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I'm pretty sure that a nanny who posted on an anonymous forum seeking play dates would be fired by her employers before she could read all the responses telling her she was a twit and a bad nanny, and yaddayaddayadda.
And PP, how do you suggest infants and toddlers develop friendships and learn to interact well with other kids if they are not allowed to go to a play group?
(Before anyone tells me that infants can't be friends with each other, you might want to consider the possibility that infants who regularly see each other and play together do actually enjoy the interaction and get excited to see each other. Those friendships deepen as kids grow older too, and it's a pleasure to witness.)
And PP, how do you suggest infants and toddlers develop friendships and learn to interact well with other kids if they are not allowed to go to a play group?
(Before anyone tells me that infants can't be friends with each other, you might want to consider the possibility that infants who regularly see each other and play together do actually enjoy the interaction and get excited to see each other. Those friendships deepen as kids grow older too, and it's a pleasure to witness.)
OP, if you can offer paid sick days in addition to the days you outlined above, that will make a set (yet inflexible) vacation schedule more attractive.
If that's not possible, and if any and all days outside of what you listed above will be unpaid if nanny needs off, be 101% sure that any candidate understands that during your initial phone interview. That will save you some time that could be wasted interviewing people who believe that they can get you to compromise on PTO.
You could say something as simple as, "Due to PTO restrictions in my workplace, you will get X days of PTO in a set schedule of abc. If you have to take off any days other than abc you will need to take them as unpaid leave. This is not negotiable, and I am making sure candidates understand that before proceeding top in-person interviews."
If that's not possible, and if any and all days outside of what you listed above will be unpaid if nanny needs off, be 101% sure that any candidate understands that during your initial phone interview. That will save you some time that could be wasted interviewing people who believe that they can get you to compromise on PTO.
You could say something as simple as, "Due to PTO restrictions in my workplace, you will get X days of PTO in a set schedule of abc. If you have to take off any days other than abc you will need to take them as unpaid leave. This is not negotiable, and I am making sure candidates understand that before proceeding top in-person interviews."
Anonymous wrote:We're three months pregnant with our first child, and we're just starting to look into child care. We'd like to have a nanny (either just for our kid, or through nanny share). Unfortunately, we work more than 40 hours/week. We could adjust our schedules a little big so there isn't as much overlap, but we'd need to have someone between 7:30 a.m. and 5 p.m, M-F. Is this doable? Some of my friends say that their nannies refuse to work more than 40 hours/week.
As a career nanny, I have never worked less than 50 hours a week. Nannies who refuse to work more than 40 hours a week not only limit their pool of families dramatically, but they eliminate all that wonderful OT pay they get for hours worked over 40! OP, you should be easily able to find someone to work the hours you need.
None of the above. Landon or Sterling might work well though!
If the parents aren't asking you to cut your $20/hour normal rate, don't do it. You could offer to cut your sleeping rate by 50%, to $10/hour, but for pete's sake, don't tell them you aren't worth what they want to pay you!
I think $910 - $960 is a completely fair wage for 58 hours with a high needs kid.
As far as the child wanting constant interaction, I would guess the parents are fully aware of her needs, and that's behind the high babysitting rate they pay. For the 58 hour gig, see if you can set up a play date each day, and you can feel free to set a timer for a few 20 - 30 minute times of "solo play" so you can recharge a bit. Be sure to bring a book or a craft for yourself, so the child sees that you are busy doing something and want her to be busy as well.
I think $910 - $960 is a completely fair wage for 58 hours with a high needs kid.
As far as the child wanting constant interaction, I would guess the parents are fully aware of her needs, and that's behind the high babysitting rate they pay. For the 58 hour gig, see if you can set up a play date each day, and you can feel free to set a timer for a few 20 - 30 minute times of "solo play" so you can recharge a bit. Be sure to bring a book or a craft for yourself, so the child sees that you are busy doing something and want her to be busy as well.
It's really easy to bitch and moan ANONYMOUSLY about how everyone but you and your friends are mean, gossipy, stupid, bossy, and so on ad nauseum.
How many of you have the guts to actually sign your names to your complaints?
Or, even better, how many of you have the courage to bring your issues to the leaders of the groups you are so happy to complain about anonymously here, and see if you can resolve your issues like mature adults?
I mean, I am fully aware that anonymous crap-slinging is some people's idea of a fun and exciting hobby, but if you don't want to be dismissed as silly crap-slingers, maybe you should woman up and try to resolve things or, as a second alternative, if you don't like a group, leave and go elsewhere.
How many of you have the guts to actually sign your names to your complaints?
Or, even better, how many of you have the courage to bring your issues to the leaders of the groups you are so happy to complain about anonymously here, and see if you can resolve your issues like mature adults?
I mean, I am fully aware that anonymous crap-slinging is some people's idea of a fun and exciting hobby, but if you don't want to be dismissed as silly crap-slingers, maybe you should woman up and try to resolve things or, as a second alternative, if you don't like a group, leave and go elsewhere.
Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the replies.
Also I forgot to mention I am from Seattle,WA.
Nanny A is a pretty slim girl so no weight issues there.
But I am not sure I would be able to test Nanny A for a full day because she doesn't live locally. She would be relocating here only if she gets a job here. She said she can meet me for an interview when she comes to attend a wedding here sometime in July
As for Nanny B I had her come for 4 hours for the evening and she did the nighttime routine with the kids.
I am having her again for a full Saturday(today) and she is currently working with the kids while I am sitting on my computer typing this.
She says she would really love to work with my kid and feels that she can help him.She also got small toys for the kids.She is brimming with ideas on what we can do to help with the sensory issues(make board with different textures,make home made playdoh etc) so she seems eager.
Does that seem deseperate though I wonder?
But she is not reading his cues as accurately as I would have wanted her to but then it is her first full day with him so am willing to give the benefit of doubt.
Like ,she was giving him water and kept the cup back on the table .She and the table were facing my kid..He then stretched out his hand she thought he needed to be picked up and picked him rather than offering the water.He was happy to be picked but after 5 mins again stretched his hand and this time he was closer to the table and the water so she got it and offered the water.
So, you are considering a young fit girl with no nanny experience but some SN experience and a degree in speech language therapy who wants to become a speech therapist and is moving to your area to be with a boy. You will have no chance to meet her for several weeks, and likely no chance to have her work a trial day until she has moved to your area. She eventually wants to be a speech therapist - does she need to attend Grad school to achieve that goal? How will she go to school and work 50 hours a week, if that is the case?
Or an older woman with health issues (Can she pick your child up easily? Have you asked her if her diabetes is under control?) who has nanny experience and personal experience with SN, and who wants to find a new family to stay with long term. She is also enthusiastic and full of ideas to help your child and seems eager to take on the challenge of your position. But you are thinking she seems desperate and unable to read your non-verbal child's signals after spending a whole, what, 12 hours with him, and any other kids you may have.
Ok, here's my advice to you: Have the older nanny work for you on a trial basis for 2+ weeks, and then decide if her skills are a match for your needs. Try, during that time, to change your mindset on her from "She's fat and desperate!" to "Wow, she reports her disease is controlled, and her references report NO issues due to her health. And look at how much initiative she has already shown, and how eager she is to help my child!" During this time, also contact ALL of the younger woman's references and ask good, open, probing questions about her childcare skills and how much time she had spent with SN kids. If her references pan out, , and you feel you need to interview her, do so when she visits for the wedding.
Of course, my advice to the older nanny is a bit different: I would tell her to give you the courtesy of a trial period, but to keep hunting for a job where her initiative and abilities and experience won't be seen as "desperate" and her potential employer won't focus more on her weight and her disease than on her skill set.
For those parents who prefer to hire housekeeper/nanny combos, how do you manage if your nap expectations are not met? Do you start dropping housework if your child is a poor napper from the start of his time with HK/Nanny? (Say, 20 minute naps 5 times a day as an infant, 1 hour nap as a toddler, no nap at age 2.)
What happens when your child drops his naps at age 3 or 4 but your second child is now napping 1 hour stretches 3x a day? Do you still expect HK/Nanny to clean your house?
I guess my question is, how do you keep your expectations realistic and do you choose to have HK/Nanny focus on your kids or your floors and laundry? Do you consider what you could accomplish in your HK/Nanny's place, or do you expect more of them than you do of yourself?
What happens when your child drops his naps at age 3 or 4 but your second child is now napping 1 hour stretches 3x a day? Do you still expect HK/Nanny to clean your house?
I guess my question is, how do you keep your expectations realistic and do you choose to have HK/Nanny focus on your kids or your floors and laundry? Do you consider what you could accomplish in your HK/Nanny's place, or do you expect more of them than you do of yourself?
I would start with saying something like:
MB, I would like to show you current laws and current recommendations on appropriate car seats for DC. I know we both want dc to be in the safest seat possible when he is riding in my car. I believe the safest seat for him is one of the following (show her info on 2 or 3 seats that fit correctly in your car and are safety/age appropriate.) because of X, Y, and Z factors.
If she poo-poos you, I would just buy whatever car seat you are comfortable with him using in your car, and tell her that for insurance purposes you chose to install that seat.
MB, I would like to show you current laws and current recommendations on appropriate car seats for DC. I know we both want dc to be in the safest seat possible when he is riding in my car. I believe the safest seat for him is one of the following (show her info on 2 or 3 seats that fit correctly in your car and are safety/age appropriate.) because of X, Y, and Z factors.
If she poo-poos you, I would just buy whatever car seat you are comfortable with him using in your car, and tell her that for insurance purposes you chose to install that seat.
OP, may you get reported to the appropriate authorities for not paying your employee according to FLSA.
PP, the nanny is working for the family that is paying her. If a family chooses not to pay for some hours, then nanny isn't working for them during those hours, and she owes them nada.
What it boils down to is either OP is taking advantage of the other family by expecting them to subsidize her emergency childcare needs, or the other family is taking advantage of OP by expecting her to "pay to play" in case of any days off from school.
Logistically speaking, when it comes to tax implications this sort of arrangement, where pay and hours could very well shift every other week (with days off of school, etc.) fluctuating rates will be a nightmare.
Unless OP's child will NEVER need care those 9 hours a week, OP needs to suck it up and pay for availability. That way, nanny will be aware that her schedule is subject to change, and that she is paid to be around if the OP needs her.
What it boils down to is either OP is taking advantage of the other family by expecting them to subsidize her emergency childcare needs, or the other family is taking advantage of OP by expecting her to "pay to play" in case of any days off from school.
Logistically speaking, when it comes to tax implications this sort of arrangement, where pay and hours could very well shift every other week (with days off of school, etc.) fluctuating rates will be a nightmare.
Unless OP's child will NEVER need care those 9 hours a week, OP needs to suck it up and pay for availability. That way, nanny will be aware that her schedule is subject to change, and that she is paid to be around if the OP needs her.
Anonymous wrote:PP. Why would she need to pay for the nanny's availability when the nanny is presumably already being paid to be at work?
$100/wk is over $5000/yr. That's not being cheap. Just sensible.
As I outlined in my post, if OP wants nanny to be AVAILABLE to care for OP's child if needed during those 9 hours per week, then she needs to pay nanny to BE AVAILABLE.
Yes, nanny is already being paid for those hours. She is paid to BE AVAILABLE to care for the other family's child, not the OP's child.
Let's try this example. Nanny is NOT paid by OP to be available 3 days a week from 9a - 12p. Nanny arranges to take the other children (those she IS being paid to care for) on an outing from 9a - 12p. OP calls nanny at 10a and tells nanny she needs nanny to go and get OP's ill child at school. Nanny has EVERY RIGHT to refuse, because she is not being paid to BE AVAILABLE to care for OP's kid. However, if OP does pay nanny to be available, then nanny must leave her planned activity and take the other family's kids to go and get OP's child.
And if OP is paying $8/hour x 9 hours a week for availability, that's $72/week, or $3744/year. If OP cannot afford to pay that amount to have the nanny "on call", she may need to consider daycare.
I wonder if the sitters who meet the parents/kids for the first time on the night of the job have put personal safeguards in place, like telling someone where they are going, who they are working for, and arranging to text or call a friend with an "all is well" safe word within 1 hour of the job start time.
There are sick people out there, and I can't imagine wandering into a strange house without some sort of plan like the one above!
There are sick people out there, and I can't imagine wandering into a strange house without some sort of plan like the one above!
Anonymous wrote:We are thinking about starting a nannyshare with a family that has two children, 18 months and 3 months old. My child is 2 and goes to preschool 3 mornings a week from 9-12. While, we love the nanny and the other family. Should we be paying part of the hourly rate, while our child is in preschool? We want to be completely fair, however we also have the added expense of preschool. I am planning on driving my child to the preschool. So, we only need the pick up. I am curious about what other people do in this situation. No, I am not trying to penny pinch. However, the nanny will be solely working for the other family for 9 hours during the week.
if you have any expectation at all that you may at some point need the nanny to either be available to get your child early at school (for example, if your child gets ill at 10 am)oir if you will need nanny to care for your child at all during school holidays/summers, then yes, you need to CYA by paying for her availability during the 9 hours your child is at school.
If, on the other hand, you will NEVER need nanny to work those 3 days from 9a - noon, then you can skip paying her to keep that time open for your use. That means YOU do sick kid rescue, YOU do all coverage for no school days, etc.
Honestly, unless you are for some reason paying $20/hour for your part of the share, I'd think the $$ would be pretty minimal. You're probably paying $8/hour, and the other family is paying $12+, or am I way off? My point is, to quibble over less than $100/week is either an indication you are penny pinching, or that you cannot in any way truly afford nanny care.
Anonymous wrote:ok, thanks all.
Ideally, we'd be able to find people with similar hours because I don't want it to be a situation where there's weirdness over who pays more in taxes and all that. But I consider 38 hours "part time" just because I know a nanny's week is more than 40 hours!
Trying to figure this all out is difficult!
There are nannies who would LOVE to have a 40 hour work week, OP.
And since you and your share partners will be paying nanny separately and filing nanny taxes separately, there should be no issues at all over taxes.
I think, since you may very well have fewer hours than the other parents, that you will be less likely to host. It would be annoying after a while for nanny to have to drag the 2nd family's kid back to their home every day. So you will be facing the am and pm task of getting your child to care.
In your shoes, I would ask for a 5 day week/short days schedule at your work, and then consider whether you want to have nanny care to also cover some hours in addition to work so that you can, for example, go grocery shopping/run errands without your child. Of course, that all depends on what your childcare budget is - what are you looking to pay for 40 hours of care?
Ultimately, the weekly rate will determine, in great part, how much experience your potential nanny will have - not many nannies who are self-supporting with 10 years experience will agree to a $15/hour 2 family nanny share. But a novice nanny with limited formal childcare experience might be willing to accept that wage.
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