I hate having friends’ kids over
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Anonymous
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I agree OP. I have 2 boys under 10 and I think they are wild and noisy . . . Until I have other people’s kids in my house.
There are a few families I just don’t invite any more because every time they visit something gets broken or someone gets hurt. These kids find ways to cause trouble that I’ve never considered I need a rule for. We have very few explicit rules that seems pretty obvious- no shoes on the couch, no eating in the living room. Eating in the family room / kids rec room is allowed when we have company. However other people’s kids make me have to declare things like: Don’t draw on the house with sidewalk chalk Don’t slam the glass front door / play games where running in and out is the game. Don’t hang on / climb up the curtains Don’t stand on the couch Don’t slam landscaping river stones on my retaining wall to crack them open Don’t open my pantry and pull out foods and eat them without asking Don’t walk up to my house plants and break off leaves or branches These are not toddlers. These are kindergarten- 3rd grade kids. Their parents seem normal and not overly permissive. These kids do not live in homes where things are broken and treated as disposable. I have no idea why they think it’s ok to act this way at my home when I doubt they act like this at their home. |
Anonymous
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My sister’s kids are like this and it is such a shame. My sister is so lazy, and gets stoned all the time so she just never really parents them and now we are seeing the fruits of her labor (or lack thereof).
They have no discipline, break things, go through everything, touch everything, take a bit out of everything, never clean up, scream all day, fight (verbally and physically), are mean to my dog, throw things, try to physically hurt each other, scream obscenities, destroy everything. They’re 9 and 7. Every time we are with them my sister just plops in a chair and gets on her phone, doesn’t feed them, tell them to stop, do anything, from the time she gets up until she goes to bed. I refuse to vacation with them anymore. I feel for these kids but I can’t do it anymore. My kids don’t want to be around them either. Sure, some kids are naturally a handful but parenting plays a huge role here. |
Anonymous
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I am a parent with an only and I absolutely feel this way. I'm always a little amazed by the behavior other parents will tolerate, or even find amusing, from their kids in other people's houses (or in restaurants, on planes, and in other public spaces). I'm also always amazed how simply adding one kid to a family makes the dynamic so much more chaotic.
We still invite over friends with multiple kids because we love them and can handle it. But it also makes me feel good about our choice to have one. And there's nothing better than inviting over friends who also have one mellow kid -- our children play together and are generally very well behaved, and enjoy having a playmate for the day or evening when they are very used to having to entertain themselves or keep company with grown ups, and we get to socialize and enjoy adult company without the usual imperative to engage our only children since they don't have siblings. Not judging people who have more kids -- god bless you. It's not for me, though, and this is never more apparent to me than when a family with 2-4 kids comes to visit and I feel an intense sense of relief (and the thrill of silence) when they walk out the door at the end of the visit. |
Anonymous
Yes! We don't have a ton of rules in our house because we've generally instilled good behavior and our kids know to check in with an adult before doing something that might be a problem. Like my kids would NEVER just grab food at someone else's house without asking us or the hosts if they could have some. They do not move or climb on furniture. They generally don't even play with items that are obviously toys without explicitly being told they can do so or asking first. Of course they do these things at our house, but they understand someone else's house is different and they know to be more careful and thoughtful when they are guests. It's not that my kids never misbehave (they have their moments), it's just that they generally save their misbehavior for home, or the car ride home, where they can safely let loose. I'll also note that if one of my kids was clearly at the end of their rope during a visit with other people, I start noticing pretty quickly and will either do a quick repair that might buy us some time (I'm the mom who always has a couple tricks in my purse, whether it's a snack that will curb a blood sugar crash or an item I know will engage them for 30 minutes or a forgotten toy they will suddenly be anxious to show to their friends), or I will cut a visit short so that the true meltdown happens when we are alone with just our family. But this is rarely necessary -- my kids don't show up to playdates or parties starving, exhausted, or pissed off from some earlier catastrophe. |
Anonymous
To these I will add: Don't draw on the sofa, our markers will draw on anything, not just "special" paper. Don't jump from sofa to table and back. Don't try to ride the dogs, poke the dogs, or get them to bark. For God's sake, we have two Rottweilers who are incredibly friendly and family oriented, but what kind of insane parent would let their 6 yr old jump on a 125 lb dog that they don't know that well??? (The dog just grunted. I was the one who snarled) |
Anonymous
Excuse me? The rules are the same. Every place should have the same rules - you don't act like an animal, don't scream, don't go through people's stuff, say hello, thank you and please, look people in the eye and answer questions politely, don't run around spreading food around the house and leaving your handprints on all the walls. If you didn't teach your kids to eat properly with utensils and they eat with their hands, at least teach them to wash their hands. Don't interrupt their parents in the middle of a sentence. I can go on and on. These are just basic rules of being civil. |
Anonymous
| I don’t understand why you keep putting yourself in this situation. Needed some dcum content or what? |
Anonymous
| I'm fairly certain OP is the one who has also "Given Up" and is concerned about their son "using the word Opp". |
Anonymous
| So much sockpuppeting in this thread |
Anonymous
+1. The people who say this are the lazy parents who have Those Kids. |
Anonymous
Hahahaha absolutely not. |
Anonymous
If only they had PARENTS. |
Anonymous
100%. These folks will also look at other people's well behaved children and either assume they "got lucky" with chill personalities or convince themselves that their kids are terrors at home. It is not the case. I have one kid whose oldest has become an absolute jerk as he approaches his tween years and she is constantly blaming it on the age. When he comes over to our house he regularly insults it or us, complaining that our house is too small or there is not enough to do (our house is small but they don't have to come, and we put out food and games and other kids seem to have a fun time despite the close quarters). He once said one of our kids was boring to our faces (the child in question is 4 years younger than him and probably seems boring to him, but he's old enough to understand that this is not an appropriate thing to say to people who are hosting you and feeding you and have been nothing but pleasant to you). We know lots of kids in this age group and none of them act like this. She's raising a spoiled brat and I think deep down she knows it, but when he does this stuff, she just rolls her eyes and is like "10 year olds! They're all like this." No. They are not. |
Anonymous
Too damn bad. |
Anonymous
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Jumping on beds is crazy, why are they in the bedrooms? A 3y/o touching a wall with his hands is not (imo) a terrible ill behaved child.
Personally, I think OP is exaggerating for effect. If not, she should stop inviting the families over with the kids. It really is that simple. |