping all their stuff several times a year or paying to store it in the college town.