Men, if you have ever wanted to have an affair but didn't

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

So many stay married, out of fear of the unknown.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Most stable normal people don't want to lose their spouse or kids, over a dirty napkin. In all honesty that's what interlopers are. It would put me in that same category. And I value myself more than that, as well as my family.

I would rather work out a issue, or go to counseling if need be. If it's that bad I would divorce, date down the road. Lastly, I would be scared to death to catch something because if someones willing to cheat with a married person then I assume they've been around the block.

Yep. When they are willing to go from meeting on the Internet to into bed immediately —which is how it works on AM- they have been at this rodeo awhile. Not very discriminating.

Counseling lol. I never understand counseling. You spend tons of money so someone can tell your partner “maybe you should try to have more sex with each other”, but it does nothing and the problem does get solved. Fk counseling. Either your spouse wants to fk you or they don’t. Obviously divorce sucks. It’s sucks. But does being sexually frustrated your whole life seem any beyywe

You don’t seem to hold your spouse in terribly high regard, so it’s not very surprising that she doesn’t want to have sex with you. My spouse speaks to me and about me with respect and, guess what? We have sex four or five times each week. That’s what happens when you treat your spouse with kindness and respect.

Lol, this is just a new twist on the whole "well maybe if you did more housework she would be hornier" line. There are plenty of women here who either just don't want sex period, or aren't attracted to their husband. This often has nothing to do with whether or not the guy shows "kindness and respect."

You are very wrong about why your wife might not want to have sex with you. Honestly, she probably doesn’t hold you in very high regard because you don’t sound like a very nice person. My guess is that you don’t really think of women as real people who deserve to be treated like…real people.

Actually, my wife and I have a good sex life.

I was just pointing out how women here love to try to twist everything around to make it the man's fault.

Many women simply don't want sex, or want it very infrequently. Instead of admitting that their lack of sex drive is undermining the relationship they try to blame it on their husband.

I don’t think you understand how love and sex actually work, and honestly, it reall doesn’t sound as though you have any respect at all for women in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most stable normal people don't want to lose their spouse or kids, over a dirty napkin. In all honesty that's what interlopers are. It would put me in that same category. And I value myself more than that, as well as my family.

I would rather work out a issue, or go to counseling if need be. If it's that bad I would divorce, date down the road. Lastly, I would be scared to death to catch something because if someones willing to cheat with a married person then I assume they've been around the block.

Yep. When they are willing to go from meeting on the Internet to into bed immediately —which is how it works on AM- they have been at this rodeo awhile. Not very discriminating.

Counseling lol. I never understand counseling. You spend tons of money so someone can tell your partner “maybe you should try to have more sex with each other”, but it does nothing and the problem does get solved. Fk counseling. Either your spouse wants to fk you or they don’t. Obviously divorce sucks. It’s sucks. But does being sexually frustrated your whole life seem any beyywe

You don’t seem to hold your spouse in terribly high regard, so it’s not very surprising that she doesn’t want to have sex with you. My spouse speaks to me and about me with respect and, guess what? We have sex four or five times each week. That’s what happens when you treat your spouse with kindness and respect.

Lol, this is just a new twist on the whole "well maybe if you did more housework she would be hornier" line. There are plenty of women here who either just don't want sex period, or aren't attracted to their husband. This often has nothing to do with whether or not the guy shows "kindness and respect."

You are very wrong about why your wife might not want to have sex with you. Honestly, she probably doesn’t hold you in very high regard because you don’t sound like a very nice person. My guess is that you don’t really think of women as real people who deserve to be treated like…real people.

+1. All the men complaining about no sex life at home need to do some soul searching. Mine tried to pull that crap on me. Well why should I bother with his "needs" when he hasn't taken me on a date since before our kindergartner was born (despite multiple requests), and when we have a disagreement, he talks down to me and clearly doesn't respect or value me? Its just so obvious in his tone..i tried to continue in the bedroom in good faith for a while after our son was born but nothing ever changed so no pun intended, I'm out of f*cks. I'm certain if he posted on here complaining about lack of bedroom activities, it would be all my fault with zero introspection as to his role in that.

[Anonymous]

I am a woman and have been in situations where married men could pursue if they wanted. Every time they didn’t it seemed like they just didn’t find me attractive enough to take the risk. Moreover, I think 99% of those who declined just haven’t four the one who is attractive enough for them. It’s the old risks vs benefits thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most stable normal people don't want to lose their spouse or kids, over a dirty napkin. In all honesty that's what interlopers are. It would put me in that same category. And I value myself more than that, as well as my family.

I would rather work out a issue, or go to counseling if need be. If it's that bad I would divorce, date down the road. Lastly, I would be scared to death to catch something because if someones willing to cheat with a married person then I assume they've been around the block.

Yep. When they are willing to go from meeting on the Internet to into bed immediately —which is how it works on AM- they have been at this rodeo awhile. Not very discriminating.

Counseling lol. I never understand counseling. You spend tons of money so someone can tell your partner “maybe you should try to have more sex with each other”, but it does nothing and the problem does get solved. Fk counseling. Either your spouse wants to fk you or they don’t. Obviously divorce sucks. It’s sucks. But does being sexually frustrated your whole life seem any beyywe

You don’t seem to hold your spouse in terribly high regard, so it’s not very surprising that she doesn’t want to have sex with you. My spouse speaks to me and about me with respect and, guess what? We have sex four or five times each week. That’s what happens when you treat your spouse with kindness and respect.

Lol, this is just a new twist on the whole "well maybe if you did more housework she would be hornier" line. There are plenty of women here who either just don't want sex period, or aren't attracted to their husband. This often has nothing to do with whether or not the guy shows "kindness and respect."

You are very wrong about why your wife might not want to have sex with you. Honestly, she probably doesn’t hold you in very high regard because you don’t sound like a very nice person. My guess is that you don’t really think of women as real people who deserve to be treated like…real people.

Actually, my wife and I have a good sex life.

I was just pointing out how women here love to try to twist everything around to make it the man's fault.

Many women simply don't want sex, or want it very infrequently. Instead of admitting that their lack of sex drive is undermining the relationship they try to blame it on their husband.

I don’t think you understand how love and sex actually work, and honestly, it reall doesn’t sound as though you have any respect at all for women in general.

Or perhaps you don't understand how love and sex "actually work," see how easy that was?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most stable normal people don't want to lose their spouse or kids, over a dirty napkin. In all honesty that's what interlopers are. It would put me in that same category. And I value myself more than that, as well as my family.

I would rather work out a issue, or go to counseling if need be. If it's that bad I would divorce, date down the road. Lastly, I would be scared to death to catch something because if someones willing to cheat with a married person then I assume they've been around the block.

Yep. When they are willing to go from meeting on the Internet to into bed immediately —which is how it works on AM- they have been at this rodeo awhile. Not very discriminating.

Counseling lol. I never understand counseling. You spend tons of money so someone can tell your partner “maybe you should try to have more sex with each other”, but it does nothing and the problem does get solved. Fk counseling. Either your spouse wants to fk you or they don’t. Obviously divorce sucks. It’s sucks. But does being sexually frustrated your whole life seem any beyywe

You don’t seem to hold your spouse in terribly high regard, so it’s not very surprising that she doesn’t want to have sex with you. My spouse speaks to me and about me with respect and, guess what? We have sex four or five times each week. That’s what happens when you treat your spouse with kindness and respect.

Lol, this is just a new twist on the whole "well maybe if you did more housework she would be hornier" line. There are plenty of women here who either just don't want sex period, or aren't attracted to their husband. This often has nothing to do with whether or not the guy shows "kindness and respect."

You are very wrong about why your wife might not want to have sex with you. Honestly, she probably doesn’t hold you in very high regard because you don’t sound like a very nice person. My guess is that you don’t really think of women as real people who deserve to be treated like…real people.

+1. All the men complaining about no sex life at home need to do some soul searching. Mine tried to pull that crap on me. Well why should I bother with his "needs" when he hasn't taken me on a date since before our kindergartner was born (despite multiple requests), and when we have a disagreement, he talks down to me and clearly doesn't respect or value me? Its just so obvious in his tone..i tried to continue in the bedroom in good faith for a while after our son was born but nothing ever changed so no pun intended, I'm out of f*cks. I'm certain if he posted on here complaining about lack of bedroom activities, it would be all my fault with zero introspection as to his role in that.

Sure, maybe he is the badguy, or maybe this is just a case of you wanting to blame someone else to avoid doing any actual introspection yourself.

This board is full of women who insist that it is their husband's fault for not making them want sex. When pressed it is often (not always) the case that they just don't much want sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

In the same situation, and I agree with this. It's hard to have loyalty, i.e. sexual fidelity with someone you aren't having sex with.

Only reason I don't cheat is fear of getting caught. I wouldn't feel guilty and I don't owe loyalty to someone who has sexually abandoned me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and have been in situations where married men could pursue if they wanted. Every time they didn’t it seemed like they just didn’t find me attractive enough to take the risk. Moreover, I think 99% of those who declined just haven’t four the one who is attractive enough for them. It’s the old risks vs benefits thing

I wouldn’t take it as a statement on your attractiveness. It’s a huge huge danger for any married man and also a conflict for most, it takes a lot more than simple attraction to make it worthwhile.

[Anonymous]

I am a literal fountain for the right man. If you don’t have my trust, are disrespectful or can’t be honest and communicative, forget it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a literal fountain for the right man. If you don’t have my trust, are disrespectful or can’t be honest and communicative, forget it.

Wait, you literally spray, like into the air? Is that not a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

So many stay married, out of fear of the unknown.

I was cheated on and had to stay. He blamed me for seldom having sex with him, lol. Nope he chose to cheat and ended it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

In the same situation, and I agree with this. It's hard to have loyalty, i.e. sexual fidelity with someone you aren't having sex with.

Only reason I don't cheat is fear of getting caught. I wouldn't feel guilty and I don't owe loyalty to someone who has sexually abandoned me.

You should then talk to your spouse about that. You're lack of communication clearly says you're part of the problem! Or both get counseling. My DH cheated and there's no going back after that. In my mind he betrayed me to the hilt, and I treated him very well in all regards. He cheated himself out of having a partner that loves or cares about him. He stepped over a dollar to pick up a penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wife has virtually no interest in sex (at least with me), so I think about it all the time and have had opportunities, but I’m too old to deal with the possibility of blowing up my life and suffering financial harm. I’d like to think that somewhere deeper down it has to do with a sense of loyalty to my wife, but I really don’t know if that’s a factor, as the other reasons are so acute.

In the same situation, and I agree with this. It's hard to have loyalty, i.e. sexual fidelity with someone you aren't having sex with.

Only reason I don't cheat is fear of getting caught. I wouldn't feel guilty and I don't owe loyalty to someone who has sexually abandoned me.

You should then talk to your spouse about that. You're lack of communication clearly says you're part of the problem! Or both get counseling. My DH cheated and there's no going back after that. In my mind he betrayed me to the hilt, and I treated him very well in all regards. He cheated himself out of having a partner that loves or cares about him. He stepped over a dollar to pick up a penny.

Nope. No going back. I was having sex, regularly. But, he wanted to try variety at midlife with an old whore.

[Anonymous]

Had the opp with a young associate pre covid. Thought about it for the excitement, but when you put yourself in the other person's position it's a very shitty thing to do. When you think of it in that perspective you'll stop yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a literal fountain for the right man. If you don’t have my trust, are disrespectful or can’t be honest and communicative, forget it.

Wait, you literally spray, like into the air? Is that not a problem?

Are you 12? No, not like a man, dear. It is not a problem and I’ve had no complaints.