Husband Is Adamant I Breastfeed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your LO?

Sounds like BF is going well. Put in a month, but introduce a bottle right away. Once LO is 4 to 6 weeks old, they've received a huge percentage of the benefit. Transition to formula only.

Tell DH if he can do the BFing he's welcome to, but you're done.

OP here. He has been on a bottle since 3 days old. My husband has been giving him 1-2 bottles a day so I can sleep longer. We do supplement with a bottle of a formula a day because I was worried my milk wouldn’t come in. We have kept it because we have the formula and I don’t have to pump more than once a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly given covid I would try to give your baby more covid antibodies (Assuming you got vaxxed?)

OP here. I am but I heard that you have to breastfeed indefinitely, not just for a couple of months, to pass down immunity. I will be home for 4, possibly 6 months, and he wants me to breastfeed since I will be home.

This isn’t true. You have already passed on a great deal of immunity through colostrum and the first two weeks. If you can give it another few weeks that would be great. Maybe also continue until Covid rates drop, which they should in the coming couple weeks and months.

[Anonymous]

Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

[Anonymous]

Order formula and stop breastfeeding. Your DH is wrong to pressure you. I too hated breastfeeding. Formula was fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breast feeding is 5 hours a day. If your DH wants to take that amount of time and work on *extra* cleaning the house and caring for the baby while you do what you want, sure. Otherwise it is your decision.

OP here. My husband does cook and clean and has been long before having a baby. He has been doing everything he can because he is convinced that our baby should get as much breast milk as possible. He has been making me all of my meals, cleaning, doing all the laundry, washing bottles and pump parts, getting up with baby to feed, etc. He wants me to focus on breastfeeding and has been letting me only do that and sleep so I don’t have to worry about anything else. It still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t like it. He would do the same if I decided to pump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is right OP. It’s not about you anymore. Welcome to motherhood!

Wrong!!!

[Anonymous]

What about the suggestion to talk with the pediatrician?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly given covid I would try to give your baby more covid antibodies (Assuming you got vaxxed?)

OP here. I am but I heard that you have to breastfeed indefinitely, not just for a couple of months, to pass down immunity. I will be home for 4, possibly 6 months, and he wants me to breastfeed since I will be home.

My husband really wanted me to breastfeed. I wasn’t particularly interested. I did eight weeks with first kid and stopped. My husband just didn’t get a vote. I tried again with second kid and lasted two weeks. I hated it and there is no way I was going to pump. If I were you, I would go out, but bottles and formula and just tell him you were done. But my husband isn’t a jerk so he just realized that his opinion simply wasn’t the prevailing one.

OP here. My husband isn’t a jerk. He’s not controlling and is a super supportive guy. He had said he wouldn’t have cared about me not breastfeeding any other time but this is a different time and we should give our baby all the breast milk. Our pediatrician also suggested I stick it out given the pandemic and that it’s cold/flu season.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't get a vote. I would breastfeed if I were you for the first three months to help build various immunities (not just covid but also flu etc.) but I don't get a vote either. This is entirely your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe have a talk together with the pediatrician who can share how the baby will be fine with formula and how the mental health of the mother is essential to bonding. It’s really challenging to have these conversations when you’re sleep deprived and dealing with the newness of being parents. Having a third party might help with that conversation. The pediatrician is focused solely on the baby.

+1 Formula is a perfectly good option, OP, but I understand you and DH are probably struggling to have a fair conversation about it right now with the new baby. The ped is a good resource.

Maybe you can talk to the ped/DH about combo feeding? Would a nursing session or two a day work for you?

OP here. The pediatrician is on his side. She said we should ultimately do what I think is best, but advised us to breastfeed if it’s going well because of the pandemic and cold/flu season.

[Anonymous]

I am as pro-breastfeeding as they come, but am a firm believer that YOU decide the best for YOU. If you don't care for it, it's your decision, not his. I would try to give it a little more time if YOU want to, it's not easy at first.

[Anonymous]

My husband is also a great guy who felt super strongly about breast milk. It was really important to him. I told him I'd stick it out for 6 weeks and then we'd reconsider. You know what? It got way easier after 6 weeks. The first month is hard, then it gets so much easier than bottles. I ended up nursing all three of my children way longer than planned.

Can you agree to suck it up for another month? Do it because you love your husband and this is important to him? And then if it's no longer working for you agree to transition out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about the suggestion to talk with the pediatrician?

Op here. We talked to her and she recommended I breastfeed. She says she only recommends switching to formula if the moms mental health is an issue of if there were breastfeeding issues. I don’t want to breastfeed because I just don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable and I don’t like having to deal with breasts full of milk and the pain. He has taking to nursing and there is no issue. He is gaining weight well. She recommended I give a little longer until I make a decision to quit.

[Anonymous]

Then you should try to do what the pediatrician recommends. Not because your husband wants you to but because this is a sacrifice you are doing for the wellbeing of your child. I agree with others that it will get easier and 2 weeks is not a great frame of mind to be making this decisions.

But I suggest that you continue to do both breastfeeding and formula. Don’t pump. People think its one or the other, but its more common than you’d think to do both. Many moms keep the bedtime feeding for weeks (maybe months) after they have dropped the others. Try doing at least 2 breastfeeding every day - morning and night - and use formula in between.