I'm a 45 year old woman who wants to gain 25 pounds

[Anonymous]

I have always been thin. In my 30s I was around 135, which was a healthy weight for me. I've been the same weight since I was in high school. When I was pregnant I only gained 10 pounds with each pregnancy (I lost 10 pounds the first trimester from excessive morning sickness then struggled to gain that weight back the rest of the pregnancy).

I'm also the type of person who loses my appetite quickly when stressed or anxious. When the pandemic started I lost 25 pounds from the stress/anxiety. It took me about a year to gain that back. I'm now 115 pounds and 45 years old. I eat whatever I want but cannot gain weight. My BMI is 19, which it's always been. But I look too thin and skeletal, which is not a good look when you're 45.

My goal is to gain 25 pounds. But this seems like a challenging task because my appetite is pretty small in general, mainly due to the stress/anxiety of the pandemic. I drop weight really quickly when stressed/anxious because I can barely eat and it takes me months to gain it back.

I've had a colonoscopy and nothing is wrong there. Bloodwork is fine, thyroid is fine. My blood pressure is low. I have no health issues. I've been in therapy for over a year for this issue plus others, but have not found it helpful. This has been an issue that's affected me for decades, but it's gotten worse since the pandemic since the stress/anxiety of the pandemic makes it so I have very little appetite. Also I used to eat out a lot pre-pandemic which helped me keep my weight on, since the pandemic started we barely eat out, maybe once every 2 months, so that has caused a loss of calories.

I try to eat a lot of crap per day plus healthy fats (I eat 1-2 avocados per day) plus lots of cookies and whatever sweets I want. I drink only juice and water. If I stopped drinking juice I would drop a lot of weight, so I can't give up the juice. I cannot eat dairy though due to lactose intolerance so I can't have ice cream or other fattening dairy products. Even lactose-free cheese and dairy products are hard for me to tolerate.

For exercise I walk occasionally. I don't do anything else.

How can I gain more weight? When I see myself in a full-length mirror I'm shocked by how frail I look.

[Anonymous]

Best wishes for your journey into health.

1. You might consider working with a nutritionist.

2. If you look frail, consider strength training for bone strength. It may also be that more exercise helps increase appetite. Gets your body going as it were.

3. Weight loss apps can also be used to track eating for weight gain.

[Anonymous]

Nuts? They’re healthy — and pack a lot of calories, good fats and nutrients in even a small serving

[Anonymous]

You could shadow me and eat what I eat every day. That seems to be doing the trick!

The lactose intolerance part is a shame. I get SO many cheese calories in my system.

How about working out more with weights for some muscle building (muscle weighs more than fat!) and lots more time at the bakery? Like fresh bread with lots of butter and daily eclairs and cakes.

[Anonymous]

Do you cook? You can add more healthy oils (avocado, coconut, sesame) to foods for some additional calories.

What about nuts and nut butters?

It sounds like you tend toward empty calories with juice and sweets. More fats is a different approach.

[Anonymous]

Have you had blood work done to test for celiac disease?
This is a simple blood test. Insurance should cover it but without insurance it would run you around $40.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you're not working with a nutritionist on the food issue and a personal trainer to help you bulk up a little.

[Anonymous]

Up your daily calories to gain weight eat 6x a day. It could look something like this:

Breakfast: eat 2 eggs, turkey bacon, whole grain toast w/milk or choc milk

Snack eat yogurt w/chia seeds for fiber or cheese and fruit

lunch: chicken or tuna, rice and salad

snack: peanut butter on crackers

dinner: chicken or some kind of protein, carbs and vegis

snack: nuts, chips, desert etc.. reasonable portion of course

Limit any cardio exercises until you gain weight, add some protein shake/drink if necessary. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I also can't eat when I'm stressed. But when I gained it back I tried to do it in a healthy way:

*Smoothies -- nut milk (or juice), protein powder, banana and fruit are healthy/high calorie
*Trail mix is a good mid-day snack
*Peanut butter and a slice of dark chocolate for dessert

Also, lots of smaller meals vs 3 large ones helps.

[Anonymous]

Lift weights. Strength train. Eat nuts.

[Anonymous]

Drink your calories, but I'd suggest protein shakes. Also find a new therapist.

[Anonymous]

I would look into anti-anxiety medication. Therapy is great and you should keep doing it, but if it's not getting you where you need to be, medication could be a good complement.

Definitely look into a nutritionist. Adding fats like coconut and other nuts, fatty fish, eggs, etc. could help you. Some of the non-dairy yogurts and ice creams are quite caloric--I like the oatly one. You could make them into shakes or smoothies so you can drink more calories.

I'd also suggest spending as much time as possible outdoors--great for stress relief and for stimulating the appetite.

[Anonymous]

Meal plans and nutritionists aren’t going to help if the appetite just isn’t there. I’m in a similar though not identical situation. You could look into marijuana for the appetite problem. Also lifting weights might increase your appetite.

[Anonymous]

Lifting weights and doing some sort of hard cardio (running, biking, rowing, etc) should get your appetite up and develop your muscles do you don’t look skeletal. If you aren’t well versed in exercise, hire a personal trainer to get you started. Eat nuts, fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, etc. I drink a green smoothie with a scoop of protein powder after every workout. If you gain muscle, you probably don’t need to gain 25 lbs to look healthy. Personally, my BMI is less than 19 and I don’t look frail at all bc I workout a lot.

[Anonymous]

It's just as hard to do as when people try to lose weight, since our bodies tend to naturally gravitate towards a certain weight. My best friend, as well as my mother, both struggle with low weight, and they have never been able to gain, despite eating all they want. They both like fatty foods, but they have bird appetites, and feel bloated when they eat too much, which is why they never gain.

I think you should focus more on maintaining muscle mass and flexibility, and less on what the number on the scale actually is.