I'm a 45 year old woman who wants to gain 25 pounds

[Anonymous]

OP here. I will look into these non-dairy smoothie ideas, never really knew about them, thank you.

Re: my attitude towards food, it's mainly that eating is a chore, something I have to do vs. want to do, I don't find any joy in eating (never have) and I skip a lot of meals because of low appetite and also disliking to cook. I do have some anxiety around food, but it has to do more with a phobia of choking. I have a massive phobia of choking and I often skip meals because of this (especially if my husband is working late or out of town). I won't eat anything with small pieces like nuts or certain cereals. I chew my food a million times before swallowing because the sensation of swallowing a large-ish piece sends me into a panic attack. I have had periods where I've lost weight because of this anxiety because I will only eat really easy to chew foods. Eating does not cause me nausea or anything like that.

But I also lose my appetite completely when anxious or stressed, like the first 3 months of the pandemic. I lost 25 pounds and was basically eating a few small snacks per day (like a yogurt, a banana, and a piece of toast). I didn't have the appetite for more because I was so stressed about the pandemic. Gradually when things improved my appetite came back slowly and I was able to eat more, but my appetite is nowhere near where it was pre-pandemic, because I am constantly stressed and worried about the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I will look into these non-dairy smoothie ideas, never really knew about them, thank you.

Re: my attitude towards food, it's mainly that eating is a chore, something I have to do vs. want to do, I don't find any joy in eating (never have) and I skip a lot of meals because of low appetite and also disliking to cook. I do have some anxiety around food, but it has to do more with a phobia of choking. I have a massive phobia of choking and I often skip meals because of this (especially if my husband is working late or out of town). I won't eat anything with small pieces like nuts or certain cereals. I chew my food a million times before swallowing because the sensation of swallowing a large-ish piece sends me into a panic attack. I have had periods where I've lost weight because of this anxiety because I will only eat really easy to chew foods. Eating does not cause me nausea or anything like that.

But I also lose my appetite completely when anxious or stressed, like the first 3 months of the pandemic. I lost 25 pounds and was basically eating a few small snacks per day (like a yogurt, a banana, and a piece of toast). I didn't have the appetite for more because I was so stressed about the pandemic. Gradually when things improved my appetite came back slowly and I was able to eat more, but my appetite is nowhere near where it was pre-pandemic, because I am constantly stressed and worried about the pandemic.

This makes me really sad for you. Please go see a therapist to help with the anxiety. I have a clinical anxiety disorder and for years couldn't eat for various reasons. Finally getting on long-term meds helped a lot. It's so worth it. You don't need to live like this! Hoping you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

Anxiety treatment and heavy weights.

[Anonymous]

You need meds. And maybe a different kind of therapy if a year in to your current program you cannot perform a critical life-sustaining activity like eating adequate calories. Whether it's EMDR if you have a past trauma around food, CBT for anxiety, or ERP (part of CBT) for phobia, I would have a frank discussion with your current provider about your eating situation and explain that you need to see a psychiatrist for meds and need to be doing something different therapy-wise. Your current person may be able to do that different thing with you, or refer you to someone else.

Your weight is a symptom of your mental illness. Yes, if you can eat brownies or something and put on a few pounds that's great (and I think you should look into whether you can eat some of the food that your kid is allergic to outside of the house, or find a way to prepare and consume it safely in your house), but you need to get your anxiety and phobias under control.

[Anonymous]

So you look old and decrepit

[Anonymous]

Definitely find a new therapist - preferably someone who has some experience with treating eating disorders. It sounds a lot like ARFID. https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/arfid

Even if not full-blown, a lot of the treatment suggestions could be helpful for you, OP. Schedule meals & snacks and stick to the schedule. Try to have your first meal/snack within 30m of waking up. Drink your calories. Etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, easy peasy. Take fish oil gummies/geltabs/supplements. They make you gain weight like crazy and are great for the brain and are usually liquid so ZERO choking. Also, make sure your orange juice is fortified with Calcium or you take calcium supplements (Ionic has great LIQUID supplements and can be found at Vitamin shoppe). No dairy, nuts, forced eating, or choking "pieces" required. Good luck! You've got this!

[Anonymous]

Muscle building exercise. I am super petite (small bones and in the shorter side) and have had a similar problem. During the pandemic I started doing regular uphill biking and weights and I could see the leg muscles develop. As they were developing my appetite skyrocketed. Lots of nut butter etc. I feel great and look slightly less frail (honestly I’ll always be petite bird boned so I’ll never look hearty all American!).