40 year old mom here and met a 56 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy.

You are dating, not getting married for life. Enjoy it while it lasts, who knows where either of you will be in 10 years let alone 25

That sounds fruity. Why would a 40 year old woman waste her time dating if the potential date doesn't ever want to get married. A total waste of time while she's ageing and it's not increasing her income or portfolio. Enjoy what? I enjoy my lifestyle, and now don't have to work. I knew at 25 not to waste time "dating" men who didn't want to commit.

If she already has kids why would she care about getting married? Completely pointless.

Why would she care about dating? Put that effort into her kids then. Otherwise, the only reason to marry would be if her lifestyle is substantially improved.

Some people aren’t ready to hang up their sex lives forever at the age of 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy.

You are dating, not getting married for life. Enjoy it while it lasts, who knows where either of you will be in 10 years let alone 25

That sounds fruity. Why would a 40 year old woman waste her time dating if the potential date doesn't ever want to get married. A total waste of time while she's ageing and it's not increasing her income or portfolio. Enjoy what? I enjoy my lifestyle, and now don't have to work. I knew at 25 not to waste time "dating" men who didn't want to commit.

If she already has kids why would she care about getting married? Completely pointless.

Why would she care about dating? Put that effort into her kids then. Otherwise, the only reason to marry would be if her lifestyle is substantially improved.

Some people aren’t ready to hang up their sex lives forever at the age of 40.

DP. I am mid-40s. I will never marry again. Not ever. Getting sex is not a problem. And fyi: I had a 10-year almost completely sexless marriage (age 32-42). Marriage is not a guarantee for sex. Since my divorce, I have several options for sex and it has been infinitely better than marriage in all ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would she care about dating?

Because dating is fun! (Marriage, not so much.) It is totally possible to date as a single parent without getting married.

I wouldn't do that to my kids. If I found one long term that would be ok, but still there would have to be a future.

Dating and STDs isn't fun btw. I guess some have more fun with stability.

I sure don’t get divorced people who think that marriage is required for “a future”. You already know marriage doesn’t necessarily last forever. The stats for second marriages are even more grim than for first ones. Your chances of “a future” are under 40%.

I understand wanting an LTR and not wanting to sleep around. That’s how I am. But marriage… why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you even ask? There is nothing DCUM hates, hates, hates more than “older man with younger woman”. The barrage of shaming has been predictably relentless.

If you’re happy with this relationship, that’s all that matters.

Maybe “dcum hates, hates, hates” it because it’s inappropriate and gross.

Completely circular reasoning. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Why would she care about dating?

Because dating is fun! (Marriage, not so much.) It is totally possible to date as a single parent without getting married.

I wouldn't do that to my kids. If I found one long term that would be ok, but still there would have to be a future.

Dating and STDs isn't fun btw. I guess some have more fun with stability.

I sure don’t get divorced people who think that marriage is required for “a future”. You already know marriage doesn’t necessarily last forever. The stats for second marriages are even more grim than for first ones. Your chances of “a future” are under 40%.

I understand wanting an LTR and not wanting to sleep around. That’s how I am. But marriage… why?

Only if their lifestyle is increased. Or made easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy.

You are dating, not getting married for life. Enjoy it while it lasts, who knows where either of you will be in 10 years let alone 25

That sounds fruity. Why would a 40 year old woman waste her time dating if the potential date doesn't ever want to get married. A total waste of time while she's ageing and it's not increasing her income or portfolio. Enjoy what? I enjoy my lifestyle, and now don't have to work. I knew at 25 not to waste time "dating" men who didn't want to commit.

If she already has kids why would she care about getting married? Completely pointless.

Why would she care about dating? Put that effort into her kids then. Otherwise, the only reason to marry would be if her lifestyle is substantially improved.

Some people aren’t ready to hang up their sex lives forever at the age of 40.

If that's mainly what you value that's probably why you're divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are crazy.

You are dating, not getting married for life. Enjoy it while it lasts, who knows where either of you will be in 10 years let alone 25

That sounds fruity. Why would a 40 year old woman waste her time dating if the potential date doesn't ever want to get married. A total waste of time while she's ageing and it's not increasing her income or portfolio. Enjoy what? I enjoy my lifestyle, and now don't have to work. I knew at 25 not to waste time "dating" men who didn't want to commit.

People date for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with getting married. I never wanted to marry and have been dating for decades.

[Anonymous]

That sounds fruity. Why would a 40 year old woman waste her time dating if the potential date doesn't ever want to get married. A total waste of time while she's ageing and it's not increasing her income or portfolio. Enjoy what? I enjoy my lifestyle, and now don't have to work. I knew at 25 not to waste time "dating" men who didn't want to commit.

Poster: Did you mean to say that the OP should only date at her age to increase her "income or portfolio"?

Things could be tough if this guy has high-growth but low-income producing assets. How long should she give his money to produce income or contribute to her portfolio?

When you wrote about not dating men who "didn't want to commit," were you referring to committing to increasing your income and portfolio?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

44yo man and it is so easy to date in the 22-26 range the past few years I'm surprised by the reaction as well.

That must be because women closer in age to you are completely grossed out by you wanting to date women who have just graduated from college and are the same age as their kids while you have been working for 20 years. Why did you never grow up?

DP with bad news for you: in terms of pure physical sexual attractiveness, a 22yo woman beats a 44yo one 100% of the time. It's science.

[Anonymous]

A 16 year age difference is a lot. Yes, there are cases where it works or even larger differences work. But generally, I think 10 years is the maximum. Tread carefully before making any commitments, but if you are just dating and having fun companionship, and both people see it that way, go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

44yo man and it is so easy to date in the 22-26 range the past few years I'm surprised by the reaction as well.

That must be because women closer in age to you are completely grossed out by you wanting to date women who have just graduated from college and are the same age as their kids while you have been working for 20 years. Why did you never grow up?

DP with bad news for you: in terms of pure physical sexual attractiveness, a 22yo woman beats a 44yo one 100% of the time. It's science.

No one should be 20 years apart. Fwiw, age is not the sole criterion of sexual attraction. There can be beautiful women in the 40s and plain average looking women in their 20s.

I am 44. I can’t compete with 20s. But I can compete with 30s. I look better than most of them.

[Anonymous]

How many posts will this forum have where the discussion is a bunch of mid to late 40s women arguing that it's 'wrong' for men to be more attracted to women in their 20s?

Seriously, get over it. Nobody picks stale bread over fresh bread no matter how much you argue otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one should encourage a 40 year old woman with a child/children to date a 56 year old man.

+ 1 million. Definitely don’t get into a long term relationship. My mom started dating a 54 year old when she was 41 (I was a teen). They eventually got married and it has brought about so many problems for myself and my siblings throughout our lives. Part of it was just the step parent dynamic but the age also complicated things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should encourage a 40 year old woman with a child/children to date a 56 year old man.

+ 1 million. Definitely don’t get into a long term relationship. My mom started dating a 54 year old when she was 41 (I was a teen). They eventually got married and it has brought about so many problems for myself and my siblings throughout our lives. Part of it was just the step parent dynamic but the age also complicated things.

What problems?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one should encourage a 40 year old woman with a child/children to date a 56 year old man.

+ 1 million. Definitely don’t get into a long term relationship. My mom started dating a 54 year old when she was 41 (I was a teen). They eventually got married and it has brought about so many problems for myself and my siblings throughout our lives. Part of it was just the step parent dynamic but the age also complicated things.

13 year age gap is totally fine, many first marriages have that. What problems would have been different by her marrying someone younger? She still had kids.