Angry at sister and BIL for getting pregnant again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one thinks an abortion is indicated here?

The sister is past 24 weeks and the baby is wanted. I am extremely pro choice and think the BIL and SIL sound insane, selfish and horrible but the abortion ship was never wanted and that train left the station anyway when they reached viability.

A baby girl with “some issues” isn’t wanted. And abortion at 24 weeks isn’t illegal in VA when the mother’s health is at risk, which it is.

Again, I think these people are irresponsible and stupid, but the bolded is clearly not true as the woman in question is willingly undergoing bedrest for four months and risking her life to have this baby. She should certainly have the option available to her, but it shouldn't be pushed on her. And a birth at this stage would be more like a stillbirth, the child would have a chance at surviving even now. And 'some issues' could mean like, a million things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am not going to tell my parents what they can or can’t do, but had a very direct conversation with both my parents and my sister today and told my sister she will be responsible for our mom’s death if she doesn’t find an alternate solution. I proposed to both that my parents go for a few weeks to try to help hire a nanny and get the kids used to that person. My mom’s doctor told her pausing chemo is not an option if she wants to be around much longer, and I think that’s what will get her to listen. She can get set up to do her chemo where my sister lives, but my mom is generally pretty debilitated for a few days after each infusion and recognizes that she can’t care for 3 and 6 year olds alone (my dad isn’t much help).

BIL’s parents are both deceased and he has a sibling across the country he is not close to.

To the poster who thinks I am angry at my mom and not my sister, no clue where you got that from but I completely understand my parents’ desire to help my sister as I know they would do for me if needed in a heartbeat.

I am just so angry they were selfish enough to put their kids through this and never once thought to plan ahead even though they were told it was guaranteed to happen.

OP is there any chance you can go and help your sister? Take FMLA leave and help hire the nanny? Your mom cannot handle this. She needs the chemo and clearly can't function well after it. Plus little kids are teeming with germs and could infect her with something like cold/flu/covid and then she's in trouble. I cannot imagine asking a 70 something year old with cancer during chemo to look after a 3 and 6 year old!!! That's insane.

Or your BIL can take FMLA and he finds the nanny!!! You mom needs to be completely out of this. Good luck.

Yes BIL should be the one to take care of his children

[Anonymous]

Updates ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Talk to your mom. Tell her that pausing her chemo and the stress of caring for 2 young kids (and living with their selfish father) increase the odds she will die soon.

If she does die, especially if she dies while living with her grandchildren, it will REALLY mess them up. Just adding a grandmother's death into this mix will be awful. At some point, though, they will understand that their parents' actions caused her earlier death. They may even come to understand that their parents saw risking their grandmother's health as a better course of action than having them live with you and go to a different school for a few months.

Now,throw in that the 3rd child will have special needs and that some day these two GIRLS will probably figure out that their dad risked BOTH their mother's and grandmother's lives so he MIGHT have a son...and tell me that's not going to require YEARS of therapy.

Your mom needs to say NO and say that risking her own health at this crucial point in her daughter's and granddaughters lives is not better for her granddaughters than a few months in a different school while living with their aunt and uncle.

Literally none of this is true. Have your kids lost a grandparent? A close relative? Mine have. They move on. Yes, losing their mother would be devastating. The rest? Not so much.

Really? You don’t think it would be traumatic for a little girl to come home from school and find her grandmother dead at the kitchen table?

Drama much? ....at the kitchen table lol

NP here. No I don't think losing a grandparent is traumatic. Happens to most people. Not a huge deal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to be this person but is OP the poster who likes to create hypothetical scenarios?

Probably

Why does that person do that?