I hate having friends’ kids over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you set them up for failure? Are there things that they can play with - something for a large age range (legos, magnatiles, wherever).

Just out on a movie (made for all ages like Minions, Encanto, whatever) works too.

+1 Did you do anything to prepare for 5 kids under the age of 12, or were you really expecting them all to sit and quietly read a book the whole time?

+1

What are they supposed to do at your home? You've probably monopolized the area with a TV, you don't have any books or games for them, and you don't include them in the conversation. I hate people like OP

I told them to bring their own toys, they had access to legos, they had full access to the TV.

Why is there an expectation that someone should go at great lengths to entertain your children?

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you set them up for failure? Are there things that they can play with - something for a large age range (legos, magnatiles, wherever).

Just out on a movie (made for all ages like Minions, Encanto, whatever) works too.

+1 Did you do anything to prepare for 5 kids under the age of 12, or were you really expecting them all to sit and quietly read a book the whole time?

+1

What are they supposed to do at your home? You've probably monopolized the area with a TV, you don't have any books or games for them, and you don't include them in the conversation. I hate people like OP

I told them to bring their own toys, they had access to legos, they had full access to the TV.

Why is there an expectation that someone should go at great lengths to entertain your children?

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

Yawwwwnnn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

I’m a host, not a babysitter. They could have participated in conversations if they were not busy
- screaming,
- running in and out of the house slamming the door,
- shoving handfuls of pretzels into their mouths
- running area the house with food dropping some on the floor
- demanding soda that we didn’t serve
- touching all the walls leaving greasy hand prints because they were not taught to use utensils and napkins
- banging in the piano full force,
- tormenting our cats with a stick they found
- jumping on our bed in master bedroom
- doing gymnastics on the sofa
- these were 7-9 year olds
- when I tried to make a small talk with a 12 year old, he would run off and mumbled something
- another 13 year old just sat silent in a coma like state on their phone the whole evening

What happened to having manners?

[Anonymous]

I never see French kid putting a dirty hand into a bowl with appetizers and stuffing handfuls of into their mouth.

Indian kids that we know are extremely well mannered.

The Chinese twelve year old can hold the most interesting conversations and is also well mannered.

Our friends’ kids from New Zealand have impeccable manners and would never dream to act like this.

I can go on and on.

It seems the kids born and raised in American or half American families have no expectations to meet in terms of behavior. No wonder schools have so many issues with disruptive behavior and lack of discipline.

[Anonymous]

I don't expect people to provide my kid with toys or entertainment, especially if they don't have kids or have kids that are a very different age than mine. I have a young child and we travel most places with a couple items I can pull out in a pinch (things that travel well and won't make a big mess, like washable crayons and a pad of paper, small puzzles, headphones to listen to a podcast on my phone, etc.). Most of the time my kid is well behaved -- I largely bring these things for me, if I need a break and there are not children for DD to play with. I expect her to have good manners but that doesn't mean I expect her to sit silently and listen to me talk about grown up things with another adult. I'm not trying to torture her.

Before I had a kid, I was the kind of person who would find something in the house to entertain friends' kids when they came by -- printer paper and some pencils, a game of Jenga. I wasn't going out and buying toys to entertain them, but I'd make some effort to provide them with something to do. But I think of this kind of the way I think of restaurants. My house was/is like that family friendly restaurant you show up to that immediately gives your kids crayons and placemat to color in, offers a kids menu, and has complimentary chocolate chip cookies for kids. But some restaurants don't do any of that. As a parent, you have to know where you are headed and plan accordingly. Some people do not have kid-friendly houses and that's their prerogative.

[Anonymous]

You’re a pill, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never see French kid putting a dirty hand into a bowl with appetizers and stuffing handfuls of into their mouth.

Indian kids that we know are extremely well mannered.

The Chinese twelve year old can hold the most interesting conversations and is also well mannered.

Our friends’ kids from New Zealand have impeccable manners and would never dream to act like this.

I can go on and on.

It seems the kids born and raised in American or half American families have no expectations to meet in terms of behavior. No wonder schools have so many issues with disruptive behavior and lack of discipline.

Eh, how much time have you spent in other countries? There are ill behaved kids and parents who don't reign them in everywhere. Definitely in France and China! If your experience is mainly with immigrant families, that's not representative -- immigrants tend to be better educated and often work hard to assimilate their children, and are not necessarily representative of everyone in their home countries. I've met boorish kids from France, China, Italy, Australia, England, Germany, Canada, and South Korea. The one place I've spent time where there really does seem to be a culture that produces very polite, well-mannered kids is Japan. I am trying to think of a Japanese child I've met who was rude in any way (other than small, funny rudeness like sticking out a tongue as a joke), and I can't.

But I've met ill behaved children all over the world. And some places the kids get worse as teenagers and can be much worse than American teenagers. I've had terrible experiences with teenage boys in France and Italy -- those countries can be very doting on their sons in a way that produces very entitled young men. Especially if you catch them in groups away from their parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you set them up for failure? Are there things that they can play with - something for a large age range (legos, magnatiles, wherever).

Just out on a movie (made for all ages like Minions, Encanto, whatever) works too.

+1 Did you do anything to prepare for 5 kids under the age of 12, or were you really expecting them all to sit and quietly read a book the whole time?

+1

What are they supposed to do at your home? You've probably monopolized the area with a TV, you don't have any books or games for them, and you don't include them in the conversation. I hate people like OP

Sometimes they don't want to play books or games, and sometimes the kids might have ADD (for example) - so nothing OP provided might have worked. If you know your kids get bored, maybe you should bring something for them. Maybe you should teach them how to behave outside their house. Take some time with your kids.

I have seen kids get bored at houses that have just about anything a kid could want. Stop trying to pile it onto OP. Stiop trying to deflect. OP was gracious enough to host. Now OP realizes it was a mistake, and likely they will have to find another house to trash.

Oh please. OP is some childless SATC wannabe who is regretting her life choices but wants to show off her pristine apartment that has nothing for the kids to do while she wants her friend to get drunk with her.

Hi, Brunch Granny! Get a life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

I’m a host, not a babysitter. They could have participated in conversations if they were not busy
- screaming,
- running in and out of the house slamming the door,
- shoving handfuls of pretzels into their mouths
- running area the house with food dropping some on the floor
- demanding soda that we didn’t serve
- touching all the walls leaving greasy hand prints because they were not taught to use utensils and napkins
- banging in the piano full force,
- tormenting our cats with a stick they found
- jumping on our bed in master bedroom
- doing gymnastics on the sofa
- these were 7-9 year olds
- when I tried to make a small talk with a 12 year old, he would run off and mumbled something
- another 13 year old just sat silent in a coma like state on their phone the whole evening

What happened to having manners?

What are the parents of these children like? Adherents of positive discipline? Academic types? That they provide stimulating conversation, but can’t afford a babysitter, makes me wonder. I live in an area split between a lot of academics and military families. The former’s kids tend to be more out of control, and the latter, better mannered and disciplined.

[Anonymous]

The parents are different. I mostly enjoy conversations with husbands. Wives are SAHMs and their conversation ironically revolves around children.



I think it’s a case of moms burdened with childcare and coming to a dinner party is viewed as an opportunity to just let the kids loose and not have to take care of them for once.
A babysitter will cost a couple hundred bucks and they are one one middle class income.

I’m not inviting them again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents are different. I mostly enjoy conversations with husbands. Wives are SAHMs and their conversation ironically revolves around children.



I think it’s a case of moms burdened with childcare and coming to a dinner party is viewed as an opportunity to just let the kids loose and not have to take care of them for once.
A babysitter will cost a couple hundred bucks and they are one one middle class income.

I’m not inviting them again.

Ok. I think everybody wins that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

I’m a host, not a babysitter. They could have participated in conversations if they were not busy
- screaming,
- running in and out of the house slamming the door,
- shoving handfuls of pretzels into their mouths
- running area the house with food dropping some on the floor
- demanding soda that we didn’t serve
- touching all the walls leaving greasy hand prints because they were not taught to use utensils and napkins
- banging in the piano full force,
- tormenting our cats with a stick they found
- jumping on our bed in master bedroom
- doing gymnastics on the sofa
- these were 7-9 year olds
- when I tried to make a small talk with a 12 year old, he would run off and mumbled something
- another 13 year old just sat silent in a coma like state on their phone the whole evening

What happened to having manners?

I don't believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

I’m a host, not a babysitter. They could have participated in conversations if they were not busy
- screaming,
- running in and out of the house slamming the door,
- shoving handfuls of pretzels into their mouths
- running area the house with food dropping some on the floor
- demanding soda that we didn’t serve
- touching all the walls leaving greasy hand prints because they were not taught to use utensils and napkins
- banging in the piano full force,
- tormenting our cats with a stick they found
- jumping on our bed in master bedroom
- doing gymnastics on the sofa
- these were 7-9 year olds
- when I tried to make a small talk with a 12 year old, he would run off and mumbled something
- another 13 year old just sat silent in a coma like state on their phone the whole evening

What happened to having manners?

You sound unhinged.
If anyone talked about my littles like that, I would stop being friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The parents are different. I mostly enjoy conversations with husbands. Wives are SAHMs and their conversation ironically revolves around children.



I think it’s a case of moms burdened with childcare and coming to a dinner party is viewed as an opportunity to just let the kids loose and not have to take care of them for once.
A babysitter will cost a couple hundred bucks and they are one one middle class income.

I’m not inviting them again.

Ah, so you don’t like women or children. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Bc they are guests of yours? Just bc they are kids doesn't mean you can dismiss them like trash

I’m a host, not a babysitter. They could have participated in conversations if they were not busy
- screaming,
- running in and out of the house slamming the door,
- shoving handfuls of pretzels into their mouths
- running area the house with food dropping some on the floor
- demanding soda that we didn’t serve
- touching all the walls leaving greasy hand prints because they were not taught to use utensils and napkins
- banging in the piano full force,
- tormenting our cats with a stick they found
- jumping on our bed in master bedroom
- doing gymnastics on the sofa
- these were 7-9 year olds
- when I tried to make a small talk with a 12 year old, he would run off and mumbled something
- another 13 year old just sat silent in a coma like state on their phone the whole evening

What happened to having manners?

You sound unhinged.
If anyone talked about my littles like that, I would stop being friends

You mean describe their poor behavior??? Who the hell are you people that think this would be OK?