Reply to I hate having friends’ kids over

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I agree OP. I have 2 boys under 10 and I think they are wild and noisy . . . Until I have other people’s kids in my house.

There are a few families I just don’t invite any more because every time they visit something gets broken or someone gets hurt. These kids find ways to cause trouble that I’ve never considered I need a rule for. We have very few explicit rules that seems pretty obvious- no shoes on the couch, no eating in the living room. Eating in the family room / kids rec room is allowed when we have company.

However other people’s kids make me have to declare things like:
Don’t draw on the house with sidewalk chalk
Don’t slam the glass front door / play games where running in and out is the game. 
Don’t hang on / climb up the curtains
Don’t stand on the couch
Don’t slam landscaping river stones on my retaining wall to crack them open
Don’t open my pantry and pull out foods and eat them without asking
Don’t walk up to my house plants and break off leaves or branches

These are not toddlers. These are kindergarten- 3rd grade kids. Their parents seem normal and not overly permissive. These kids do not live in homes where things are broken and treated as disposable. I have no idea why they think it’s ok to act this way at my home when I doubt they act like this at their home. [/quote]

Yes! We don't have a ton of rules in our house because we've generally instilled good behavior and our kids know to check in with an adult before doing something that might be a problem. Like my kids would NEVER just grab food at someone else's house without asking us or the hosts if they could have some. They do not move or climb on furniture. They generally don't even play with items that are obviously toys without explicitly being told they can do so or asking first. Of course they do these things at our house, but they understand someone else's house is different and they know to be more careful and thoughtful when they are guests.

It's not that my kids never misbehave (they have their moments), it's just that they generally save their misbehavior for home, or the car ride home, where they can safely let loose. I'll also note that if one of my kids was clearly at the end of their rope during a visit with other people, I start noticing pretty quickly and will either do a quick repair that might buy us some time (I'm the mom who always has a couple tricks in my purse, whether it's a snack that will curb a blood sugar crash or an item I know will engage them for 30 minutes or a forgotten toy they will suddenly be anxious to show to their friends), or I will cut a visit short so that the true meltdown happens when we are alone with just our family. But this is rarely necessary -- my kids don't show up to playdates or parties starving, exhausted, or pissed off from some earlier catastrophe.[/quote]

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