Am I being paranoid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP again. Does $300 seem reasonable for a language lesson?

$300 for a single lesson? Of 30 minutes to an hour, or how long? It sounds very high, but if you check online you'll see that one on one language tutors can be anywhere from $30 to $75 per hour. Is the $300 something you saw on the credit card? Isn't that likely for not a single lesson but several lessons? Almost no form of tutoring, music lessons etc. is less than $30 for 30 minutes, BTW, speaking very generally. $300 sounds to me like three weeks' to a month's worth of lessons.

How do you not already know what he is supposedly paying per lesson or per hour?

If you saw such a charge, OP, well, ASK him rather than letting yourself fret and come up with scenarios in your head. That sounds to me like a fee for several lessons, paid all at once.

We each have our own bank accounts in addition to the joint account. That’s how we’ve always done it. I found an ATM receipt on his desk from that morning morning that showed a $300 withdrawal from his account. She likes to get paid in cash evidently. I don’t monitor what he pays since I know he generally is not an extravagant spender.

OP, just ask him about it in a non-challenging way.

[Anonymous]

He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP again. Does $300 seem reasonable for a language lesson?

$300 for a single lesson? Of 30 minutes to an hour, or how long? It sounds very high, but if you check online you'll see that one on one language tutors can be anywhere from $30 to $75 per hour. Is the $300 something you saw on the credit card? Isn't that likely for not a single lesson but several lessons? Almost no form of tutoring, music lessons etc. is less than $30 for 30 minutes, BTW, speaking very generally. $300 sounds to me like three weeks' to a month's worth of lessons.

How do you not already know what he is supposedly paying per lesson or per hour?

If you saw such a charge, OP, well, ASK him rather than letting yourself fret and come up with scenarios in your head. That sounds to me like a fee for several lessons, paid all at once.

We each have our own bank accounts in addition to the joint account. That’s how we’ve always done it. I found an ATM receipt on his desk from that morning morning that showed a $300 withdrawal from his account. She likes to get paid in cash evidently. I don’t monitor what he pays since I know he generally is not an extravagant spender.

OP, just ask him about it in a non-challenging way.

OP here, not sure. I think he already may have sensed that I was suspicious when I mentioned the duffle bag (I had to pretend the neighbor saw her go in with it when the neighbor was walking the dog, and mentioned it to me). He knows the neighbor, who is my friend, is a bit of a busybody so he wouldn't necessarily guess I put her up to it.

[Anonymous]

Just say you were looking for something on his desk and saw the withdrawal slip and ask whether that was for the tutor. If he says yes, then say that seems like a lot, what are we paying her by the hour?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

Don’t be so dramatic. Many people get paid in cash. It is a way to avoid paying taxes on side gigs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

Don’t be so dramatic. Many people get paid in cash. It is a way to avoid paying taxes on side gigs.

OP again. I agree, this is the reason for cash. He also usually pays his personal trainer and yoga instructor in cash for same reason — and they prefer it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

Don’t be so dramatic. Many people get paid in cash. It is a way to avoid paying taxes on side gigs.

OP again. I agree, this is the reason for cash. He also usually pays his personal trainer and yoga instructor in cash for same reason — and they prefer it.

Wait, he takes a yoga class? That's a red flag if there ever was one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

Don’t be so dramatic. Many people get paid in cash. It is a way to avoid paying taxes on side gigs.

OP again. I agree, this is the reason for cash. He also usually pays his personal trainer and yoga instructor in cash for same reason — and they prefer it.

Wait, he takes a yoga class? That's a red flag if there ever was one.

Let me guess, Op. The trainer and yoga instructor are attractive young women. Jeez, open your eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP again. Does $300 seem reasonable for a language lesson?

A+ trolling for 7 pages, but you flew a little too close to the sun with this comment.

But really, masterclass in trolling up until this comment[/quote]



Love this analysis!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

Don’t be so dramatic. Many people get paid in cash. It is a way to avoid paying taxes on side gigs.

OP again. I agree, this is the reason for cash. He also usually pays his personal trainer and yoga instructor in cash for same reason — and they prefer it.

Wait, he takes a yoga class? That's a red flag if there ever was one.

He doesn't go to a yoga studio. It is a yoga class in his health club, which I don't belong to. He's a bit of a fitness nut. I've never met his yoga instructor, but his name is Jessie! The trainer is Riley so again, your theory is off base.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Just say you were looking for something on his desk and saw the withdrawal slip and ask whether that was for the tutor. If he says yes, then say that seems like a lot, what are we paying her by the hour?

+1. This will put your mind at rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
He pays her in cash?!? Sorry, OP, this is not looking good.

Don’t be so dramatic. Many people get paid in cash. It is a way to avoid paying taxes on side gigs.

OP again. I agree, this is the reason for cash. He also usually pays his personal trainer and yoga instructor in cash for same reason — and they prefer it.

Wait, he takes a yoga class? That's a red flag if there ever was one.

He doesn't go to a yoga studio. It is a yoga class in his health club, which I don't belong to. He's a bit of a fitness nut. I've never met his yoga instructor, but his name is Jessie! The trainer is Riley so again, your theory is off base.

My sister’s name is Riley!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just say you were looking for something on his desk and saw the withdrawal slip and ask whether that was for the tutor. If he says yes, then say that seems like a lot, what are we paying her by the hour?

+1. This will put your mind at rest.

OK, I wanted closure so I just went and talked to him. I mentioned the ATM receipt and asked whether this was for the tutor and then said that it seemed like a lot -- and then asked what are we paying her per hour. He said we pay her $100/hr. I asked why did you take out $300 and after making a joke about how he was wining and dining his mistress, he said he wanted $50 just to have some cash and gave her a belated Xmas present of another $150. He says she's a struggling grad student who is just getting by and books are expensive. Now I really feel like a jerk. He obviously knows I am jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just say you were looking for something on his desk and saw the withdrawal slip and ask whether that was for the tutor. If he says yes, then say that seems like a lot, what are we paying her by the hour?

+1. This will put your mind at rest.

OK, I wanted closure so I just went and talked to him. I mentioned the ATM receipt and asked whether this was for the tutor and then said that it seemed like a lot -- and then asked what are we paying her per hour. He said we pay her $100/hr. I asked why did you take out $300 and after making a joke about how he was wining and dining his mistress, he said he wanted $50 just to have some cash and gave her a belated Xmas present of another $150. He says she's a struggling grad student who is just getting by and books are expensive. Now I really feel like a jerk. He obviously knows I am jealous.

OP, your mom called. She said it’s getting late and time to go to bed because you have middle school in the morning, plus a braces appointment in the afternoon then dinner at grandma’s house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Just say you were looking for something on his desk and saw the withdrawal slip and ask whether that was for the tutor. If he says yes, then say that seems like a lot, what are we paying her by the hour?

+1. This will put your mind at rest.

OK, I wanted closure so I just went and talked to him. I mentioned the ATM receipt and asked whether this was for the tutor and then said that it seemed like a lot -- and then asked what are we paying her per hour. He said we pay her $100/hr. I asked why did you take out $300 and after making a joke about how he was wining and dining his mistress, he said he wanted $50 just to have some cash and gave her a belated Xmas present of another $150. He says she's a struggling grad student who is just getting by and books are expensive. Now I really feel like a jerk. He obviously knows I am jealous.

Classic gaslighting!