How do your kids address their friends' parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ms. Larla and Mr. Larlo.

New Yorker living in New England.

Poop

[Anonymous]

I want to teach my kid respect, and in my view, calling someone by what they would like to be called (whether it’s Mrs or first name or whatever) is a way of practicing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will let kids call me anything they want… but I prefer my first name. The worst was this one kid who used to call out “um Larla’s Mom!” I said, you can call me Mary. She seemed to alternate between Larla’s mom and nothing at all. Now, she doesn’t come over much. I don’t easily feel disrespected. They just need to follow any explicit rules I bother to give them… and stop bad behavior when I ask them to stop.

That's... weird. You feel disrespected and seem happy this friend doesn't come over much now... all because she would call you "Larla's Mom"? It's not like she called you "Sally." Did she break any of your other rules or was she generally rude and disrespectful? In many cultures, the norm is to call someone "Larla's Mom." Adults and children both do this. I wouldn't say it is disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're all first names over here. When referring to a friend's family we refer to them as "The Gemmas" or "The Ethans." Nobody in our circles is putting on airs.

We definitely do "the Ethans" unless our kid is close with more than one kid.

We model "Ms. First Name" style address, but I have no idea what my kid actually calls anyone, because I'm usually not there. Friends tell us she's polite, which is what really matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how your kids typically address their friends' parents (and how your kids' friends address you)?

My kids are 8 and 10. Their friends address me and my husband by our first names. And within our immediate kid-friend group this is the norm.

However, when my kids are meeting "new parents" initially, I will push Mr. & Mrs/Ms. unless they've previously initiated first name introductions (and my kids are still at an age when they're not really engaging with other parents that I haven't previously met).

i had a slight strange (to me) situation crop up recently where a friend of my son kept calling me Mrs. X (even after I said call me 'Y"). I emphasized this in front of the kid's mother and she said, that in their family "respect is important" (yes, she actually said that) and their children *always* address other parents by Mr./Mrs. But now it's kind of weird...because this kid was over last week with a couple of other friends of my son and the kid kept calling me Mrs. X while the other kids were calling me Y.

I guess I just leave it? It's awkward for me for the kid to be calling me Mrs. X (especially in the presence of other kids who just call me Y) but I don't want to cause problems with the other parent.

What's other people's experience on all of this. I'm used to first name usage - but maybe that's just our own social group????

Umm I still call people older than me with the proper Mrs., Ms. Mr. I am 40. When I wave to our elderly neighbor, I say Hi Miss X,
My kid is expected to follow that.
I do not use this with peers and/or coworkers.

[Anonymous]

My kids’ friends when in elementary and even now in MS have always addressed me as “DC’s mom”. I am afraid my kids do same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people who think that a parent who prefers to be addressed by her first name ought to defer to a parent who wants her children to address other parents by Mr/Mrs X...do you think that a parent who prefers to be addressed as Mrs. X ought to defer to the parent who wants her children to address other adults by their first name?

In other words, there seem to be a lot of people who believe that if Sally Smith wants to be addressed as Sally but Donna Dunmore wants her kids to address Sally as Mrs. Smith then Sally should accept this. If Donna wants Sally's kids to address her as Mrs. Dunmore but Sally's thinks her kids should just call her Donna, are you as accepting it ought to be Sally's right to decide how her children address other adults?

Reading this thread, I'm surprised at how many people use Ms. Firstname - how is it i've never encountered it before. Not growing up or at my kids' schools, either...including pre-school or daycare. I didn't even know it was a thing. Calling an adult Miss Donna or Miss Sally makes me envision people prancing around a plantation or something.

Learn how to write concise articulate sentences

I understood the post perfectly; work on improving your reading comprehension.

And the point is a valid one—if parents are the final arbiter of how their child addresses other adults, then parents who insist on their kids calling other parents Mrs. Smith will have to tolerate being called Donna by parents who have taught their children to use first names. Otherwise they are circumventing the other parents’ teachings, and would be hypocritical.

I instill formal/semi-formal names for MY kids to follow, but if another kid calls me Sally I dont object. Because their parents have different rules for them. It doesnt bother me that their kids are uncouth. Aint my circus! I am also not easily offended by children and their norms.

[Anonymous]

Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I mean, half the time they call me "[Friend]'s Mom."

I'm get called Ms. FirstName, or Mrs. LastName - almost never just FirstName. I encourage my kids to use Ms./Mr. FirstName. But when it comes to how I am addressed, I don't care at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

Do you really not see any difference in the situation you described and PP’s?

[Anonymous]

Mom is "toots" and Dad is "bub"

[Anonymous]

They address them however they have been asked to address them.

[Anonymous]

Default to start with is Mrs. or Mr. Last Name, then if the adult says they prefer something else we use whatever the adult requests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

Do you really not see any difference in the situation you described and PP’s?

The student teacher is TOLD by the school what to have students call them. It's not their choice. The situation was that he CHOSE to ask teen girls for their pager numbers. It has nothing to do with him using his first name.