Discrepancy between you want vs what you can get

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP! You don't realize the opportunity you have. Marry someone who thinks you are above him and you will be winning the lottery. He will worship you and be a great husband. Meanwhile you need to understand that the average man no matter what will have a more successful career more easily then the average woman, that the wheels of his life are greased in a way yours are not and will not be, and the older you get the more true this is. So even marrying someone you think is beneath you now, they are unlikely to remain beneath you and you are more likely to fall beneath them, especially if you become a mother.

Let’s be realistic, what are the chances she will find someone beneath her that is not insecure. She’s better off marrying someone at her level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think men do not really look for anything more than good looks, especially at the get-go when it comes to meeting people.

Uh women specifically.
(Sorry.)

As long as a woman is attractive, fit, a great cook/housekeeper as well as an excellent Mother, w/a great sense of humor and has her own interests in life.
Those attributes mean so much more to many guys vs. how much money they generate.

A successful lawyer, physician or entrepreneur, etc. would marry a Nanny/Teacher/Nurse as long as she was physically attractive to him.
Bonus points if she is great in bed & enjoys frequent sex.

This is outdated. People assortive date now. Especially lawyers and doctors.

It’s amazing how so many people continue to ignore this.

Lol like the towns this lady wants to move to (CC MD or the like) aren’t chock full of sahms?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP! You don't realize the opportunity you have. Marry someone who thinks you are above him and you will be winning the lottery. He will worship you and be a great husband. Meanwhile you need to understand that the average man no matter what will have a more successful career more easily then the average woman, that the wheels of his life are greased in a way yours are not and will not be, and the older you get the more true this is. So even marrying someone you think is beneath you now, they are unlikely to remain beneath you and you are more likely to fall beneath them, especially if you become a mother.

Let’s be realistic, what are the chances she will find someone beneath her that is not insecure. She’s better off marrying someone at her level.

Nobody is “beneath” OP just because they don’t earn more than 100k and have a 500k house. That’s such an offensive perception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP! You don't realize the opportunity you have. Marry someone who thinks you are above him and you will be winning the lottery. He will worship you and be a great husband. Meanwhile you need to understand that the average man no matter what will have a more successful career more easily then the average woman, that the wheels of his life are greased in a way yours are not and will not be, and the older you get the more true this is. So even marrying someone you think is beneath you now, they are unlikely to remain beneath you and you are more likely to fall beneath them, especially if you become a mother.

Let’s be realistic, what are the chances she will find someone beneath her that is not insecure. She’s better off marrying someone at her level.

Nobody is “beneath” OP just because they don’t earn more than 100k and have a 500k house. That’s such an offensive perception.

Thus, my response to OP’s post is “good luck with that.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

Male here. With a SHF in Chevy Chase. Private school for my kids. You sound dull and materialistic. What do you bring to the table?

x10000000

Woman here. Exactly my thought. NP. I see so many of these shallow women where I live, I would feel bad for them, if they weren't so ......pathetic.

OP, why would someone want to marry you just because you NEED to have an S class before a certain birthday - are those life goals? Listen to yourself. GEESUS, people, get a grip. I knew a group that would go to Dewey every summer, rent a group house, and all they would talk about is marrying a man like that. Marriage is a business transaction to them, like the oldest profession in the world. I read this all the time on these boards, and see it IRL, it makes women look bad.

Oh please. Every single one of these smug married women posting above about how their lives are just like this, wanted exactly these things and found it. OP and her friends are just saying the quiet part out loud. If you don't believe me try taking one of these snotty affluent married women and have them change places with OP (sounds like a great premise for a movie). You will immediately see them completely lose their sh*t.

Wait what? Take a 40 year old woman who has been married for twenty years and put her DH through school, switch places with OP who acts like she is looking at a menu for lunch, for a life partner? How does that even make sense? How does OP pretend to know whose money it is, or what it took for the couple to get where they are?

No matter who OP is, or who OP marries some day (or not - because her attitude sucks), OP will be up against something - the abusive IL's, the DH's drinking/rage/whatever habits - there is always something, and OP may think it sounds "easy" - but if OP can't handle this part - how on earth is she going to handle the rest?

NO I mean all these women saying how shallow and materialistic OP is would die if you took away the lives that OP says he wants for herself. They are not any better than she is, though they think they are.

These women are indeed better persons often (more patient, mature, often with better careers etc). It takes a certain set of skills to remain and build a long term marriage. If one day one of such women ends up single, she would be just happily taking care of her kids. In 20 years, married people accumulate assets and divorced women after successful financially marriages would be more secure in life than OP. They would gave grown kids, a stable job, some assets to talk about, more experience and interests. I don't see OP competing successfully even with early 40s divorced educated women who are well-off. These women date 37-45 y.o. men pretty often. Divorced men in their 40-50s would date much younger women, but for a LTR they would be looking for social and financial equals, someone with similar life experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you looking for romantic partners or business partners?

OP here. After putting myself through college and graduate school and acquiring a fulfilling and interesting policy job, I really do not want to marry some average joe making 100k a year so we can squeeze into a 500k townhouse in Vienna and take yearly vacations to OBX.

I want a SHF in Chevy Chase, private school for my kids and international vacations.

Why NOT me? Only because I am not blonde and skinny?

Its depressing.

You are not special. Also out of touch. You can’t get a townhouse in Vienna for only 500k. Also, yearly vacations to the outer banks are a luxury. Get real. I made 100k at a nonprofit by 30. I married (dumb) and combined income was 280. We never took a beach vacation in 10 years. Divorced. I make double on my own now than I did at 28. Make your own money.

+1

SO out of touch.

Outer Banks are insanely expensive (particular food and good quality accommodations). It's actually cheaper to vacation in Italy or Greece and often you would find way better price/value propositions there, if you are willing to fly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think men do not really look for anything more than good looks, especially at the get-go when it comes to meeting people.

Uh women specifically.
(Sorry.)

As long as a woman is attractive, fit, a great cook/housekeeper as well as an excellent Mother, w/a great sense of humor and has her own interests in life.
Those attributes mean so much more to many guys vs. how much money they generate.

A successful lawyer, physician or entrepreneur, etc. would marry a Nanny/Teacher/Nurse as long as she was physically attractive to him.
Bonus points if she is great in bed & enjoys frequent sex.

This is outdated. People assortive date now. Especially lawyers and doctors.

It’s amazing how so many people continue to ignore this.

Lol like the towns this lady wants to move to (CC MD or the like) aren’t chock full of sahms?!

SAHMs with Ivy degrees (where they met their spouses) or former big law, medicine, finance who left to raise their kids. These husbands want smart accomplished wives who will pass on smart genes and raise their kids well. No one marries the secretary anymore.

[Anonymous]

You can't always get what you want... 🎶

[Anonymous]

From OP’s post I’m guessing the problem is she is unattractive and also constantly assessing men for their accomplishments instead of enjoying their company. Whomp whomp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP! You don't realize the opportunity you have. Marry someone who thinks you are above him and you will be winning the lottery. He will worship you and be a great husband. Meanwhile you need to understand that the average man no matter what will have a more successful career more easily then the average woman, that the wheels of his life are greased in a way yours are not and will not be, and the older you get the more true this is. So even marrying someone you think is beneath you now, they are unlikely to remain beneath you and you are more likely to fall beneath them, especially if you become a mother.

Let’s be realistic, what are the chances she will find someone beneath her that is not insecure. She’s better off marrying someone at her level.

Nobody is “beneath” OP just because they don’t earn more than 100k and have a 500k house. That’s such an offensive perception.

In fact, based on OP’s attitude, it sounds like she is beneath most potential mates in intelligence and wisdom. She doesn’t sound like the type of person I would ever want to be friends with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think men do not really look for anything more than good looks, especially at the get-go when it comes to meeting people.

Uh women specifically.
(Sorry.)

As long as a woman is attractive, fit, a great cook/housekeeper as well as an excellent Mother, w/a great sense of humor and has her own interests in life.
Those attributes mean so much more to many guys vs. how much money they generate.

A successful lawyer, physician or entrepreneur, etc. would marry a Nanny/Teacher/Nurse as long as she was physically attractive to him.
Bonus points if she is great in bed & enjoys frequent sex.

This is outdated. People assortive date now. Especially lawyers and doctors.

It’s amazing how so many people continue to ignore this.

Lol like the towns this lady wants to move to (CC MD or the like) aren’t chock full of sahms?!

SAHMs with Ivy degrees (where they met their spouses) or former big law, medicine, finance who left to raise their kids. These husbands want smart accomplished wives who will pass on smart genes and raise their kids well. No one marries the secretary anymore.

You don’t have “smart genes” just because Mummy and Daddy could afford to send you to nice schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think men do not really look for anything more than good looks, especially at the get-go when it comes to meeting people.

Uh women specifically.
(Sorry.)

As long as a woman is attractive, fit, a great cook/housekeeper as well as an excellent Mother, w/a great sense of humor and has her own interests in life.
Those attributes mean so much more to many guys vs. how much money they generate.

A successful lawyer, physician or entrepreneur, etc. would marry a Nanny/Teacher/Nurse as long as she was physically attractive to him.
Bonus points if she is great in bed & enjoys frequent sex.

This is outdated. People assortive date now. Especially lawyers and doctors.

It’s amazing how so many people continue to ignore this.

Lol like the towns this lady wants to move to (CC MD or the like) aren’t chock full of sahms?!

SAHMs with Ivy degrees (where they met their spouses) or former big law, medicine, finance who left to raise their kids. These husbands want smart accomplished wives who will pass on smart genes and raise their kids well. No one marries the secretary anymore.

You don’t have “smart genes” just because Mummy and Daddy could afford to send you to nice schools.

If you are anywhere near being familiar with admission process of these schools, you would have known that money are just a good "extra" and not a guarantee of admission. They have hundreds of applicants from all over the world and a few are accepted. And even if you are not intelligent, after years in a private school you will have a huge educational advantage vs your peers in public schools.

My son recently came from a summer camp where he lived in tents with other kids of different background. Wilson HS kids is all about drugs, girls and partying vs a DC private school HS student who is all about college admissions, grades and future career paths. He literally felt that they spoke in 2 different languages: he's trilingual besides being far more eloquent in English. He is 2 years ahead in math vs public schools AP math level. Even their English is different: they don't know words like "abysmal". Nobody played chess or ever traveled anywhere outside the US. It was a eye opening experience for my child how privileged he truly is.

So now guess why top tier colleges still accept higher percentage of grads from my son's school vs DC public schools

[Anonymous]

I married beneath op, I guess. All that hard work and We own a vacation home in the (ugh!) outer banks and ew, live in a rowhouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think men do not really look for anything more than good looks, especially at the get-go when it comes to meeting people.

Uh women specifically.
(Sorry.)

As long as a woman is attractive, fit, a great cook/housekeeper as well as an excellent Mother, w/a great sense of humor and has her own interests in life.
Those attributes mean so much more to many guys vs. how much money they generate.

A successful lawyer, physician or entrepreneur, etc. would marry a Nanny/Teacher/Nurse as long as she was physically attractive to him.
Bonus points if she is great in bed & enjoys frequent sex.

This is outdated. People assortive date now. Especially lawyers and doctors.

It’s amazing how so many people continue to ignore this.

Lol like the towns this lady wants to move to (CC MD or the like) aren’t chock full of sahms?!

SAHMs with Ivy degrees (where they met their spouses) or former big law, medicine, finance who left to raise their kids. These husbands want smart accomplished wives who will pass on smart genes and raise their kids well. No one marries the secretary anymore.

You don’t have “smart genes” just because Mummy and Daddy could afford to send you to nice schools.

If you are anywhere near being familiar with admission process of these schools, you would have known that money are just a good "extra" and not a guarantee of admission. They have hundreds of applicants from all over the world and a few are accepted. And even if you are not intelligent, after years in a private school you will have a huge educational advantage vs your peers in public schools.

My son recently came from a summer camp where he lived in tents with other kids of different background. Wilson HS kids is all about drugs, girls and partying vs a DC private school HS student who is all about college admissions, grades and future career paths. He literally felt that they spoke in 2 different languages: he's trilingual besides being far more eloquent in English. He is 2 years ahead in math vs public schools AP math level. Even their English is different: they don't know words like "abysmal". Nobody played chess or ever traveled anywhere outside the US. It was a eye opening experience for my child how privileged he truly is.

So now guess why top tier colleges still accept higher percentage of grads from my son's school vs DC public schools

I think this should just be pinned to the front page of DCUM forever!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think men do not really look for anything more than good looks, especially at the get-go when it comes to meeting people.

Uh women specifically.
(Sorry.)

As long as a woman is attractive, fit, a great cook/housekeeper as well as an excellent Mother, w/a great sense of humor and has her own interests in life.
Those attributes mean so much more to many guys vs. how much money they generate.

A successful lawyer, physician or entrepreneur, etc. would marry a Nanny/Teacher/Nurse as long as she was physically attractive to him.
Bonus points if she is great in bed & enjoys frequent sex.

This is outdated. People assortive date now. Especially lawyers and doctors.

It’s amazing how so many people continue to ignore this.

Lol like the towns this lady wants to move to (CC MD or the like) aren’t chock full of sahms?!

SAHMs with Ivy degrees (where they met their spouses) or former big law, medicine, finance who left to raise their kids. These husbands want smart accomplished wives who will pass on smart genes and raise their kids well. No one marries the secretary anymore.

+1