Message
As a career nanny, I wanted to offer my thoughts.
Go to your nanny job each day determined to be as professional as possible. Find out what your employers want, and do it. Don't waste your days wishing you were locked in a glass tower somewhere wearing control top hose. Concentrate on the children you've been entrusted with. Have a work agreement, and stick to it. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of, figuring you'll be moving on in a short while, so working for crazy people isn't a big deal. Remember there are crazy, ungrateful, micro-managing bopsses EVERYWHERE - consider this practice that allows you to learn how to deal with future employers gracefully.
If you have a "desired field" try to volunteer in that field. Yes, it's hard while you work nanny hours, but it's a foot in the door. And don't feel "less than" because you're a nanny. If you are using the education you have to do your very best, that will help keep you from feeling depressed. And if you don't have a lot of actual childcare experience, do some reading, get some training, and find ways to be the best nanny you can possibly be.
The nanny culture is a terrific thing to investigate. Not all nannies and nanny groups are like the anonymous posters here who claim to be nannies (or MBs). And those "Career Nannies" often have damn good advice on how to cope with horrid bosses, difficult kids, and tough days when all you have the energy to do is go home and cry. Tap resources that make you better at the job you have, so you can learn the lessons you need to learn as you go forward into your desired field. Google "nanny support groups" and connect with some folks who do the same job you do - if nothing else, it helps to know you aren't alone!
I graduated with honors from a top 10 private university. After graduation I had A LOT of trouble finding a good job, so I settled for nannying in the area I grew up in. I only expected to stay at the job for a few months, meanwhile applying to every major corporation that I had always dreamed of working for. Don't get discouraged. See your job for what it is- a stepping stone, a means to an end. I know the hours are long and the days are hard. I know that parents can be crazy, overprotective, micromanagers. I know that the kids can be bratty and self-absorbed. I know that you're going to curse yourself for taking out so many college loans or majoring in an "undesirable" field while you're washing dishes and folding laundry for people who may come off as ungrateful and out of touch with reality. There are days where you probably feel overworked, underpaid, and under appreciated. Don't let it get to you.
Go to your nanny job each day determined to be as professional as possible. Find out what your employers want, and do it. Don't waste your days wishing you were locked in a glass tower somewhere wearing control top hose. Concentrate on the children you've been entrusted with. Have a work agreement, and stick to it. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of, figuring you'll be moving on in a short while, so working for crazy people isn't a big deal. Remember there are crazy, ungrateful, micro-managing bopsses EVERYWHERE - consider this practice that allows you to learn how to deal with future employers gracefully.
I first heard of DCUM when I was interviewing for nanny positions in my area. I had never known that nannying could be considered a career path. I'm not trying to knock those who choose to become a "career nanny," my advice is intended to encourage those who never envisioned themselves doing a job like this and are feeling discouraged or depressed that they have not broken into their desired field yet.
If you have a "desired field" try to volunteer in that field. Yes, it's hard while you work nanny hours, but it's a foot in the door. And don't feel "less than" because you're a nanny. If you are using the education you have to do your very best, that will help keep you from feeling depressed. And if you don't have a lot of actual childcare experience, do some reading, get some training, and find ways to be the best nanny you can possibly be.
Unless you are being seriously abused by your MB & DB - stick with the job. Gaps in employment make for questionable resumes and, especially in this economy, not many people can afford that. Plus, regardless of how much money you're actually making - at least you're making something. As long as it's enough to pay rent, put food on the table, and take care of your monthly bills, the rest is irrelevant. Take this time to make some cash while you're still sending out applications for your dream job. Also, be careful not to get too comfortable at your current position. Yes, there are certain advantages to working in someone's home, creating your own schedule, dressing however you please, and being able to listen to the TV in the background while you make the kids' lunches. But don't ever forget the dreams that you had for yourself while you were in college. Don't give up just because the economy is tough. It's hard not to get sucked into "nanny culture," especially with sites like DCUM gaining in popularity. Take advantage of the perks of being a nanny while still sending out applications! Trust me, it works!
The nanny culture is a terrific thing to investigate. Not all nannies and nanny groups are like the anonymous posters here who claim to be nannies (or MBs). And those "Career Nannies" often have damn good advice on how to cope with horrid bosses, difficult kids, and tough days when all you have the energy to do is go home and cry. Tap resources that make you better at the job you have, so you can learn the lessons you need to learn as you go forward into your desired field. Google "nanny support groups" and connect with some folks who do the same job you do - if nothing else, it helps to know you aren't alone!
I think he's trying to get a HUGE reaction from you. WRT diapers, perhaps you can offer to show him how to change baby, and he can do it himself if he feels baby can't wait 5 minutes.
Other issues, try giving him as little attention as possible when he's freaking out, and giving him lots of positive attention when he's calmer and less "directive".
If that doesn't work after a few weeks, you'll need to talk with his parents to determine a family plan for coping with his issues, whatever they may be.
Other issues, try giving him as little attention as possible when he's freaking out, and giving him lots of positive attention when he's calmer and less "directive".
If that doesn't work after a few weeks, you'll need to talk with his parents to determine a family plan for coping with his issues, whatever they may be.
Anonymous wrote:OP here.
She was driving her car. It was an Acura MDX. Now her husband went out and got her a new car (and also go them a new house to live in).
It isn't the gas and milage, it is just that I do not want my kids paraded around in that ostentatious display.
Dear God, NO! A nanny with a husband who has the amazing bad taste to be able to pay for a HOUSE, and a CAR?????
This is obviously all wrong. The societal norms have gone topsy turvy! That's not how the "Nanny Class" is supposed to live!
OP, if you hear that she's redecorating, you must FIRE HER immediately. Your children's sense of the world is at stake. All the other children in their classes will mock them if their nanny has...oh, I can hardly say it...[{(<...money to spend...>
}]
I mean, some people might think that you, OP, are jealous of your nanny, since all you can afford to provide for her to drive is a 1996 Subaru. But I am sure all of us here know better. You just don't want the Help getting any ideas about being as good as you are, and that's why you're upset about this.
If it's something you are willing to do, OP, then you need to figure out what the NWOC wants to/needs to make to ensure she keeps working for you fairly long term, instead of quitting in a few months so that she can make more money elsewhere.
If you offer her $10/hour, the benefit cost ratio for her is likely to not be enough to keep her with you very long. I say this because in a recent post, a mom was wondering what to offer a friend of a friend who would take care of the poster's infant along with the caregiver's infant at the caregiver's house, and many people were saying that in that situation, $10/hour was a good rate of pay.
So, looking at this from the caregiver's perspective:
1) I can be the one to pack up and schlep around to work with my kid and work in an employer's home, where I follow their rules and get paid $10/hour.
2) I can stay home, have a parent schlep their kid TO ME, and be the boss and make $10/hour.
What would a MB choose in the caregiver's position?
Back to your situation, ask the nanny what her normal rate is, and make her an offer that cuts about 30% off the top of her rate. Do NOT pay more than $15/hour unless nanny not only has a kid, but a masters in education, and plans to be a nanny/teacher.
If you offer her $10/hour, the benefit cost ratio for her is likely to not be enough to keep her with you very long. I say this because in a recent post, a mom was wondering what to offer a friend of a friend who would take care of the poster's infant along with the caregiver's infant at the caregiver's house, and many people were saying that in that situation, $10/hour was a good rate of pay.
So, looking at this from the caregiver's perspective:
1) I can be the one to pack up and schlep around to work with my kid and work in an employer's home, where I follow their rules and get paid $10/hour.
2) I can stay home, have a parent schlep their kid TO ME, and be the boss and make $10/hour.
What would a MB choose in the caregiver's position?
Back to your situation, ask the nanny what her normal rate is, and make her an offer that cuts about 30% off the top of her rate. Do NOT pay more than $15/hour unless nanny not only has a kid, but a masters in education, and plans to be a nanny/teacher.
Anonymous wrote:NW DC, 1 toddler, 50 hrs/wk, $700 gross on the books, 2-4 weeks paid vacation (will vary year to year but minimum 2 weeks), all fed holidays, 1 week bonus at xmas, 5 PTO/sick days, expect all child-related care and light housework if time allows.
Well, if you get the sort of candidates you want, you'll know it's an offer that is both reasonable and makes it likely you'll find a good nanny. If the candidates at that price point are not the quality you were hoping for, you may have to adjust either the wages or your expectations.
Do remember that nannies are hourly employees, and while it's perfectly fine to say, "Nanny is guaranteed pay for 50 hours a week, and the weekly pay will be $700." you also need the clause that follows to break down the weekly rate into hourly and OT:
"Nanny will be paid her regular rate of $12.72/hour for the first 40 hours of the work week, and she will be paid her overtime rate of $19.08 for all hours worked over 40 in a week."
Good luck with your search!
3 weeks - 504 hours. Assuming you're actually willing to not be paid for 8 sleeping hours per day, you're left with 336 hours.
Determine what you want to do about sleeping hours and determine what you would charge hourly for the job once you've clarified your responsibilities.
Determine what you want to do about sleeping hours and determine what you would charge hourly for the job once you've clarified your responsibilities.
Are you only going to be watching out for the kids, or will you be in charge of managing the household during those 3 weeks? IOW, are you truly the de facto parent and homeowner, or is there someone else who will be available to help take care of things if the dishwasher floods the place, or one of the kids gets ill at 3 am?
Is this happening when the kids will be in school or out of school?
What sort of school activities/outside activities will the kids be doing?
If you are sole charge, don't accept less than 3K a week, especially if you and the kids don't know each other well - the limit testing will be draining.
If you will have someone "on-call" to help in case of emergency, I would say anything from 1,500 - 2,000/week is reasonable.
I'm presuming here that you are in a major metro area, and not a small town.
Is this happening when the kids will be in school or out of school?
What sort of school activities/outside activities will the kids be doing?
If you are sole charge, don't accept less than 3K a week, especially if you and the kids don't know each other well - the limit testing will be draining.
If you will have someone "on-call" to help in case of emergency, I would say anything from 1,500 - 2,000/week is reasonable.
I'm presuming here that you are in a major metro area, and not a small town.
45 hours a week, no more than 10 hours a day, no more than 5.5 days worked in a week.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Nanny will be going from a two child situation to a two child situation--not doubling the workload. She will have a 20 month old and a 26 month old. The share rate would be be 18.50/hour.
WIth 40 hours plus 10 overtime that works out to 57,700. a year. Its a lot more than what I made in my 30s, while paying off college and grad school loans!
Actually, her yearly would be $52,910. {18.5 x 55 x 52} as opposed to her current yearly which is 17 x 55 x 52 = $48,620. $4,290 isn't enough money to make up for the headaches of a share in most cases.
And unless your older child will never ever ever see nanny and be in her care, nanny is in a **3** child share. And even if that weren't the case, caring for unrelated toddlers is different from caring for siblings of different ages, and dealing with one set of employers is different from dealing with 2 sets of employers.
Any days that your older kid isn't in school/aftercare, where will that child be? How will you compensate nanny for the third kid during sick days, vacation days, and school breaks?
To answer your question, if nanny currently makes $17/hour, up her share rate to around 133% of that pay rate and divide the cost in a way that covers your needs for nanny to care for your older kid on occasion. 55/45, 60/40, whatever. Nanny will make $22/hour, you can pay $12 and still save $5/hour, $275/week or $14,300/year off of your current costs. Share family will pay $550/week for care.
Anonymous wrote:$14- $15 an hour is ridiculously high for someone bringing a 5 month old along. You need to think of the liability..your car insurance and home insurance would not cover injury to her child in your car or property. The child is no longer covered as guest.
Is your house baby proofed? How do you deal with conflicts between naps and activities that your older need to be driven to during the day? Older kids can be outside or go to the pool when its hot while a 5 month old can not stay out for long in the heat. This is not a situation to walk into without being very aware of the downsides which are numerous.
This. You do, realize, OP, that your children will take a back seat to a 5month olds schedule, right? Naps alone will limit your nanny's ability to make your children a priority. Don't do this unless you have to. If you have to, pay no more than $9/hr.
Why would you pay someone top dollar when you know they are taking advantage of you?
If the nanny is serious about bringing her child with her, she will have already decided that her child's nap needs will have to be met with naps in the car or while out and about, because nanny will recognize that her child is like a "3rd sibling" in your family. 2nd and 3rd babies don't get to stay home to nap when their older siblings have activities, even if that means going to the pool.
If nanny has not already thought all that through, then she is not a good choice. But if she has, and she has a plan for making sure your kids get quality care, you should give it a try. Offer her a trial week and see how it goes. Obviously, your kids are old enough to self-report any issues, and you should be able to tell if "Nanny didn't take us to the pool!" is due to nanny's baby taking a nap or to your kids losing that pool time for some other reason.
As far as pay goes, IMO $17 is pretty high. $13 - $14 sounds more appropriate. $9 - $10 is ridiculously low.
OP, first, let the other share family know that you are expecting and want to find out their views on having a 3 child share.
If they are willing to discuss that possibility, meet with them and figure out logistics, like where 3rd will sleep, how nanny will transport all 3 places, and so on. Also, talk money. The family with one child is going to likely want to drop their rate slightly, so you will need to up YOUR rate significantly to make the share appealing financially to your nanny.
THEN sit down with both families and talk with nanny. Nanny may have no interest in a 3 child share, or she might be open to it, or very excited about it. Discuss some of the issues you have already covered in your share-parent meeting. Talk wages, as well.
If the other family is not willing to be part of a 3 kid share, then you will need to discuss how to part ways, and look at your share contract to confirm notice time for nanny. At that point, I would guess that each family can make their own offer to the nanny and see what she chooses to do.
Above all, remain civil and be honest and frank about your desire to keep nanny. Don't sneak around. It's childish and will backfire on you.
If they are willing to discuss that possibility, meet with them and figure out logistics, like where 3rd will sleep, how nanny will transport all 3 places, and so on. Also, talk money. The family with one child is going to likely want to drop their rate slightly, so you will need to up YOUR rate significantly to make the share appealing financially to your nanny.
THEN sit down with both families and talk with nanny. Nanny may have no interest in a 3 child share, or she might be open to it, or very excited about it. Discuss some of the issues you have already covered in your share-parent meeting. Talk wages, as well.
If the other family is not willing to be part of a 3 kid share, then you will need to discuss how to part ways, and look at your share contract to confirm notice time for nanny. At that point, I would guess that each family can make their own offer to the nanny and see what she chooses to do.
Above all, remain civil and be honest and frank about your desire to keep nanny. Don't sneak around. It's childish and will backfire on you.
If she's earning 765 NET per week, then a 1.9% net raise is perfectly fine. If she's making close to $1000/week for 2 kids, 40 hours, she's doing just fine.
Anonymous wrote:We're going away on our first vacation without the baby (10 months), and our nanny graciously agreed to stay at our house and take care of him. We currently pay her $16/hr. We'll be gone 7 days and 6 nights. Could anyone give me an idea of how much we should pay her? Do we pay for her food as well? Thanks!
You must pay her overtime for hours worked over 40. 168 hours plus OT at $16/hour is $3712.
You ought to pay her for every hour worked, including an overnight stipend that can be higher of your baby doesn't sleep through the night. 14 hour days x 7 (and OT) plus $600 for the 10 hour overnights is $2632.
You can pay her for every hour worked minus her 8 hours of unpaid "rest time". 16 hour days x 7 (and OT) is $3008.
You could pay her a lower than normal hourly rate, combined with either of the above options. A 25% pay cut would mean either $2124 or $2256.
You might also ask her how much she thinks is fair for the work she'll be doing, and then bump that number up as needed to get a fair rate based on the above figures. Nanny asks for $1200, and you insist on paying $2000, knowing that's a GREAT deal.
Or you could have your parents come in if they are capable of caring for your kiddo and able to interact well with nanny, who would work her normal hours.
You could also offer nanny an additional 5 days PTO plus a bonus and a nice spa gift card, along with her normal pay for the week.
First off, many many nannies expect to work 50+ hour weeks. As long as you don't expect nanny to never sit down and stay constantly busy with housework, a 60 hour week is NOT guaranteed to burn nanny out.
Your answer depends on a few things:
1) Your childcare budget - if you hire one nanny to work 60 hours, you'll be looking at a lot of OT hours. For example, if you found a nanny who earns $15/hour, a 60 hour week (with 20 hours paid at $22.50) means a GROSS weekly paycheck of $1050, plus an additional $150 or so for your share of taxes and the cost of a nanny tax service. On the other hand, hiring 2 nannies to split the hours and avoid OT means a total gross weekly payout of $900 plus that $150 in employer costs. So your yearly cost differential is $7800.
2) Whether you can find 2 nannies whose childcare philosophies are compatible with yours, and whether they can effectively work together and split the shifts. Yes, even if they work different days, they have to be able to work together. If nanny A does the laundry but doesn't get it put away on her day, Nanny B needs to be willing to put the clean stuff away without grousing. You'll be managing a childcare TEAM, and that has a full set of possible issues.
3) Whether you can find the 2 nannies above who are willing and able to manage on a lower "salary" than is normal for a nanny to earn. Let's say they split the days 3/2. $15 x 36 = $540 and $15 x 24 = $360. If you also expect them to be able to cover for each other, even last minute, you have just limited their ability to find other work for the days they are not scheduled for you. If you don't expect that, they may find other work that forces them to ask you to adjust your hour expectation. If nanny A works 3 days for you, she needs a 2 day job that slots into her available time perfectly. If she can't find that, she may come to you to ask if she can, instead, work 5 short days in order to take an after school job elsewhere. If the other nanny isn't willing to then shift HER schedule, you have chaos.
Good luck in your decision!
Your answer depends on a few things:
1) Your childcare budget - if you hire one nanny to work 60 hours, you'll be looking at a lot of OT hours. For example, if you found a nanny who earns $15/hour, a 60 hour week (with 20 hours paid at $22.50) means a GROSS weekly paycheck of $1050, plus an additional $150 or so for your share of taxes and the cost of a nanny tax service. On the other hand, hiring 2 nannies to split the hours and avoid OT means a total gross weekly payout of $900 plus that $150 in employer costs. So your yearly cost differential is $7800.
2) Whether you can find 2 nannies whose childcare philosophies are compatible with yours, and whether they can effectively work together and split the shifts. Yes, even if they work different days, they have to be able to work together. If nanny A does the laundry but doesn't get it put away on her day, Nanny B needs to be willing to put the clean stuff away without grousing. You'll be managing a childcare TEAM, and that has a full set of possible issues.
3) Whether you can find the 2 nannies above who are willing and able to manage on a lower "salary" than is normal for a nanny to earn. Let's say they split the days 3/2. $15 x 36 = $540 and $15 x 24 = $360. If you also expect them to be able to cover for each other, even last minute, you have just limited their ability to find other work for the days they are not scheduled for you. If you don't expect that, they may find other work that forces them to ask you to adjust your hour expectation. If nanny A works 3 days for you, she needs a 2 day job that slots into her available time perfectly. If she can't find that, she may come to you to ask if she can, instead, work 5 short days in order to take an after school job elsewhere. If the other nanny isn't willing to then shift HER schedule, you have chaos.
Good luck in your decision!
Anonymous wrote:If I indicate in the contract that nanny has to pay her own taxes is that sufficient in avoiding problems later or do I have to pay nanny taxes? What is the law on that in DC?
It's actually illegal to 1099 a household employee, and nannies are household employees.
If you were to suggest to me that you wished to treat me as an IC, I would explain the law to you, and, if I were truly desperate for a job, I would accept the position at an hourly rate n25% higher than my normal rate for a job like yours, so that I could cover the expenses of paying YOUR share of employment taxes, pay a terrific accountant to do my taxes, and save money to cover any penalties that I might incur when I filed my taxes and the IRS saw that you were a tax cheat and came after you for back taxes and penalties.
|