Getting Divorced. People Say “I’m sorry.” Why?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry it didn’t work out. But if he’s an abusive narcissist then I’m happy for you.

[Anonymous]

Sorry things didn't work out. Sorry things didn't go as planned.

I agree that many people are better off post-divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You defensive divorced people are really something else. We were there, people! We were there at your wedding and heard your vows. You asked for our support, and we gave it. Good for you for getting out if divorce was for the best, and good for your kids if that is really for the best for them. But don’t act like that wasn’t you up there making vows and inviting us to witness them and celebrate you. Good for your future, but don’t try to gaslight us that the past didn’t happen.

All of this!!!

[Anonymous]

Do you have kids? Because divorce is sad. Duh.

[Anonymous]

“Sorry I spent my money buying you a wedding gift and going to your shower”

[Anonymous]

I’ll say I’m sorry for saying the “wrong thing” if you say you’re sorry for wasting my time, money and energy on airfare, hotel, shower gift, wedding gift, attire, bachelorette party…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because at some point, you loved him enough to marry him. Perhaps you made a big mistake; that is reason enough to say "I'm sorry."

A divorce is never pain/ hassle/ cost-free, no matter how much you want it, that's another reason to say "I'm sorry."

And if there are children involved, you have wrecked their lives. That's what most of us are expressing sorrow for.

+1.

This forum needs to stop with the whole divorce wrecks kids lives / shatters them / rips their world apart. Seriously just stop. I’m the child of a divorced couple. My dad was awful and my mom made the right decision to leave and I was just fine with everything. And here I am sitting in my beautiful house with an awesome career and a fantastic husband and kids of my own, so I turned out just fine.

I'm glad things worked out for you, but your situation is in no way universal, or even particularly common. Many divorces occur not because one person was "awful" and the other made the "right decision to leave." Most people can see and understand that. What is far more troubling is marriages that dissolve because one person is bored, or "not in love anymore," or has "outgrown their spouse," etc etc. It is those children in particular who suffer terribly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because at some point, you loved him enough to marry him. Perhaps you made a big mistake; that is reason enough to say "I'm sorry."

A divorce is never pain/ hassle/ cost-free, no matter how much you want it, that's another reason to say "I'm sorry."

And if there are children involved, you have wrecked their lives. That's what most of us are expressing sorrow for.

I’m the child of divorcees. My parents divorce did not wreck my life. You sound pathetic.

[Anonymous]

This is a little off track...but when my kid was little and told her friends she was adopted, they always said "I'm sorry."

That really confused her (because it implies that what she just shared is a bad/sad thing). She did not experience the way she came into our family that way.

[Anonymous]

I think I’m starting to realize why all of these morons are divorced. 🤔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting divorced. When I tell people this they say, “I’m so sorry.” But honestly, I don’t feel bad. This is the best decision I have made since marrying my STBX. My life is going to be so much more peaceful than it has been in years. No more putting up with narcissistic/borderline abuse. Just want it done. I don’t anyone to feel sorry for me. Why do people say they that?

Because your marriage FAILED.

[Anonymous]

Op, Thank you for starting this thread.

All divorces are not bad. I’ve never understood saying “I’m sorry.” either…

All good things must come to an end and nothing last forever.

This topic makes a good discussion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, because you stood up in front of us and made vows to one another that you failed to keep? I’m sorry for your failure, just as I would be sorry if you failed to get into the college you wanted, or you to make the Olympic team and had been training for it, or failed the bar exam, or failed to get a job you wanted, or failed to get the house you wanted. You let it be known that you wanted something and failed to achieve it, so…I’m sorry.

Failure happens, and it’s part of life. I’m sorry—I’ve been through failure and I know what it’s like. You have my sympathy.

what? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting divorced. When I tell people this they say, “I’m so sorry.” But honestly, I don’t feel bad. This is the best decision I have made since marrying my STBX. My life is going to be so much more peaceful than it has been in years. No more putting up with narcissistic/borderline abuse. Just want it done. I don’t anyone to feel sorry for me. Why do people say they that?

I get what you are saying OP, I really do.

I think what people are intending to convey, (and what I would say) simply is (without judgement)

I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I want you to know I support you and I still love you anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m getting divorced. When I tell people this they say, “I’m so sorry.” But honestly, I don’t feel bad. This is the best decision I have made since marrying my STBX. My life is going to be so much more peaceful than it has been in years. No more putting up with narcissistic/borderline abuse. Just want it done. I don’t anyone to feel sorry for me. Why do people say they that?

I get what you are saying OP, I really do.

I think what people are intending to convey, (and what I would say) simply is (without judgement)

I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I want you to know I support you and I still love you anyway.

Oh. Puh- leese.