Husband Is Adamant I Breastfeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

It’s not his call unless he’s producing milk from his own nipples.

Welcome to self-esteem and not choosing to be a mommy martyr!

NP. This is such a flippant answer. My DH would have LOVED to be the pregnant one, and would have loved to bf. Some guys just love being dads. Since the dad is doing EVERYTHING, I don’t feel that this a control issue, but a supportive partner who feels strongly about the real benefits of bf.

OP, I agree with the pp who said give it four more weeks.

I have done both full bf and full formula. BF is harder now, but it’s so, so, so much easier later. Give it a try for Future You. Future You might prefer to just rush out the door with a diaper and wipes, rather than also packing bottles of water and formula. Future You might not want to wash bottles when you can spend that time with your baby. (Six month old humans are the absolute best.) Future You might want the reduction in breast cancer incidence among moms who bf at least two years. Give Future You four more weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m going to give it until 6 weeks and then see his it goes. I may quit earlier than that though. I’m going to stick with breastfeeding because pumping is too much work.

I want to be on your side, but with every response you get whinier and whinier. Yes. Pumping is work. Bottle feeding is work. Breastfeeding is work. So is feeding a toddler, and potty training, and math homework, and soccer practice...the work never goes away, it just changes and you can't avoid it.

You are two weeks in. Hormones are wild at this point. But you need to take a real step back and work on perspective. Parenting is going to be a long and painful road if you keep going with the attitude that you have.

[Anonymous]

My husband did this too. ugh -- it was awful. i remember coming down the stairs and he and his Ukrainian family were facetiming and discussing my boobs. when he went back to work i started scaling back and my supply went down. i later told him that it was awful the pressure he put me through. fortunately he realized it and when the second came around, there was no pressure and i 100% formula fed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m going to give it until 6 weeks and then see his it goes. I may quit earlier than that though. I’m going to stick with breastfeeding because pumping is too much work.

I want to be on your side, but with every response you get whinier and whinier. Yes. Pumping is work. Bottle feeding is work. Breastfeeding is work. So is feeding a toddler, and potty training, and math homework, and soccer practice...the work never goes away, it just changes and you can't avoid it.

You are two weeks in. Hormones are wild at this point. But you need to take a real step back and work on perspective. Parenting is going to be a long and painful road if you keep going with the attitude that you have.

What are you, the Gordon Ramsay of La Leche? There is overly negative attitude on this thread and someone needs to step back and work on perspective, but it is not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m going to give it until 6 weeks and then see his it goes. I may quit earlier than that though. I’m going to stick with breastfeeding because pumping is too much work.

I want to be on your side, but with every response you get whinier and whinier. Yes. Pumping is work. Bottle feeding is work. Breastfeeding is work. So is feeding a toddler, and potty training, and math homework, and soccer practice...the work never goes away, it just changes and you can't avoid it.

You are two weeks in. Hormones are wild at this point. But you need to take a real step back and work on perspective. Parenting is going to be a long and painful road if you keep going with the attitude that you have.

Your response is terrible. You’re one of those women who wants to make new moms think that some aspect of parenting just has to be a certain way or life has to be hard.

No, breastfeeding is not the same (for most women) as math homework, feeding a toddler etc. It is extremely time consuming and has potentially long lasting effects in terms of the division of family labor. Breastfeeding can be such a burden that there are support groups focused on it. There are even special rooms at work to engage in it. Breastfeeding is very, very hard for many women. I personally found it to be terrible. I felt similar as OP and now have an older child. Nothing has compared to how awful breastfeeding was.

Looking back, breastfeeding ruined my maternity leave and made it hard for me to bond with my child. I wish I had quit much earlier than I did. I started to enjoy my baby and life once I weaned. Never again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH sounds like an awesome father. So at least in that way your kid lucked out.

If your nursing is going on fine but you don't feel like nursing... well, welcome to parenthood. You do things for the welfare of your kids that you may not want to do.

No. Once again, OP does not need to join the martyr mommy cult. If she doesn’t want to breastfeed, she doesn’t have to. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH sounds like an awesome father. So at least in that way your kid lucked out.

If your nursing is going on fine but you don't feel like nursing... well, welcome to parenthood. You do things for the welfare of your kids that you may not want to do.

No. Once again, OP does not need to join the martyr mommy cult. If she doesn’t want to breastfeed, she doesn’t have to. Period.

+1000000

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your DH sounds like an awesome father. So at least in that way your kid lucked out.

If your nursing is going on fine but you don't feel like nursing... well, welcome to parenthood. You do things for the welfare of your kids that you may not want to do.

No. Once again, OP does not need to join the martyr mommy cult. If she doesn’t want to breastfeed, she doesn’t have to. Period.

Solidarity!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

It’s not his call unless he’s producing milk from his own nipples.

Welcome to self-esteem and not choosing to be a mommy martyr!

NP. This is such a flippant answer. My DH would have LOVED to be the pregnant one, and would have loved to bf. Some guys just love being dads. Since the dad is doing EVERYTHING, I don’t feel that this a control issue, but a supportive partner who feels strongly about the real benefits of bf.

OP, I agree with the pp who said give it four more weeks.

I have done both full bf and full formula. BF is harder now, but it’s so, so, so much easier later. Give it a try for Future You. Future You might prefer to just rush out the door with a diaper and wipes, rather than also packing bottles of water and formula. Future You might not want to wash bottles when you can spend that time with your baby. (Six month old humans are the absolute best.) Future You might want the reduction in breast cancer incidence among moms who bf at least two years. Give Future You four more weeks.

Ugh. You Breastfeeding Is Best For All zealots are so tiresome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breast feeding is 5 hours a day. If your DH wants to take that amount of time and work on *extra* cleaning the house and caring for the baby while you do what you want, sure. Otherwise it is your decision.

At least! For me in the beginning breastfeeding took almost 8 hours per day (1 hour per nursing session; baby was slow eater)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m going to give it until 6 weeks and then see his it goes. I may quit earlier than that though. I’m going to stick with breastfeeding because pumping is too much work.

I want to be on your side, but with every response you get whinier and whinier. Yes. Pumping is work. Bottle feeding is work. Breastfeeding is work. So is feeding a toddler, and potty training, and math homework, and soccer practice...the work never goes away, it just changes and you can't avoid it.

You are two weeks in. Hormones are wild at this point. But you need to take a real step back and work on perspective. Parenting is going to be a long and painful road if you keep going with the attitude that you have.

Your response is terrible. You’re one of those women who wants to make new moms think that some aspect of parenting just has to be a certain way or life has to be hard.

No, breastfeeding is not the same (for most women) as math homework, feeding a toddler etc. It is extremely time consuming and has potentially long lasting effects in terms of the division of family labor. Breastfeeding can be such a burden that there are support groups focused on it. There are even special rooms at work to engage in it. Breastfeeding is very, very hard for many women. I personally found it to be terrible. I felt similar as OP and now have an older child. Nothing has compared to how awful breastfeeding was.

Looking back, breastfeeding ruined my maternity leave and made it hard for me to bond with my child. I wish I had quit much earlier than I did. I started to enjoy my baby and life once I weaned. Never again.

I never said hard, I said work. And OP herself has said it's not hard, she just doesn't want to.
I have no skin in this game, I don't care what she does with her body or how she feeds her baby. Nor did I indicate anywhere in my response that I did.

I'm merely pointing out that her attitude seems like it is going to make her life much more difficult in the long run.

[Anonymous]

If you stop at six weeks, you're missing most of the time when breastfeeding is really easier than bottles. BF was very hard for me the first month, but then eventually became very convenient once frequency dropped and baby's mouth was larger and latch was better and we got into better routine. Maternity leaves were nice for outings and not having to pack up formula made the outings easier.

[Anonymous]

At 2 weeks in, you are very much in the new, difficult adjustment phase. If you can, I'd try to stick it out another month. You may find it gets a lot easier. If not, formula will be perfectly fine. You are doing great either way.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't get to choose. And I'm saying this during Covid.

Signed,
Mom of 2

First one breastfed until he was 3
and 2nd is still going strong at 18 months

[Anonymous]

This is your decision and yours alone. If you want to stop, stop. Your husband doesn’t get to be “adamant” about something you alone must do.

(The research on antibodies is also pretty sketchy. Look into it.)