I hate having friends’ kids over

[Anonymous]

5 kids under 12 all in a new place together where they may not know the rules is likely to be a handful no matter what, especially if a good amount of them are on the lower side of the age range you gave and are 3 or 4. A 10y/o shouldn’t have issues but a 3 y/o will likely need to be supervised the entire time if they are in rooms with breakable, expensive items and there isnt a dedicated play space.

I agree with previous posters that you should meet at a park. It will likely be more enjoyable for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Its not even about expensive or breakable stuff.

Its about potential lawsuits.

Run, OP.

[Anonymous]

Stop inviting them over to your house. Meet up at parks or public places.

If they ever are at your House then use your voice and tell them to stop jumping on the furniture, tell them to be gentle with the toys. Don’t be afraid to speak up because you’ll end up resentful for when they do things like breaking toys. If they don’t listen to you then tell the parents to please speak to them because they’re not listening to you and you’d like them to stop jumping on the furniture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop inviting them over to your house. Meet up at parks or public places.

If they ever are at your House then use your voice and tell them to stop jumping on the furniture, tell them to be gentle with the toys. Don’t be afraid to speak up because you’ll end up resentful for when they do things like breaking toys. If they don’t listen to you then tell the parents to please speak to them because they’re not listening to you and you’d like them to stop jumping on the furniture.

If their kids are wild enough, those parents are likely not the most receptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you set them up for failure? Are there things that they can play with - something for a large age range (legos, magnatiles, wherever).

Just out on a movie (made for all ages like Minions, Encanto, whatever) works too.

+1 Did you do anything to prepare for 5 kids under the age of 12, or were you really expecting them all to sit and quietly read a book the whole time?

I’m curious about this, too. And also curious what the ages of the kids are. You said 3-12…is the 12 year old yours and then the other 4 are preschoolers? Because a team of 4 bored preschoolers in your home is not exactly a chill scenario.

[Anonymous]

My kids are not like this. You need better friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are not like this. You need better friends.

Some parents are attentive, some parents are lazy.

OP, find parents more like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- I hate parents like this. My boss is friends with a sahm and the kids are like wild animals. When the sahm comes over, she expects free childcare and just walks away. I bring her kids right back to her, and inform her that this house has an unfenced pool, and I’m not able to supervise her kids (who won’t listen) outside. Every time she looks so shocked, because the first time she did come over, she successfully dumped her brats on me, and I told myself no ma’am, never again. I don’t understand parents who allow their kids to jump on couches, run and scream in other peoples homes, and just behave terribly in other peoples homes. Makes me wonder what they do all day, staying home, when I’m a nanny 60 hours a week and in the past 25 years none of my nanny kids have acted like that.

How do you know how the kids act when they’re out with their parents on weekends? Lots of parents who work 60+ hours a week have no idea how to manage their own children when the nanny’s not there. And lots of sahps are so inured to their kids’ behavior that they might not think anything of it when out and about. Parents of all stripes have poorly behaved kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Both moms are stay at home moms. So it can’t be justified with working full time.

They want a break and they see coming to your place as a break. It’s annoying when other people’s kids misbehave. If their parents won’t call them out, then you can do it in a nice way.”Hey, guys, we don’t jump on the couch at our house” etc.

I’m a sahm to young kids and the last thing going to a friends nice home is is a break. I feel like I’m constantly following them around reminding them not to touch this or that or pick up this or go near that because it’s breakable etc. etc. etc. the whole time we are there. It requires a lot of supervision and getting back home where there aren’t fragile items all over the place and I’m not internally freaking out that they will spill their juice box is a relief. That said, they are both younger than the kids mentioned in this thread and it’s my hope that at some point I won’t need to be stuck to them like glue in the same way.

How old are these kids? And are their parents just not saying anything at all when they do these things? Have you ever said anything? Do they have a dedicated room they are supposed to be playing in? Why do you keep inviting them over? I don’t understand how any of this is going down. Personally, I’ve spent time with well behaved kids and less than well behaved kids but I have not had anything comparable to what you’re describing happenen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here- I hate parents like this. My boss is friends with a sahm and the kids are like wild animals. When the sahm comes over, she expects free childcare and just walks away. I bring her kids right back to her, and inform her that this house has an unfenced pool, and I’m not able to supervise her kids (who won’t listen) outside. Every time she looks so shocked, because the first time she did come over, she successfully dumped her brats on me, and I told myself no ma’am, never again. I don’t understand parents who allow their kids to jump on couches, run and scream in other peoples homes, and just behave terribly in other peoples homes. Makes me wonder what they do all day, staying home, when I’m a nanny 60 hours a week and in the past 25 years none of my nanny kids have acted like that.

How do you know how the kids act when they’re out with their parents on weekends? Lots of parents who work 60+ hours a week have no idea how to manage their own children when the nanny’s not there. And lots of sahps are so inured to their kids’ behavior that they might not think anything of it when out and about. Parents of all stripes have poorly behaved kids.

True - some to extremes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to hang out with adults and we have some interesting conversations, but I hate having their kids over. They can’t afford to hire a babysitter for the night and have 3 and 2 kids ranging 3 - 12. OMG, it’s like a zoo. Kids have no manners and no boundaries. They scream, do gymnastics on our coach, jump on our beds, bang on the piano, run around the house with food dropping it on the floors and touching every wall with greasy hands.

Parents completely ignore this behavior as they consider it normal. This is what they do at home.

Yeah, I hated this when DC was little. So we usually had families with multiple kids destroying the house. We put up with it b/c, well, we just did. It got such that we would put away things (toys, games, etc.) that we didn't want lost, destroyed, etc. Anything else out there was literally going to be maimed by the hoard. The parents didn't really care or enforce any sort of manners for their kids.

I think it just is what it is at that age. You manage it. And be soooo glad when it's over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to hang out with adults and we have some interesting conversations, but I hate having their kids over. They can’t afford to hire a babysitter for the night and have 3 and 2 kids ranging 3 - 12. OMG, it’s like a zoo. Kids have no manners and no boundaries. They scream, do gymnastics on our coach, jump on our beds, bang on the piano, run around the house with food dropping it on the floors and touching every wall with greasy hands.

Parents completely ignore this behavior as they consider it normal. This is what they do at home.

Yeah, I hated this when DC was little. So we usually had families with multiple kids destroying the house. We put up with it b/c, well, we just did. It got such that we would put away things (toys, games, etc.) that we didn't want lost, destroyed, etc. Anything else out there was literally going to be maimed by the hoard. The parents didn't really care or enforce any sort of manners for their kids.

I think it just is what it is at that age. You manage it. And be soooo glad when it's over.

Yeah but other parents issues do not belong to OP, whether or not other parents want them to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like to hang out with adults and we have some interesting conversations, but I hate having their kids over. They can’t afford to hire a babysitter for the night and have 3 and 2 kids ranging 3 - 12. OMG, it’s like a zoo. Kids have no manners and no boundaries. They scream, do gymnastics on our coach, jump on our beds, bang on the piano, run around the house with food dropping it on the floors and touching every wall with greasy hands.

Parents completely ignore this behavior as they consider it normal. This is what they do at home.

I specifically say "adults only." They find babysitters if they want to accept invitation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like to hang out with adults and we have some interesting conversations, but I hate having their kids over. They can’t afford to hire a babysitter for the night and have 3 and 2 kids ranging 3 - 12. OMG, it’s like a zoo. Kids have no manners and no boundaries. They scream, do gymnastics on our coach, jump on our beds, bang on the piano, run around the house with food dropping it on the floors and touching every wall with greasy hands.

Parents completely ignore this behavior as they consider it normal. This is what they do at home.

I specifically say "adults only." They find babysitters if they want to accept invitation.

+1

Yup.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to America OP