SIL Said My Parenting Is “ Cold”.

[Anonymous]

I still cuddle and put our 4yo daughter to sleep. She is our third and last child.

Sorry, you do sound a bit cold. I would think it but not say it to your face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the posts but it is SO child dependent that you should not get smug. My second child was a beautiful sleeper from day 1. They got worried in the hospital because she slept so long but she was gaining weight properly so we let her sleep and made sure she ate a lot during the day. She was always put down sleepy but awake in her crib because I also had a 2 year old to deal with, and - again - that worked for her. She never had to be sleep trained and was sleeping 5+ hours at a time since she was a few weeks old. I felt guilty because I was so well-rested as a mom to a newborn and toddler.

My oldest, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night until he was 8 months old and was miserable with naps. Every kid is different.

BTW, now at 4, my perfect sleeper has been waking us almost nightly for 6+ months now with nightmares, and the oldest is a fantastic sleeper. It can all change on a dime.

+1. My horrible sleeper who never slept through the night until 2+, is now my best sleeper by far! At 6, she hasn’t woken up once in 3 years (even when sick). My first, who slept on her own through the night at 6 months, wakes up a lot more (though not regularly) because of nightmares, or because she can’t sleep, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the posts but it is SO child dependent that you should not get smug. My second child was a beautiful sleeper from day 1. They got worried in the hospital because she slept so long but she was gaining weight properly so we let her sleep and made sure she ate a lot during the day. She was always put down sleepy but awake in her crib because I also had a 2 year old to deal with, and - again - that worked for her. She never had to be sleep trained and was sleeping 5+ hours at a time since she was a few weeks old. I felt guilty because I was so well-rested as a mom to a newborn and toddler.

My oldest, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night until he was 8 months old and was miserable with naps. Every kid is different.

BTW, now at 4, my perfect sleeper has been waking us almost nightly for 6+ months now with nightmares, and the oldest is a fantastic sleeper. It can all change on a dime.

This x 1000!

My first was also a great sleeper. Right from the start, we were getting 5-6 hour stretches between feedings. The Ped said it was fine as long as weight gain continued, so we let her sleep. She was also easy to put down for sleep and fell asleep quickly. In my head, I was crushing the mom game. Those people who were functioning on 2 and 3 hours of sleep didn't know how to do it properly, clearly... and then I had #2.

Number two humbled me and taught me I didn't know shiiiiiii. I wasn't a first time mom killing with #1... I just got unbelievably lucky.

My kid #1 is now 20 and my kid #2 is 18, and they are still SO much like their little baby selves. #1 is super independent, likes order and having a schedule, and pretty much keeps to a normal sleeping schedule (as much as college allows). #2 is chaotic energy... his sleeping schedule is insane, too. His instagram story from last week was him waking at 5 am to go to the gym to to use the good machines in peace & quiet, back to his dorm for a "nap" before his first class at 9 am, lunch at 10:30, classes until 3, a five mile run, a nap before dinner at 8 pm, and then doing work until the early morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op sounds positively insufferable. You don’t even know what you’re talking about. You’ve been a parent for all of what, 12 weeks? Come back and talk to us once you hit the sleep regressions, multiple rounds of teething, a case or RSV, and the stomach flu and let us know how those 11 hour stretches are going.

Also, I did Taking Cara Babies. It worked for 12 weeks and I was a convert - my first had been a nightmare sleeper so I thought I had it all figured out with number two. Never mind those 11 hour stretches meant his weight dropped from 80 to 45th percentile - he was sleeping. Except then we had to stop swaddling when he could roll, and it ALL went to hell. He started waking up all the time. Literally. And the TCB for the next period literally does not work. It’s not some special newborn formula like her first guide. It’s a huge waste of 300 bucks of whatever that old wanna be influencer and Trump loving evangelical wing nut is charging.

News flash: any time you think you as a parent have solved some major problem or figured something out, your kid will eventually say, hold my beer.

OP here. Don’t bring politics into this. I don’t care what you think of the lady or your politics. We took the class because many of our friends did bad recommended it.

My baby has not dropped any weight. He has continued to gain weight at a normal pace. My baby does not use a swaddle. He uses a sleep sack with his arms fully out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also had a firm routine with my first baby that we started about 12 weeks. It wasn’t tied to times, but I knew my kid had about a 90 minute window of wakefulness in between naps. I learned her cues and was able to lay her in her crib when she was drowsy, but awake. But it was also true that my baby did not like cuddling very much. In other words: I lucked out. Once she could tell the difference, she much preferred her crib to my arms for sleeping.

But nobody would ever think I was a cold mom because when she was awake, there was so much attention and affection between us. We read books and did lots of floor play. I would wear her around the house while I cooked or did laundry, with me talking to her the entire time. We didn’t have a car so we would do errands by bus with her in our ergo. Lots of kisses and smiles. As long as you are doing that, OP, you are fine. Ignore your SIL.

My second baby was completely different with completely different sleep needs. Nothing in their sleep habits were the same and I had to adjust my expectations and routines. We figured it out, but it was humbling.

OP here. We spend all of his awake time doing the things you mentioned. We do tummy time, “ play” with toys, reading, taking him for walks, talking to him, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the posts but it is SO child dependent that you should not get smug. My second child was a beautiful sleeper from day 1. They got worried in the hospital because she slept so long but she was gaining weight properly so we let her sleep and made sure she ate a lot during the day. She was always put down sleepy but awake in her crib because I also had a 2 year old to deal with, and - again - that worked for her. She never had to be sleep trained and was sleeping 5+ hours at a time since she was a few weeks old. I felt guilty because I was so well-rested as a mom to a newborn and toddler.

My oldest, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night until he was 8 months old and was miserable with naps. Every kid is different.

BTW, now at 4, my perfect sleeper has been waking us almost nightly for 6+ months now with nightmares, and the oldest is a fantastic sleeper. It can all change on a dime.

This has nothing to do with OPs post. Her post is about sleep training, not having a good sleeper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the posts but it is SO child dependent that you should not get smug. My second child was a beautiful sleeper from day 1. They got worried in the hospital because she slept so long but she was gaining weight properly so we let her sleep and made sure she ate a lot during the day. She was always put down sleepy but awake in her crib because I also had a 2 year old to deal with, and - again - that worked for her. She never had to be sleep trained and was sleeping 5+ hours at a time since she was a few weeks old. I felt guilty because I was so well-rested as a mom to a newborn and toddler.

My oldest, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night until he was 8 months old and was miserable with naps. Every kid is different.

BTW, now at 4, my perfect sleeper has been waking us almost nightly for 6+ months now with nightmares, and the oldest is a fantastic sleeper. It can all change on a dime.

+1. My horrible sleeper who never slept through the night until 2+, is now my best sleeper by far! At 6, she hasn’t woken up once in 3 years (even when sick). My first, who slept on her own through the night at 6 months, wakes up a lot more (though not regularly) because of nightmares, or because she can’t sleep, etc.

So want? This has nothing to do with what OP asked. She doesn’t care about your kid sleeping through the night. Her post is about sleep training. Why does every poster turn a thread into it being about them when the topic has nothing to do with what they’re even talking about? It’s annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the posts but it is SO child dependent that you should not get smug. My second child was a beautiful sleeper from day 1. They got worried in the hospital because she slept so long but she was gaining weight properly so we let her sleep and made sure she ate a lot during the day. She was always put down sleepy but awake in her crib because I also had a 2 year old to deal with, and - again - that worked for her. She never had to be sleep trained and was sleeping 5+ hours at a time since she was a few weeks old. I felt guilty because I was so well-rested as a mom to a newborn and toddler.

My oldest, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night until he was 8 months old and was miserable with naps. Every kid is different.

BTW, now at 4, my perfect sleeper has been waking us almost nightly for 6+ months now with nightmares, and the oldest is a fantastic sleeper. It can all change on a dime.

This x 1000!

My first was also a great sleeper. Right from the start, we were getting 5-6 hour stretches between feedings. The Ped said it was fine as long as weight gain continued, so we let her sleep. She was also easy to put down for sleep and fell asleep quickly. In my head, I was crushing the mom game. Those people who were functioning on 2 and 3 hours of sleep didn't know how to do it properly, clearly... and then I had #2.

Number two humbled me and taught me I didn't know shiiiiiii. I wasn't a first time mom killing with #1... I just got unbelievably lucky.

My kid #1 is now 20 and my kid #2 is 18, and they are still SO much like their little baby selves. #1 is super independent, likes order and having a schedule, and pretty much keeps to a normal sleeping schedule (as much as college allows). #2 is chaotic energy... his sleeping schedule is insane, too. His instagram story from last week was him waking at 5 am to go to the gym to to use the good machines in peace & quiet, back to his dorm for a "nap" before his first class at 9 am, lunch at 10:30, classes until 3, a five mile run, a nap before dinner at 8 pm, and then doing work until the early morning.

This has nothing to do with the topic. OP posted about sleep training, not your kid eventually sleeping through the night.

[Anonymous]

Every parent has their own style. You do you.

[Anonymous]

The real answer is always to stop caring about what others think. But I'm guessing you aren't there yet since you're posting to DCUM wanting approval. I mean this kindly, it's better for you to work toward not caring. Parenting is a long slog. You'll need this ability at every step.

[Anonymous]

OP you are so smug, can’t wait for the sleep regressions to hit you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are so smug, can’t wait for the sleep regressions to hit you.

She sleep trained. You can sleep train a baby again during a sleep regression.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP. You sure do have a lot of free time to post on DCUM for someone with a small baby. Shouldn't you be enjoying all those "cuddles and playtime" you give?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read all the posts but it is SO child dependent that you should not get smug. My second child was a beautiful sleeper from day 1. They got worried in the hospital because she slept so long but she was gaining weight properly so we let her sleep and made sure she ate a lot during the day. She was always put down sleepy but awake in her crib because I also had a 2 year old to deal with, and - again - that worked for her. She never had to be sleep trained and was sleeping 5+ hours at a time since she was a few weeks old. I felt guilty because I was so well-rested as a mom to a newborn and toddler.

My oldest, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night until he was 8 months old and was miserable with naps. Every kid is different.

BTW, now at 4, my perfect sleeper has been waking us almost nightly for 6+ months now with nightmares, and the oldest is a fantastic sleeper. It can all change on a dime.

This x 1000!

My first was also a great sleeper. Right from the start, we were getting 5-6 hour stretches between feedings. The Ped said it was fine as long as weight gain continued, so we let her sleep. She was also easy to put down for sleep and fell asleep quickly. In my head, I was crushing the mom game. Those people who were functioning on 2 and 3 hours of sleep didn't know how to do it properly, clearly... and then I had #2.

Number two humbled me and taught me I didn't know shiiiiiii. I wasn't a first time mom killing with #1... I just got unbelievably lucky.

My kid #1 is now 20 and my kid #2 is 18, and they are still SO much like their little baby selves. #1 is super independent, likes order and having a schedule, and pretty much keeps to a normal sleeping schedule (as much as college allows). #2 is chaotic energy... his sleeping schedule is insane, too. His instagram story from last week was him waking at 5 am to go to the gym to to use the good machines in peace & quiet, back to his dorm for a "nap" before his first class at 9 am, lunch at 10:30, classes until 3, a five mile run, a nap before dinner at 8 pm, and then doing work until the early morning.

This has nothing to do with the topic. OP posted about sleep training, not your kid eventually sleeping through the night.

Yes it does. (NP) OP thinks her "training" is necessary and justified for her baby to sleep well. Perhaps yes, perhaps no, but certainly her baby's temperament and sleep habits are at least partially out of her control and likely to change sometime in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you chose to CIO before the recommended age of 3-4 months, that could definitely seem cold to people.

+1

Sleep training a newborn seems cold to me, and ignorant of infant development. However I wouldn’t tell you that to your face in your home. I know plenty of parents who do as you do.