Husband following 20-year old on social media…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe how many dumb posters say OP is overreacting. Dumb like my AP's wife. You heard me.

Would you all be ok with your 40 yo husband asking a 20 yo hottie for her phone number? And her giving it to him? Because that's what this is.

Old guy here. As I posted above, I kept in touch with my 20 something hairdresser and had her phone number. My phone is full of professional contacts. That alone is not bad behavior. These days people keep in touch on IG and other places online. Unless his interactions with her are inappropriate, just adding her on IG by itself is no big deal. I have no idea about my W's online activities, who she follows on IG, who her friends are on FB or anything else and I couldn't care less.

It's not his hairdresser! It's a random front desk girl.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is a creep. Don't know what you can do about that.

[Anonymous]

What did her comment on his post say? What type of things does he post to his IG?

[Anonymous]

OP here: The girl doesn’t have many followers on IG and only follows 200 people herself, which is why I thought it very odd my husband was one of them. Yes he may see her every week in the salon, but following on IG brings it to a personal level. Her posts on IG are selfies of herself and bikini pics.

Also, this is NOT his actual hairdresser, it’s just a random chick who works the front desk.

I’ll ask him about it, but am 100% sure he’ll make an excuse for it, which is why I wanted to check my intuition here first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The girl doesn’t have many followers on IG and only follows 200 people herself, which is why I thought it very odd my husband was one of them. Yes he may see her every week in the salon, but following on IG brings it to a personal level. Her posts on IG are selfies of herself and bikini pics.

Also, this is NOT his actual hairdresser, it’s just a random chick who works the front desk.

I’ll ask him about it, but am 100% sure he’ll make an excuse for it, which is why I wanted to check my intuition here first.

I agree it's inappropriate and annoying, but do you ever look up people on IG? For example, some of the moms on DS's soccer team team follow the coach, who is a very good looking 20-something and knows it, so of course there are some shirtless pictures on his IG. I mean, I admit to have looked at his public IG before, but I don't follow him or anyone that would upset my DH or lead him to ask people's opinions about my behavior online. I love my DH too much to do something silly like that, and he's sensitive and I know it. Some loving husbands are just really dumb though. It might be a red flag, and it might just be pure stupidity on his part.

[Anonymous]

Maybe about 18 years ago I was speaking with a customer on his front porch, he was probably about 75 or 80 and he mentioned that a woman had moved in next-door to him. I knew he lived alone so I said “hey that’s good news for you, right?” He curled up his lip then shook his head and said no, she looks to be about 70. Seeing the puzzled look on my face he then said “my eyes are still 23 years old“

His reply made some sense then and it really does now. I don’t know if this is exactly the case but the images and women you see and meet during your formative or most sexual years are kind of where your preferences might stay. My wife is 49, I find her extraordinarily attractive but I’m not 100% sure if my 22-year-old self would feel the same way.

For the record I have a second Instagram account that my wife knows about and she has one as well; I am never going to get anywhere with any of the girls I follow and she probably isn’t going to get drilled by the guy who does acro yoga.

Relax, it’s just pictures.

[Anonymous]

It’s one thing to follow hot babes you don’t know. It’s another to have sought out or to have her have sought out her significantly older, married client, who isn’t even her client, and is someone she sees in the flesh weekly. Yes, it’s weird and I’d want to know how it came to be, and I’d want to know if they’d been messaging.

[Anonymous]

NBD. I signed up to IG so I can follow some environmental discussions and 1/2 of the dads from my prior neighborhood started following me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The girl doesn’t have many followers on IG and only follows 200 people herself, which is why I thought it very odd my husband was one of them. Yes he may see her every week in the salon, but following on IG brings it to a personal level. Her posts on IG are selfies of herself and bikini pics.

Also, this is NOT his actual hairdresser, it’s just a random chick who works the front desk.

I’ll ask him about it, but am 100% sure he’ll make an excuse for it, which is why I wanted to check my intuition here first.

Asking him is the important step here. Let us know what he says.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what a middle aged man is doing on Instagram in the first place.

What kind of stuff does she post? Sexy pictures? (Probably not if she doesn't have many followers). Pics of her dog? It could be harmless. But again, I think men who are active on Instagram, (with some exceptions, like if they're photographers or chefs or dog walkers) are losers.

I don't think this post received enough mockery.

You don't think it matters if she's posting herself in lingerie or if she's posting travel photos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NBD. I signed up to IG so I can follow some environmental discussions and 1/2 of the dads from my prior neighborhood started following me.

Totally the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The girl doesn’t have many followers on IG and only follows 200 people herself, which is why I thought it very odd my husband was one of them. Yes he may see her every week in the salon, but following on IG brings it to a personal level. Her posts on IG are selfies of herself and bikini pics.

Also, this is NOT his actual hairdresser, it’s just a random chick who works the front desk.

I’ll ask him about it, but am 100% sure he’ll make an excuse for it, which is why I wanted to check my intuition here first.

OP, I'm a DP from much earlier who is on your side and finds the IG following to be inappropriate. Not "blow up your marriage this instant!" bad but inappropriate.

When I checked back and saw this post I noted what's in bold above. Unless he's required to wear a super short military style buzz cut....What man is going to a salon every single week during a pandemic? I'm sure some posters will come to argue that tons of men get a weekly trim, I guess, pandemic be damned, but....well, that just jumped out at me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The girl doesn’t have many followers on IG and only follows 200 people herself, which is why I thought it very odd my husband was one of them. Yes he may see her every week in the salon, but following on IG brings it to a personal level. Her posts on IG are selfies of herself and bikini pics.

Also, this is NOT his actual hairdresser, it’s just a random chick who works the front desk.

I’ll ask him about it, but am 100% sure he’ll make an excuse for it, which is why I wanted to check my intuition here first.

I agree it's inappropriate and annoying, but do you ever look up people on IG? For example, some of the moms on DS's soccer team team follow the coach, who is a very good looking 20-something and knows it, so of course there are some shirtless pictures on his IG. I mean, I admit to have looked at his public IG before, but I don't follow him or anyone that would upset my DH or lead him to ask people's opinions about my behavior online. I love my DH too much to do something silly like that, and he's sensitive and I know it. Some loving husbands are just really dumb though. It might be a red flag, and it might just be pure stupidity on his part.

How dare you appreciate someone younger and not your spouse. Pervert or pedo or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe about 18 years ago I was speaking with a customer on his front porch, he was probably about 75 or 80 and he mentioned that a woman had moved in next-door to him. I knew he lived alone so I said “hey that’s good news for you, right?” He curled up his lip then shook his head and said no, she looks to be about 70. Seeing the puzzled look on my face he then said “my eyes are still 23 years old“

His reply made some sense then and it really does now. I don’t know if this is exactly the case but the images and women you see and meet during your formative or most sexual years are kind of where your preferences might stay. My wife is 49, I find her extraordinarily attractive but I’m not 100% sure if my 22-year-old self would feel the same way.

For the record I have a second Instagram account that my wife knows about and she has one as well; I am never going to get anywhere with any of the girls I follow and she probably isn’t going to get drilled by the guy who does acro yoga.

Relax, it’s just pictures.

Not OP, but it's one thing to follow someone whom you know and see in real life, who isn't really known to you in any way and isn't posting anything beyond selifes and bikini shots (which OP said is all that's on this girl's IG). It's another thing to follow celebrities or models or athletes or other types of professionals. Which are you and your wife following on your accounts? I follow a couple of actors, one charity organization, a podcast and some visual artists who post pictures of their paintings etc. I don't follow (if he has an account, I don't know) the adorable guy who was a trainer at the gym. Just no reason, cute though he was.
I see a difference, maybe you don't, but OP definitely would see the difference there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: The girl doesn’t have many followers on IG and only follows 200 people herself, which is why I thought it very odd my husband was one of them. Yes he may see her every week in the salon, but following on IG brings it to a personal level. Her posts on IG are selfies of herself and bikini pics.

Also, this is NOT his actual hairdresser, it’s just a random chick who works the front desk.

I’ll ask him about it, but am 100% sure he’ll make an excuse for it, which is why I wanted to check my intuition here first.

OP, I'm a DP from much earlier who is on your side and finds the IG following to be inappropriate. Not "blow up your marriage this instant!" bad but inappropriate.

When I checked back and saw this post I noted what's in bold above. Unless he's required to wear a super short military style buzz cut....What man is going to a salon every single week during a pandemic? I'm sure some posters will come to argue that tons of men get a weekly trim, I guess, pandemic be damned, but....well, that just jumped out at me.

Yeah. Already discussed. Try reading the thread.