How upset would you be? Close friend missing my DD's wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I'm sure she didn't RSVP because she couldn't bring herself to mark no - but also knew there was no realistic way to mark yes. Yes of course it would have been better to respond, but haven't you ever been in that position?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were both in the wrong but your behavior was considerably worse than hers. Her mistake was not sending her RSVP in a timely manner. That's it.

She was clearly very torn about what to do and didn't want to disappoint you. I cannot believe you continually badgered and guilted her and even made comments about how her decision was proof of how meaningful the friendship is or isn't to her.

You owe her a big apology. The sooner the better. You put her in a terribly awkward position and all of her back-and-forth was a result of that.

I agree with this. She should have RSVP'ed when she knew the conflict. But she INTRODUCED the other couple for crying out loud. That's a great wedding to go. Of course she wants to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I didn't have a father daughter dance at my wedding. Hell, we didn't even have a first dance between ourselves. Get over your antiquated traditions, this wedding is about the bride and groom, not their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

This is not a requirement. You seem to think all weddings are alike—they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I'm sure she didn't RSVP because she couldn't bring herself to mark no - but also knew there was no realistic way to mark yes. Yes of course it would have been better to respond, but haven't you ever been in that position?

No! I'm honest with my friends, and there is no WAY I would mess around and be flaky about something as important as a child's wedding. I cannot believe this woman did this to OP. A child's wedding is a huge deal. It's emotional. It's bitter sweet. A mom needs support and needs to feel like her friends are there for her. I would be very disappointed that my close friend chose to go to another wedding. I would be infuriated if she handled it as poorly as this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

This is not a requirement. You seem to think all weddings are alike—they are not.

You seem to think that OP's daughter's wedding is a weekend frolic at Chucky Cheese that people can just ignore on a whim. Of course it's not a requirement, but stop trying to downplay the importance of a child's wedding to a parent. Good grief the gaslighting on this thread is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

This is not a requirement. You seem to think all weddings are alike—they are not.

You seem to think that OP's daughter's wedding is a weekend frolic at Chucky Cheese that people can just ignore on a whim. Of course it's not a requirement, but stop trying to downplay the importance of a child's wedding to a parent. Good grief the gaslighting on this thread is ridiculous.

A difference of opinion is not gaslighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

Is this Op sock puppet^^^??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

Is this Op sock puppet^^^??

Nope. Just someone with manners and common sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I'm sure she didn't RSVP because she couldn't bring herself to mark no - but also knew there was no realistic way to mark yes. Yes of course it would have been better to respond, but haven't you ever been in that position?

No! I'm honest with my friends, and there is no WAY I would mess around and be flaky about something as important as a child's wedding. I cannot believe this woman did this to OP. A child's wedding is a huge deal. It's emotional. It's bitter sweet. A mom needs support and needs to feel like her friends are there for her. I would be very disappointed that my close friend chose to go to another wedding. I would be infuriated if she handled it as poorly as this.

op had her three other 'deer' friends. Sue probably knew op would react this way and wanted to avoid that. Of course she should have said no right away but, as you can see op badgered her relentlessly until she felt that she had to say no even when she couldn't go! I would say if the dd had died than the op needed moral support but, not a marriage!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I'm sure she didn't RSVP because she couldn't bring herself to mark no - but also knew there was no realistic way to mark yes. Yes of course it would have been better to respond, but haven't you ever been in that position?

No! I'm honest with my friends, and there is no WAY I would mess around and be flaky about something as important as a child's wedding. I cannot believe this woman did this to OP. A child's wedding is a huge deal. It's emotional. It's bitter sweet. A mom needs support and needs to feel like her friends are there for her. I would be very disappointed that my close friend chose to go to another wedding. I would be infuriated if she handled it as poorly as this.

op had her three other 'deer' friends. Sue probably knew op would react this way and wanted to avoid that. Of course she should have said no right away but, as you can see op badgered her relentlessly until she felt that she had to say no even when she couldn't go! I would say if the dd had died than the op needed moral support but, not a marriage!

meant dear, of course!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I'm sure she didn't RSVP because she couldn't bring herself to mark no - but also knew there was no realistic way to mark yes. Yes of course it would have been better to respond, but haven't you ever been in that position?

No! I'm honest with my friends, and there is no WAY I would mess around and be flaky about something as important as a child's wedding. I cannot believe this woman did this to OP. A child's wedding is a huge deal. It's emotional. It's bitter sweet. A mom needs support and needs to feel like her friends are there for her. I would be very disappointed that my close friend chose to go to another wedding. I would be infuriated if she handled it as poorly as this.

op had her three other 'deer' friends. Sue probably knew op would react this way and wanted to avoid that. Of course she should have said no right away but, as you can see op badgered her relentlessly until she felt that she had to say no even when she couldn't go! I would say if the dd had died than the op needed moral support but, not a marriage!

meant dear, of course!

The OP checked on the RSVP, said she was disappointed in the decision (which she has every right to be based on the description of the friendship), and then responded to one more text from the friend. How is that badgering?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a little surprised that everyone is siding with the friend, who I think behaved very poorly and immaturely. OP only invited these four friends, to a huge event in OP’s life - yes, it’s the DD’s wedding, but it’s not like OP is just a guest at it. She and DH are likely hosting and it’s a milestone event for OP, too, so it’s totally understandable that she would hope her friend recognizes that. I think it’s fair that OP conveyed her disappointment to her friend at the point of the initial conversation - which never should have had taken place in that way because the friend should have broached the subject long before. I think the friend initiating the conversation as soon as she was aware of the conflict and explaining things well would have gone a very long way toward OP feeling much differently about both this situation and her friend.

+1 I am so confused by these people who are like this is no big deal; you're over-reacting.

It's understandable to be disappointed, but why is it so hard to understand that Sue has a conflict and cannot attend?

The way the friend handled it was abysmal. She obviously knew it was a big deal for OP. Everyone needs to stop it with the "It's not your day..." comments. It's her daughter and it IS a big deal. Have you never been to a wedding? The parents of the bride are a huge part of the wedding - so much so that I didn't even want a wedding because my mother died and couldn't be there. The dad has a whole freakin dance with the bride! Anyway, the friend got the invite and didn't RSVP, which is so rude I can't even. In any case, if a close friend of the family did that to me, I would assume that she's coming! I'm impressed that OP even checked with her just to make sure! This whole thing is so infuriating. The stupid friend should have given her regrets in person before she RSVP'd no and smoothed this over. Then maybe OP wouldn't be so upset. Good grief, people. This lady's daughter is getting married and one of her closest friends is being rude and inconsiderate.

I'm sure she didn't RSVP because she couldn't bring herself to mark no - but also knew there was no realistic way to mark yes. Yes of course it would have been better to respond, but haven't you ever been in that position?

No! I'm honest with my friends, and there is no WAY I would mess around and be flaky about something as important as a child's wedding. I cannot believe this woman did this to OP. A child's wedding is a huge deal. It's emotional. It's bitter sweet. A mom needs support and needs to feel like her friends are there for her. I would be very disappointed that my close friend chose to go to another wedding. I would be infuriated if she handled it as poorly as this.

op had her three other 'deer' friends. Sue probably knew op would react this way and wanted to avoid that. Of course she should have said no right away but, as you can see op badgered her relentlessly until she felt that she had to say no even when she couldn't go! I would say if the dd had died than the op needed moral support but, not a marriage!

meant dear, of course!

The OP checked on the RSVP, said she was disappointed in the decision (which she has every right to be based on the description of the friendship), and then responded to one more text from the friend. How is that badgering?

Come on, read the OP. The friend was practically begging OP to tell her it was all right if she missed the daughter's wedding so she could go to the other wedding of the couple she set up. OP refused to do it - and wouldn't even accept when Sue was only coming to part of her daughter's wedding so she could make part of the other couple's; OP still gave her a hard time. We can all understand why, but it wasn't really great behavior on OP's part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You badgered into agreeing to go (“making sure this was something she wanted to do” when it was glaringly obvious she preferred not to) and then when she had a breather/talk with her husband she realized she wanted to stand firm. Obviously she handled it badly but so did you. She’s friends with you, not your daughter. The other couple is someone she actually knows and feels connected to. I predict your friendship won’t recover but honestly you both behaved poorly.

I see that. She did say the other person is a peer. This is an important day of my life (though it's my DD's wedding), and the *only* friends I'm inviting are these 4 women and their SOs. It's a small wedding. My DD babysit for Sue's kids for a few years.

I also don't see how our friendship will recover. I hear what you're saying and appreciate the gut check.

This is over the top, op.

Disagree.

OP, I would be hurt and pissed too. Would I get over it and move to with a friendship with Sue as part of this group? Probably, because it's easier than being a drama queen and causing confrontations and problems with the other friends. BUT I would never forget it and I would assume that in the future, Sue can't be counted on when the chips are down. Some people are just like that. You know now where you stand and that's OK, but forget this.

[Anonymous]

^^ sorry, meant to type "you'll never forget this."