How common is swinging, really?

[Anonymous]

if couples trust each other enough to include each other instead of sneaking around and aren’t already circling the proverbial relationship drain I guess it works. a lot of communities have thriving swing circles you don’t know about because they know people will judge

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no stats for you, but I can assure you that it's more common than you imagine. I ran across plenty of normal, couple-next-door types when I was briefly testing out the scene (not currently in it), including the usual DMV types: international organization workers, feds, embassy staff, congressional staffers, successful entrepreneurs, professional suburban couples with kids, all types, really. And, contrary to the common assertions by scandalized, judgy DCUM posters, not a bunch of creepers or weirdos or unattractive people. I, for example, am a typical DC fed professional mom, attractive, well-educated, well-adjusted. Just wanted to see what a freer sexual environment was like. I have no idea what the scene is like now, post-pandemic. But a few years ago there was no scarcity of events and venues to check out the scene.

I don’t believe you. I suspect the number is quite small. These people have their reputation to protect. How are they going to avoid pitfalls and put their career, social reputation at risk? People who do this are mostly unattractive with boring life..

We swing with another couple None of us are unattractive or lead boring lives, I assure you

You are probably less attractive than you think. A close friend is a swinger and she has shown me pictures of couples she has hooked up with in DC and they are all very plain.

I've seen social gatherings of swingers. It's certainly not a selling point of the lifestyle if those are the choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swing every weekend but I usually strike out

Right there with you. Keep swinging for the fences. Eventually you will get a hit.

[Anonymous]

Well now there is Poly show
https://youtu.be/6IsUq119O1k?feature=shared

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised by the amount of threads that reference couples swinging. I just never thought it would be so common. How frequently do couples actually do it? We’re in Potomac and I just can’t imagine my neighbors and friends doing this, though I hear a lot about swinging happening in Potomac on this board. And how does it even get brought up when swingers are looking to engage another couple??

You’d be surprised what happens under the surface. I grew up in the 80s in an upper middle class neighborhood. There was the closeted gay doctor with a family that died of AIDS, another family man that slept with a prostitute at a convention and died of AIDS and two neighbors who had an affair with one another. The female of the pairing moved out of state with her family to get a fresh start. The wife of the man involved stayed in the family home and he moved out. These are just the ones I know about.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone who's done it but I imagine they wouldn't probably tell others about it unless they think you were open to hearing about it or you yourself were part of the lifestyle. I'm sure it happens but maybe more often in random ways--like you have a friendship with another couple and drink a lot and try it. I wonder how many people do it often rather than an occasional or one-time thing? Like you go on an app and find each other type of stuff.

I think people definitely do more than you know so I assume these people exist and live around me. Over the years I have had friends tell me surprising stories about their sex lives like long-term affairs, meeting random strangers for a tryst at lunch, sex eith sex workers, three-ways, etc. I think lots of people have outside relationships, sometimes with partner's okay, sometimes not.

[Anonymous]

There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

Hot, hot, hot!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The swingers scene at the Chevy Chase Club is robust.

As if you’d know. You’re not a member anywhere.

[Anonymous]

I heard stories about upside down pineapples, cruises, and retirement communities.

I expect it's more common among the elderly than younger couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

Of course, these are close friends. We all talk, laugh, snorkel, pick out lunch spots, play cards, skip each other’s songs on the playlist etc. To clarify, it’s only happened one night of what is typically a 6 night vacation and of the four times it’s happened it’s been towards the end of the trip. Neither us or our friends engage in any swinging type things beyond our trip to the beach that I know of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

Of course, these are close friends. We all talk, laugh, snorkel, pick out lunch spots, play cards, skip each other’s songs on the playlist etc. To clarify, it’s only happened one night of what is typically a 6 night vacation and of the four times it’s happened it’s been towards the end of the trip. Neither us or our friends engage in any swinging type things beyond our trip to the beach that I know of.

Sorry, I meant do you connect emotionally with the other spouse when you are with them or is it transactional?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a couple we’ve been vacationing with for at least 15 years, our kids don’t come anymore and neither do theirs.
We were all just joking over drinks about trading husbands for the vacation, on the last night she knocked on our door and came in, she didn’t say a word, I knew exactly why she was there and I was fine with it. I got up and went to her room to find her husband waiting for me. For five years now we’ll switch beds in the middle of the night, no one talks about it, sometimes it doesn’t happen but when it does it is so much fun.

It's not weird the next day? Do you talk to the other spouse at all when you are with them or is it just physical?

Of course, these are close friends. We all talk, laugh, snorkel, pick out lunch spots, play cards, skip each other’s songs on the playlist etc. To clarify, it’s only happened one night of what is typically a 6 night vacation and of the four times it’s happened it’s been towards the end of the trip. Neither us or our friends engage in any swinging type things beyond our trip to the beach that I know of.

Sorry, I meant do you connect emotionally with the other spouse when you are with them or is it transactional?

We’re respectful of each other’s relationships for sure, we don’t communicate during the year one on one, there’s my friend and I and then a group thread. These are what I’d consider my dearest friends, I love them, they love me, they love my partner, it’s emotional all year but sexual for a few hours if that makes sense.