Second child, "stealing" nanny from nanny share?
![[Post New]](/nanny-forum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
I have tried searching and have not found much on this topic...
Our two-year-old is currently in a nanny share (hosted at our house). What have others done with the arrival of a second child? (Moving the older child to daycare is not likely given the popularity of the centers by our house.) Do people try to take/steal the current nanny to care for both children? (I doubt that would go over well with the other family!) Do people have two nanny shares? (Seems logistically complicated.) Or just hire a brand new nanny? (Also hard because we do like our current nanny a lot.) Honestly, it makes me want to move our to the 'burbs where it is easy to get daycare or something. Sigh. |
Anonymous
|
Why can't the nanny care for three children? If all parties involved are agreeable to adding a third child to the share then it's just a matter of adjusting each family's share of the nanny's pay (adding in a bump for the new baby). I do agree with you that maintaining two shares is just silly...at that point you'd be better off starting fresh with a new nanny.
If adding a new baby to the current share isn't an issue then it is possible to discuss what the options are...A) Nanny stays with family with 2 kids, other family finds new share and nanny B) Family with new baby finds a new nanny to care for just their two kids. Unless both families and the nanny are open to adding a new baby to the current share someone is going to have to find a new nanny. Would you be able to maintain the nanny's current salary on your own if the other family left the share? The nanny would still be caring for two children and likely wouldn't be happy about her pay decreasing. |
Anonymous
| Why would the nanny want to work for you when she finds out you have no scruples? |
Anonymous
Just the fact that you mentioned this means you're thinking about it (or thought about it). Being selfish and inconsiderate will get you no where. Just get a new nanny. |
Anonymous
| Of course people do almost anything to get the best nanny. If you can offer her the opportunity to earn a better living, why not? |
Anonymous
| Let the nanny decide which job she'd prefer. |
Anonymous
| Approach the nanny and ask her if she would want to switch to just watching your two children. Maybe she would be thrilled with that arrangement, maybe she would prefer to stay in a nanny share. If she would like to move to working only for you, you should go to the other family and let them know that you are planning on finding a nanny and that you plan to offer the job to your current nanny. They might be upset, but they should understand that no one "owns" your share nanny-- if there is another job opportunity-- she has a right to it just like anyone else would. |
Anonymous
Not the OP, this seems hards. We have been on the other side and finding a new nanny share partner can be difficult as well. Talk about it openly with the other family. |
Anonymous
| Harsh, not "hards". Opps! |
Anonymous
| I agree this should first be a conversation with the other family. Maybe they are planning to dissolve the share, maybe they like the idea of 3 kids, maybe not - get on the same page with them first then make whatever offer(s) to your nanny. |
Anonymous
| I like the idea of both families and the nanny meeting together. You would not want the nanny to feel the families went behind her back. |
Anonymous
| I'm a nanny in your situation, the host mb is going to have a second child but in my case they want to keep the share and add the third. If they didn't and tried to convince to leave the other family, I'd prob turn them down. Because a) I'm closer to the non host family, b) host family has always been really cheap about everything related to child activities and c) they don't seem financially stable enough to afford me on their own. |
Anonymous
They are her employers, not her partners. They should discuss their needs and options privately before involving the nanny. I doubt their nanny would want to sit through their awkward "negotiations" (for lack of a better word) anyway. |
Anonymous
|
When I was in a share with my first, the two share families discussed this when we hired the nanny. Basically the first to get pregnant first would offer nanny the full-time, one-family job ..no hard feelings. We told candidates this b/c both of us were expecting to have a 2 child family and we wanted candidates to know that this was possibly a share to single-family long-term position.
In reality the other family clicked better with the nanny and we wanted our child in an academic preschool while the other family just wanted nanny. A lot changes over the first 2 years of a share. |
nannydebsays
Member Offline
Member Offline
|
OP, first, let the other share family know that you are expecting and want to find out their views on having a 3 child share.
If they are willing to discuss that possibility, meet with them and figure out logistics, like where 3rd will sleep, how nanny will transport all 3 places, and so on. Also, talk money. The family with one child is going to likely want to drop their rate slightly, so you will need to up YOUR rate significantly to make the share appealing financially to your nanny. THEN sit down with both families and talk with nanny. Nanny may have no interest in a 3 child share, or she might be open to it, or very excited about it. Discuss some of the issues you have already covered in your share-parent meeting. Talk wages, as well. If the other family is not willing to be part of a 3 kid share, then you will need to discuss how to part ways, and look at your share contract to confirm notice time for nanny. At that point, I would guess that each family can make their own offer to the nanny and see what she chooses to do. Above all, remain civil and be honest and frank about your desire to keep nanny. Don't sneak around. It's childish and will backfire on you. |