Parent letting child use our pool toys

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

[Anonymous]

You'd hate NYC playgrounds, then. It's understood that toys get shared, so you leave anything DCs are unwilling to share at home. Most kids and adults are cool with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

Ok that would annoy me too (depending on the age of the kid).

[Anonymous]

I go to a great local member pool. The kids are 99.9% amazing.

It’s just not feasible to bring personal toys to a busy pool setting especially if there are also communal toys. It’s just not. Unless it’s in your hands at all times. Just don’t do it if it’s going to stress you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

Ok that would annoy me too (depending on the age of the kid).

If the kid is young I'm MORE annoyed because it means their parents likely witnessed this entire interaction and made no effort to return the toy. If it's a 9 yr old playing in their own I'd be more forgiving because kids can be forgetful or misunderstand situations. But a parent who just lets their kid walk off with toys they promised to return is a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

I think you’re really setting yourself up here.

[Anonymous]

I get why you're annoyed. But you should just be annoyed at yourself, for not being direct yet kind.

Sometimes we need situations like this to help us recalibrate. "Oh sorry sweetie, these are Larla's toys. The shared toy basket is there. Go see what's inside it!" Then when she goes to grandpa you say "right now we're using our toys so we aren't able to share. Check the box over there" and point to it again.

You're annoyed that YOU gave in. And you gave in because you weren't sure how to gently continue to say no. Many kids don't "get the hint" because they are children. It's still ok to say no to them and their parents. Gently and kindly, because we're all part of the community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't mind sharing the toys we bring to the pool, but it gets old when they walk off. Which happens a lot. So we don't bring them anymore. Because your kid stole them.

I guess entitled jerks have to train their kids somehow.

Where are they walking off from? Any time we lost something (rarely), it was because we didn't put it away and left that area. There's a lesson there too.

Kid: Can I play with this toy?
Me: Of course! Just bring it back when you're done with it.

30 minutes later they blow the whistle for adult swim, that kid and the toy are nowhere to be found.

We don't just leave toys we want to keep lying around unattended, but a weird percent of people seem to think that surely the nice people who brought all the dive toys won't miss it if I just take this one.

Ok that would annoy me too (depending on the age of the kid).

If the kid is young I'm MORE annoyed because it means their parents likely witnessed this entire interaction and made no effort to return the toy. If it's a 9 yr old playing in their own I'd be more forgiving because kids can be forgetful or misunderstand situations. But a parent who just lets their kid walk off with toys they promised to return is a jerk.

Then it's good you no longer bring toys to the pool. That sounds stressful for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I go to a great local member pool. The kids are 99.9% amazing.

It’s just not feasible to bring personal toys to a busy pool setting especially if there are also communal toys. It’s just not. Unless it’s in your hands at all times. Just don’t do it if it’s going to stress you out.

Our pool doesn't have communal toys, so if you want to play with dive toys you have to bring them. But this also increases the pressure to share then because most people don't bring anything and of course the kids want to play when they see them.

This is fine with me, if anything it's useful because it makes it easy for my kids to find playmates at the pool. But it is frustrating when some kids and parents act entitled to the toys we brought. I don't mind if things get lost or misplaced, they are pool toys, not fine jewelry. But sometimes people are crazy rude. I've had parents get mad at me when we leave a line collect our toys because their kid is upset to have to stop playing with it. Like it's easier to get annoyed with me than just seize the parenting opportunity there with their kid.

Most people are fine about it though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that what you consider rules for sharing or not sharing your toys at a community pool are rules you have in your head, right? They aren’t actual rules and you can’t expect everyone to use the same rules you made up!

NP. I think people just using their own stuff is a pretty classic “rule”.

Not in a public / community location.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You realize that what you consider rules for sharing or not sharing your toys at a community pool are rules you have in your head, right? They aren’t actual rules and you can’t expect everyone to use the same rules you made up!

NP. I think people just using their own stuff is a pretty classic “rule”.

Not in a public / community location.

The stuff I own is still mine if I bring it to a public place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have also been in a situation where I thought another kid had our toy and asked for it back to realize they had the exact same toy.

That is why it is so important to label the toys with your last name.

Perhaps OP can write “NOT FOR SHARING” with a skull and crossbones on each toy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I have also been in a situation where I thought another kid had our toy and asked for it back to realize they had the exact same toy.

That is why it is so important to label the toys with your last name.

Perhaps OP can write “NOT FOR SHARING” with a skull and crossbones on each toy

That was funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'd hate NYC playgrounds, then. It's understood that toys get shared, so you leave anything DCs are unwilling to share at home. Most kids and adults are cool with it.

This is understood in all playgrounds and pools everywhere, not just NYC. If you bring a toy to a public pool or playground and it leaves your hands, it’s for other kids to join and play with too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She wanted to play with you. It was weird and rude of you to send her away. And weird of your kid to not join in and play with her. You are the odd one here. The other kid was normal.

Disagree. It’s not weird to want to just play with your own kid at the pool, and not play with some other random kid.

I think it is weird, kids are meant to play with other kids. But regardless this isn't about the pool toy like OP is trying to make it out to be. It was about the interaction, which she is beinf obtuse about. The girl didn't want a community toy, she wanted a playmate.

OPs question should have been, i wanted to play with my kid alone and another kid tried to play wwyd. And then i would chime in to say she should have let her play and go sit on the side and read a book, and you could have said she should have told her she was having special time with only her child so buzz off.