Why do some men get married early?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

Yes, when all of the people who got married too young get divorced in their 30s and 40s, there are “options” again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

Because people married too early and realized that they weren’t as “super” as they looked on paper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

Yes, when all of the people who got married too young get divorced in their 30s and 40s, there are “options” again.

Sure, but if your goal is to get married and have kids your options are limited, especially if you don’t want the baggage of an ex spouse and step kids.

[Anonymous]

I think most stable people crave connection and want to establish a nuclear family (with or without kids). You have more options in your late 20s because this is when these people find each other and couple up. Of course there are some great people that marry late but there are simply fewer of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

That’s common throughout most of the country and world.

Personal, place, timing.

If American he had the balls to trust himself that this was The Woman for him. Not one of those wushu washy types who propose to whomever they happen to be dating when they are 30 yo.

Why do people struggle so much to understand that a loving happy marriage can be the preferred choice for a man, when compared to the fun single life? both can be great. But its not crazy to think that some men prefer a family life.

+1. I know there’s this opinion out there that all men want to date around and party as long as they can, but I genuinely haven’t found this to be true. There are men like this but I don’t really understand the attitude that all men are dragged into family life. Personally, I know many men that, by mid to late 20s, were very ready to settle down and were tired of swiping and going out to bars. It’s nice to have someone you love to come home to, both women and men feel this way.

Yep totally agree PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

Yes, when all of the people who got married too young get divorced in their 30s and 40s, there are “options” again.

What's stopping a high quality guy in his mid 30's from dating never married women in their 20's?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

Yes, when all of the people who got married too young get divorced in their 30s and 40s, there are “options” again.

What's stopping a high quality guy in his mid 30's from dating never married women in their 20's?

Again, it’s not that is not possible, it’s that there are fewer options. Most people seek to marry someone closer in age. He could date women 10-15 years younger but there are many women in that category that would exclude themselves from his dating pool as they are looking for someone younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

I am late to this thread, but I think how you have framed this question is telling. You think being single is "fun" and being married I guess isn't.

I got married at 25, my wife was 22. I knew very well that my dating "stock" would continue to rise at least into my thirties but that obviously wasn't what I was thinking about. I loved my wife and wanted to get married. I have no regrets. I did the college thing. I had been in a couple of long term serious relationships. I knew enough to know that my wife and I were a good match. We have traveled the world together. We have wonderful kids. We have both been successful in our careers, and we have done it all together.

What would I trade that away for? Dating absolutely had its moments, and I certainly get the appeal of the prospect of more variety, etc, but there was also so much BS and wasted energy. I can't imagine giving up what I have had just for the chance to roll the dice a few dozen more times.

There will always be the possibility of something a little bit better out there I suppose, but an inability to recognize when you have something special is ultimately self destructive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see some successful, handsome, charismatic guys getting hitched mid-late 20's. Why do this when you can easily wait another 10 years while living the fun single life and will probably be even more attractive to women by your mid-late 30's?

I am late to this thread, but I think how you have framed this question is telling. You think being single is "fun" and being married I guess isn't.

I got married at 25, my wife was 22. I knew very well that my dating "stock" would continue to rise at least into my thirties but that obviously wasn't what I was thinking about. I loved my wife and wanted to get married. I have no regrets. I did the college thing. I had been in a couple of long term serious relationships. I knew enough to know that my wife and I were a good match. We have traveled the world together. We have wonderful kids. We have both been successful in our careers, and we have done it all together.

What would I trade that away for? Dating absolutely had its moments, and I certainly get the appeal of the prospect of more variety, etc, but there was also so much BS and wasted energy. I can't imagine giving up what I have had just for the chance to roll the dice a few dozen more times.

There will always be the possibility of something a little bit better out there I suppose, but an inability to recognize when you have something special is ultimately self destructive.

This is where the thread should end. So well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

Yes, when all of the people who got married too young get divorced in their 30s and 40s, there are “options” again.

What's stopping a high quality guy in his mid 30's from dating never married women in their 20's?

Again, it’s not that is not possible, it’s that there are fewer options. Most people seek to marry someone closer in age. He could date women 10-15 years younger but there are many women in that category that would exclude themselves from his dating pool as they are looking for someone younger.

+1. I would not have dated a man 10 years older than me in my twenties. Most women are interested in same age men. Also I would find it weird that a good looking man in his mid-30s would 1) still be single 2) not dating someone in the same stage of life. At 25 I was already dating my now husband who happens to be a few years younger than me. Why would I be interested in a 35 year old? I do know a few men who waited too long thinking they can get a better catch later in life and are now having a hard time finding someone good enough.

[Anonymous]

I do question the idea that a man’s dating options necessarily expand as he gets older. Or, if they do, I wonder if it’s kind of a “the odds are good but the goods are odd” situation.

At 35, it’s not as though all women his age or younger are automatically interested. Women his age are likely married or possibly divorced with young kids (which adds complexity to the relationship) and I would think it’s often a specific subset of 20-25 year old women that are interested in dating a significantly older man who put off settling down to “have fun”.

Most stable, attractive, successful younger women are looking to date their male equivalents. I think, naturally, they tend to couple up while in college/grad school or among circles of friends from their general age cohort.

I suppose it would make sense to wait as a very awkward man who is not attractive to women his age but it seems to me that an attractive, ambitious man would have more quality options in his 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do have 2 young cousins who married around age 20. They both went into the military were it's the only way you can stay together as you get moved around. They both divorced by 23. Thankfully neither of them were dumb enough to have kids first, so that's good news.

Interesting I thought all the best men and husbands were snatched up in their 20s why would anyone divorce a super husband?

I think a lot of people (good and bad) are married in their 20s. Waiting much later limits your options.

It's a false that you have more options in your 20 s

Yes, when all of the people who got married too young get divorced in their 30s and 40s, there are “options” again.

What's stopping a high quality guy in his mid 30's from dating never married women in their 20's?

Again, it’s not that is not possible, it’s that there are fewer options. Most people seek to marry someone closer in age. He could date women 10-15 years younger but there are many women in that category that would exclude themselves from his dating pool as they are looking for someone younger.

+1. I would not have dated a man 10 years older than me in my twenties. Most women are interested in same age men. Also I would find it weird that a good looking man in his mid-30s would 1) still be single 2) not dating someone in the same stage of life. At 25 I was already dating my now husband who happens to be a few years younger than me. Why would I be interested in a 35 year old? I do know a few men who waited too long thinking they can get a better catch later in life and are now having a hard time finding someone good enough.

I know a couple men who also did this. Mid-late 30s and they are frustrated that the only women that want to date them are “single moms and gold digger party girls”. I think they are both hoping a pretty, well adjusted 27y/o will want to date them but those women are all already in relationships with handsome, well adjusted men their age. I really think they would have had better luck if they had been ready to date seriously 5-10 years ago.

[Anonymous]

I worked at an investment bank in my later 20s early 30s. Every single one of my male peers were either married or in LTR. There was simply no time to spend on dating relationship dramas. The smart guys and gals got into relationships that worked and stayed in them. The rest of us stayed single and got together after we left the bank