Why do some men get married early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best ones get snapped up quickly.

I agree with this. No, you don’t have to be married at 22 and I think there are serious downsides to getting married too early for many people, but if you wait until mid 30s to find a suitable partner you will have a harder time finding someone who shares your values. This applies to people who value marriage, children, and building a life together.

Yup, this! The dating pool doesn't look so good once you hit mid 30's.

Probably there is a dip between 35-45 when most people are in their first marriage, and it opens up after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Consider the single men, in their mid 30s and up, that you know right now. How does their life seem? Question answered.

Haha this is so true.

As a woman in her early 50's, this is very true. Many of these men (and some women) are still single partiers in their 40's and 50's too. It's pathetic.

There's an icky vibe on this thread from some men who are angry that women didn't want them in their 20's and 30's and now they get to do all the rejecting in their 40's. These men will never make good husbands and fathers because they're so butter towards women. Meanwhile the hot guy all the girls wanted in HS and college who these men are jealous of settled down and had a family, so they never have what he has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best ones get snapped up quickly.

I agree with this. No, you don’t have to be married at 22 and I think there are serious downsides to getting married too early for many people, but if you wait until mid 30s to find a suitable partner you will have a harder time finding someone who shares your values. This applies to people who value marriage, children, and building a life together.

Yup, this! The dating pool doesn't look so good once you hit mid 30's.

Probably there is a dip between 35-45 when most people are in their first marriage, and it opens up after that.

Yes usually, but then those people (men and women) have the baggage of a ex-spouse and kids. My sister is adamant about not dealing with an ex-wife, or parenting step kids, so her dating pool is small. She has good reason due to difficulty with a stalking ex-wife in her past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best ones get snapped up quickly.

I agree with this. No, you don’t have to be married at 22 and I think there are serious downsides to getting married too early for many people, but if you wait until mid 30s to find a suitable partner you will have a harder time finding someone who shares your values. This applies to people who value marriage, children, and building a life together.

Yup, this! The dating pool doesn't look so good once you hit mid 30's.

Probably there is a dip between 35-45 when most people are in their first marriage, and it opens up after that.

One issue is that most people who want kids get married and have their first kid before that 45 year old mark. So the ones who are still single in their late 30's+ either don't want kids or are going to have trouble finding a good partner to build a family with. Finding a divorced guy with kids to start a second family with is almost always a bad idea. Maybe it could work if someone wants to be a step parent without having their own kids, but that's a hard type to find.

So we're back to it's really hard to find a good partner once you're mid 30's+.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

That’s common throughout most of the country and world.

Personal, place, timing.

If American he had the balls to trust himself that this was The Woman for him. Not one of those wushu washy types who propose to whomever they happen to be dating when they are 30 yo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The best ones get snapped up quickly.

I agree with this. No, you don’t have to be married at 22 and I think there are serious downsides to getting married too early for many people, but if you wait until mid 30s to find a suitable partner you will have a harder time finding someone who shares your values. This applies to people who value marriage, children, and building a life together.

Yup, this! The dating pool doesn't look so good once you hit mid 30's.

Probably there is a dip between 35-45 when most people are in their first marriage, and it opens up after that.

One issue is that most people who want kids get married and have their first kid before that 45 year old mark. So the ones who are still single in their late 30's+ either don't want kids or are going to have trouble finding a good partner to build a family with. Finding a divorced guy with kids to start a second family with is almost always a bad idea. Maybe it could work if someone wants to be a step parent without having their own kids, but that's a hard type to find.

So we're back to it's really hard to find a good partner once you're mid 30's+.

Are we talking about women or men? I know a lot of guys who dumped their starter marriage in their late 30s (no kids) and were remarried to a younger woman, started having their kids in late 30s/early 40s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

That’s common throughout most of the country and world.

Personal, place, timing.

If American he had the balls to trust himself that this was The Woman for him. Not one of those wushu washy types who propose to whomever they happen to be dating when they are 30 yo.

Why do people struggle so much to understand that a loving happy marriage can be the preferred choice for a man, when compared to the fun single life? both can be great. But its not crazy to think that some men prefer a family life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

That’s common throughout most of the country and world.

Personal, place, timing.

If American he had the balls to trust himself that this was The Woman for him. Not one of those wushu washy types who propose to whomever they happen to be dating when they are 30 yo.

Why do people struggle so much to understand that a loving happy marriage can be the preferred choice for a man, when compared to the fun single life? both can be great. But its not crazy to think that some men prefer a family life.

+1. I know there’s this opinion out there that all men want to date around and party as long as they can, but I genuinely haven’t found this to be true. There are men like this but I don’t really understand the attitude that all men are dragged into family life. Personally, I know many men that, by mid to late 20s, were very ready to settle down and were tired of swiping and going out to bars. It’s nice to have someone you love to come home to, both women and men feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

Statistically speaking, men who are successful in terms of education and wealth get married younger than other men.

Maybe they think the "fun single life" is overrated. (It is.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think men at age 25 have any idea how great the dating market becomes between ages 32-40 for them. So that's part of it.

Maybe they know who they want to spend their lives with and don't think in terms of the "market."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a successful, charismatic, handsome 25 yr old woman whose same-aged partner wanted to put a ring on it before someone else did.

+1

I was 26 and husband was 24 when we met. He never wanted to marry until 30. Realized he was never going to do better. We are 50 now. Two handsome teenagers and wealthy as f@ck. Sex is still hot as hell.

This really isn't something to be proud of but, if you are happy

[Anonymous]

DH and I met when we were 23 and 24. We got engaged at 26/27 and married at 28/29.

I had our kids at age 30, 32 and 38. We are now in our 40s and enjoying our family life.

Most people we know got married in their late 20s or early 30s.

BIL is 32 and single. He wants to get married and have a family but hasn’t found the right woman yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think marrying late is a DC phenomena. I feel bad for people in their 40’s who have young children. It’s a great feeling to have an empty nest before you even hit 50.

Great point.

It's also tons of being able to keep up with my teenage kids as we shoot hoops or do anything athletic. Both kids will be out of the house before I turn 47.

Wouldn't change it AT ALL.

Sure, missed out on some happy hours and trips in our late 20s and 30s. But the pay-off in the 40s was totally worth it

Plenty of us are loving and excelling at “keeping up with” our younger kids in our 40’s, so get over yourselves. You are not special or better at life because you got married and had kids young. These things happen for people at different times due to various life circumstances, including luck, so don’t be so smug. If anything I have noticed that people in their 40s with young kids seem much younger than people their same age who are empty nesters. The kids are keeping them young I guess.

Relax. PP was clearly talking about keeping up with their teen kids in athletics.

Its way different to play one-on-one basketball with a 15 years old when you're 41 compared to when your 55.

Only if you're in poor health which most of the people I know who had kids mid to late 30s aren't in bad health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I still can’t believe that people are arguing that when you have kids determines the quality of parent you are.

People especially the people who post on DCUM will argue anything to make themselves feel superior to others.

Nobody said that! They said it is a trade off of energy/time to travel and go out comes before kids or if that is cut short the time comes after kids but earlier than those that started later. If anything people are stating their own personal reasons and why they are happy while the insecure chime in with "NO!"

I guess marrying early squished some of your brain cells because your reading comprehension is lacking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?