Husband Is Adamant I Breastfeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a newborn and I don’t have a strong desire to breastfeed. It’s going well for the part but I don’t like it. I would be more comfortable switching to formula. My husband is obsessed with me breastfeeding because he wants to give the baby as much immunize support as possible during this time. He suggested I pump if I don’t want to nurse. I tried a couple days of pumping and it’s better for some reasons but still a lot of work. He’s a great husband who lets me make most of the decisions or doesn’t care but he’s very adamant with this one. He is very involved and has been doing everything he can to make things easier for me to nurse or pump. I still just don’t want to and hate having to breastfeed.

I breastfed DC1 for 6 months and DC2 for 14 months. Guess who gets colds all the time - yup, DC2.

[Anonymous]

All these people saying it gets easier -- that is your experience; it's not universal. I breastfed my first for 4 months and it didn't get easier; in fact, it got harder because I hit a wall.

OP, do what you want. This is your decision. Your baby will be fine either way.

And my anecdote -- I didn't breastfeed my second at all. Both kids are very healthy teenagers, rarely get sick, and if anything the second is smarter and more motivated than the first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is also a great guy who felt super strongly about breast milk. It was really important to him. I told him I'd stick it out for 6 weeks and then we'd reconsider. You know what? It got way easier after 6 weeks. The first month is hard, then it gets so much easier than bottles. I ended up nursing all three of my children way longer than planned.

Can you agree to suck it up for another month? Do it because you love your husband and this is important to him? And then if it's no longer working for you agree to transition out?

This is what I would do. You agree to stick with it for a few more weeks, at 6 weeks, you re-evaluate, and he agrees not to pressure you to extend it past that.

[Anonymous]

I EBF for 5.5 months and then did a mix of formula and breastfeeding for a few additional months. MY SIL EBF for a year. My daughter has had like 2 colds and my niece has had more than a dozen. EBFing or BFing is not the be all end all. Your child will not magically be OK. Just like if you EBF your child will not magically not have reflux. Breastfeeding is great, but it's not a panacea. Your child can still get sick, still have reflux, still be overweight as a child/adult... We need to stop telling people that if they don't breastfeed their kids lives will be worse for it. It's not true.

[Anonymous]

He better grow some tits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand his feelings, however you don't get to be "adamant" about what another person does with their body. You don't get to insist that your spouse allow your baby to eat from their body.

I would try to do it as long as you can. Maybe talk to the ped. about the earliest recommended point to stop. FYI both my kids self weaned at about 4 months. They just weren't interested in it anymore.

Also imagine how horrible you will feel if you stop and the baby does catch something. And how that could impact your relationship.

I respect your choice, so should he, and I would try to compromise as long as I could.

It is his child, too. He gets a say!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your body….your decision.

Yes, but he counts too.

Sure, when he grows a set of boobs that can produce milk.

But isn’t it his baby too?

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the hostile posters who push breastfeeding. Many of our kids are FF and just fine. For covid, behavior is equally important. I would do both. BF a few times a day and do formula a few times a day and have a flexible baby and then when you ease off BF, baby will have no issue with a bottle or formula. The bonus is Dad can bond with baby during FF time.

[Anonymous]

Fed is best. I had a really hard time breastfeeding at first, but my husband really, really wanted me to stick with it. I did and ended up going 18 months and am happy I did, but I have still harbor some resentment around the first few months or so. I hated those early days, pumping at work was awful, and I never slept well. The mother's mental health is important too and that can be hard to advocate for when you have a newborn.

I agree with talking to the pediatrician with both of you there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly given covid I would try to give your baby more covid antibodies (Assuming you got vaxxed?)

OP here. I am but I heard that you have to breastfeed indefinitely, not just for a couple of months, to pass down immunity. I will be home for 4, possibly 6 months, and he wants me to breastfeed since I will be home.

Good God. A maternity leave doesn't mean you have to breastfeed. We have one year mat leaves in Canada and I didn't even try breastfeeding. Your DH is controlling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly given covid I would try to give your baby more covid antibodies (Assuming you got vaxxed?)

OP here. I am but I heard that you have to breastfeed indefinitely, not just for a couple of months, to pass down immunity. I will be home for 4, possibly 6 months, and he wants me to breastfeed since I will be home.

Good God. A maternity leave doesn't mean you have to breastfeed. We have one year mat leaves in Canada and I didn't even try breastfeeding. Your DH is controlling

Tell him to do it.

[Anonymous]

I think that DH is the OP…
I am sure the wife would not present the same picture.

Sorry OP… it’s her choice. I also hated it and pumped until babies were 4-6 months because I had a lot of help and wanted to do it for my babies… it was a big sacrifice for me and I would not have done it for my DH

[Anonymous]

I EBF and nursed for 18 months and: you do not have nurse if you do not want to. Well controlled studies show the benefits to the baby are negligible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn't get a vote. I would breastfeed if I were you for the first three months to help build various immunities (not just covid but also flu etc.) but I don't get a vote either. This is entirely your choice.

Why doesn’t he get a vote? Isn’t marriage a partnership?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m going to give it until 6 weeks and then see his it goes. I may quit earlier than that though. I’m going to stick with breastfeeding because pumping is too much work.