Divorced SAHMs and younger professional women: sugar babies?

[Anonymous]

I'm a middle aged guy. Lately I've been shocked by how similar the 20 something childless women and the 40 something moms without jobs have been on the dating apps. When they text they almost always start to use words like "generous" or "giving" or "pampering" to describe what they want in a relationship. A lot of younger women do this even if they have real jobs. A lot of older women do this even if they have been living very respectable lives with kids. I didn't expect this. Sometimes it's hard to tell who wants a sugar daddy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a middle aged guy. Lately I've been shocked by how similar the 20 something childless women and the 40 something moms without jobs have been on the dating apps. When they text they almost always start to use words like "generous" or "giving" or "pampering" to describe what they want in a relationship. A lot of younger women do this even if they have real jobs. A lot of older women do this even if they have been living very respectable lives with kids. I didn't expect this. Sometimes it's hard to tell who wants a sugar daddy.

This may shock you but there are men who are like this with their wives, and simply with the women they love. It can be material, sexual or emotional. Not all men are takers.

[Anonymous]

If you’re a middle aged man wanting a full partner, i.e. someone who can keep pace financially, most women in their 20’s or divorced women with kids are not your target group. Isn’t that kind of obvious?

[Anonymous]

Eta there are certainly some younger women or older women with kids who are killing it financially (I’m a single mom by choice and very comfortable) but this isn’t the most common scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a middle aged guy. Lately I've been shocked by how similar the 20 something childless women and the 40 something moms without jobs have been on the dating apps. When they text they almost always start to use words like "generous" or "giving" or "pampering" to describe what they want in a relationship. A lot of younger women do this even if they have real jobs. A lot of older women do this even if they have been living very respectable lives with kids. I didn't expect this. Sometimes it's hard to tell who wants a sugar daddy.

So are you in the market for a sugar baby and having trouble filtering through the apps to see who wants a daddy? You got sugar to give?

[Anonymous]

After I divorced my first husband, who was a taker in every way, emotionally, sexually and financially, I would have used words like "generous" and "giving" on a dating app. Fortunately I got set up with a great man who is generous and giving in every way and I sort of latched on to him after the first date, and we have been happily married for 6+ years and have a beautiful child. He's not a sugar daddy - I have a great career and make over $300k - but one of the things I've loved the most about him is that I feel like he takes care of me (and of course, I do the same for him).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a middle aged guy. Lately I've been shocked by how similar the 20 something childless women and the 40 something moms without jobs have been on the dating apps. When they text they almost always start to use words like "generous" or "giving" or "pampering" to describe what they want in a relationship. A lot of younger women do this even if they have real jobs. A lot of older women do this even if they have been living very respectable lives with kids. I didn't expect this. Sometimes it's hard to tell who wants a sugar daddy.

40 something woman here and I totally 100% agree with you. No way would I want to be a 40 something guy in this area in the dating pool right now. Big responsibility to take on a SAHM divorced woman, plus whatever came before! I can honestly think of at least ten women who are divorced right now, looking to "upgrade" - going into big debt to do so. Gross. World's oldest profession. Wouldn't doubt if a guilty party tries to have my opinion/experience removed for speaking the truth.

[Anonymous]

What do you want them to say? “Looking for a miserly, stingy, and penny-pinching man.” No. Women want to be romanced, not necessarily “maintained,” and yes, you have to pay to play.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a middle aged guy. Lately I've been shocked by how similar the 20 something childless women and the 40 something moms without jobs have been on the dating apps. When they text they almost always start to use words like "generous" or "giving" or "pampering" to describe what they want in a relationship. A lot of younger women do this even if they have real jobs. A lot of older women do this even if they have been living very respectable lives with kids. I didn't expect this. Sometimes it's hard to tell who wants a sugar daddy.

At least they're clear they don't want to get married and have (more) kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eta there are certainly some younger women or older women with kids who are killing it financially (I’m a single mom by choice and very comfortable) but this isn’t the most common scenario.

+1

Exactly. The ex husband pays for the house in a nice area and luxury car, but the divorced woman wants more - not saying this is every woman, but I have seen enough of them to know that too many of these women exist. If OP were my son, I would want them to know.

[Anonymous]

So you're shocked to find out that sex workers can be different ages and have respectable lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you're shocked to find out that sex workers can be different ages and have respectable lives?

I mean seriously, OP, anyone who texts you from a dating app about being "generous" has a job. It's you. You're the job. Don't be ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you want them to say? “Looking for a miserly, stingy, and penny-pinching man.” No. Women want to be romanced, not necessarily “maintained,” and yes, you have to pay to play.

Wow. Just wow.

If it is any conciliation, OP - I know married women who are just as shameful about trying to approach other people's husbands, trying to "graduate". You would be shocked where this happens, or maybe you wouldn't........

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you're shocked to find out that sex workers can be different ages and have respectable lives?

+1

[Anonymous]

If you’re a middle aged man wanting a full partner, i.e. someone who can keep pace financially

Relationships aren’t about matching each other dollar for dollar.