Men do you care if your wives are average looking after babies and many years of marriage?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my husband for 14 years, married 11 - we have 3 young kids. I realized I haven't put on jeans or button pants in forever since I WFH full time and run around after 3 young kids during the morning/evenings/weekends. I am definitely bigger than when we met (was around 135 when we met and now at 145). Would you prefer a wife who has to seriously restrict their diet, no booze, and works out all the time in order to maintain their weight or would you prefer a wife who has a little bit more weight, works out regularly but just can't shed those last 10 postpartum pounds? I am still at a good pant size (26-27 inch waist) but just don't know if I have it in me to push to lost the last 10 pounds. I really like wine and food.

[Anonymous]

Prefer? I prefer all sorts of things. What I am happy with is a different question.

[Anonymous]

10 pounds is no big deal. Most men do not expect perfection after 3 kids. You are doing fine as long as your sex life is still good.

[Anonymous]

140 lbs, mom body, hips, boobs, small muffin top, small belly is my ideal look. Definitely will take notice more of that body than a yoga mom.

[Anonymous]

I'd rather have a wife who weight 145 pounds and three kids who we both love than a wife who weights 135 with no kids. Men understand that having kids change a woman's body and that not all woman can immediately go to the plastic surgeon and personal trainer to undo the changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 14 years, married 11 - we have 3 young kids. I realized I haven't put on jeans or button pants in forever since I WFH full time and run around after 3 young kids during the morning/evenings/weekends. I am definitely bigger than when we met (was around 135 when we met and now at 145). Would you prefer a wife who has to seriously restrict their diet, no booze, and works out all the time in order to maintain their weight or would you prefer a wife who has a little bit more weight, works out regularly but just can't shed those last 10 postpartum pounds? I am still at a good pant size (26-27 inch waist) but just don't know if I have it in me to push to lost the last 10 pounds. I really like wine and food.

Unless you are shorter than 4'1" that doesn't sound that much bigger-especially for 3 kids??? I bet you're beautiful. What did your husband say? What brought on this insecurity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 14 years, married 11 - we have 3 young kids. I realized I haven't put on jeans or button pants in forever since I WFH full time and run around after 3 young kids during the morning/evenings/weekends. I am definitely bigger than when we met (was around 135 when we met and now at 145). Would you prefer a wife who has to seriously restrict their diet, no booze, and works out all the time in order to maintain their weight or would you prefer a wife who has a little bit more weight, works out regularly but just can't shed those last 10 postpartum pounds? I am still at a good pant size (26-27 inch waist) but just don't know if I have it in me to push to lost the last 10 pounds. I really like wine and food.

Unless you are shorter than 4'1" that doesn't sound that much bigger-especially for 3 kids??? I bet you're beautiful. What did your husband say? What brought on this insecurity?

Op here - I am 5’7” so not short. Husband is doesn’t mind at all I just mind. Probably because I compare myself to my sister who has had 2 kids and weighs 10+ pounds less than me and works out all the time. I just don’t have the will power.

[Anonymous]

It isn’t as hard to drop the last few pounds. Just eat less.

I am now 43, almost 44. I weigh the same pre baby. I also love to eat but in moderation. I also have 3 kids. I did intermittent fasting twice per week after my third was born. Now I work out more and more fit than before I had kids.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're doing great OP. As long as you're happy with yourself You're clearly a healthy weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been with my husband for 14 years, married 11 - we have 3 young kids. I realized I haven't put on jeans or button pants in forever since I WFH full time and run around after 3 young kids during the morning/evenings/weekends. I am definitely bigger than when we met (was around 135 when we met and now at 145). Would you prefer a wife who has to seriously restrict their diet, no booze, and works out all the time in order to maintain their weight or would you prefer a wife who has a little bit more weight, works out regularly but just can't shed those last 10 postpartum pounds? I am still at a good pant size (26-27 inch waist) but just don't know if I have it in me to push to lost the last 10 pounds. I really like wine and food.

Unless you are shorter than 4'1" that doesn't sound that much bigger-especially for 3 kids??? I bet you're beautiful. What did your husband say? What brought on this insecurity?

Op here - I am 5’7” so not short. Husband is doesn’t mind at all I just mind. Probably because I compare myself to my sister who has had 2 kids and weighs 10+ pounds less than me and works out all the time. I just don’t have the will power.

Stop talking numbers with your sister. Stop comparing your LOOKS to other people. Be a kind person - that's WAY more important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10 pounds is no big deal. Most men do not expect perfection after 3 kids. You are doing fine as long as your sex life is still good.

+1 I have the dreaded mommy shelf from two csections. I'm very petite, and the extra 10lbs is very noticeable on me. But, DH still finds me desirable, and even rubs my squishy belly in bed, which I hate. But he said he loves it because it's a part of me, and it produced our amazing, beautiful children.

DH would hate it if I dieted purely for looks. We our foodies. I try to eat healthy, small portions and exercise, but he wouldn't want me to give up my enjoyment of good food just to look better. No man who loves his wife should expect that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It isn’t as hard to drop the last few pounds. Just eat less.

I am now 43, almost 44. I weigh the same pre baby. I also love to eat but in moderation. I also have 3 kids. I did intermittent fasting twice per week after my third was born. Now I work out more and more fit than before I had kids.

DP.. every body is different. For some, it's easier to lose the weight than others, even with same diet and exercise.

[Anonymous]

Omg good gracious what a sick world we live in. You’re a human being, not a creature put upon the earth to be visually appealing to men. And a human being that created new life, at that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg good gracious what a sick world we live in. You’re a human being, not a creature put upon the earth to be visually appealing to men. And a human being that created new life, at that!

+1. This thread makes me sad.

[Anonymous]

For my DH, it would really depend on how the weight is distributed. Proportionally, good; all in the butt and hips, not so much.

Also, exercise is very ineffective way to lose weight, especially if ur doing cardio, which I'm guessing you are. You have to reduce calories. Cut out a daily snack, maybe don't have seconds, try not eating at all between dinner and breakfast. You can enjoy food or be a foodie without eating a lot of food (diminishing marginal returns). And do more strength training and less cardio. That will burn more calories more efficiently.