8 Year Old is Bossy!!!

[Anonymous]

Before anyone jumps on me, I'm not worried I could be in trouble. I'm doing nothing wrong. I bust my butt at work and never do anything I wouldn't do if mom wasn't looking over my shoulder. Anyway: I care for three children. One is an infant and the other two are 6 and 8.

The 8 year old is constantly watching me and questioning what I do. The other day I was cooking some scrambled eggs for the 6 year old and the 8 year old runs up to me and says, "[Baby] pooped! I can smell it! Change her!" I tell him I'm just going to finish cooking his sister's eggs and then I will change her. He says, "No! NOW! SHE SMELLS!" I tell him to calm down and that I'm going to do it in less than a minute and he says, "I'm telling my mom about this! YOU'RE NOT TAKING CARE OF MY SISTER!"

He's kind of a high strung kid, he worries a lot. I know I'm doing a good job, but it stresses me out.

The other day he told me, "My mom is upset about the scratches you left on the fridge." I was confused and asked him what he meant and he said his mom asked him how the scratches on their new fridge got there and he told her he saw me washing it with the wrong cleaner. I've....never cleaned the outside of their fridge. With anything, ever. They don't have a different nanny or housekeeper either. I told him I've never washed the fridge and asked why he said that. He just kept reiterating that he was "really sure" he saw me clean it and that I made the scratches.

The other day I gave his sister a cookie and he said he was going to tell him mom about how I was giving her too many snacks and refused to eat lunch unless I took the cookie away because she's only allowed to have X amount of snacks a day. However, I made the choice to let her have a cookie while I was making lunch because we had walked to a farm that was 1.5 miles away and she had gotten a lot of exercise.

All day he takes issues with things I'm doing. He questions whether or not I've buckled his sisters into the car properly, whether or not I'm looking at my phone too much (I was checking the weather forecast FYI), whether or not I'm allowed to tell them what to do. It just wears me out sometimes!

[Anonymous]

Ugh, he sounds like a brat. No advice, but good luck.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, he sounds like a brat. No advice, but good luck.

[Anonymous]

I would address with the parent right away. The child is being inappropriate and must be dealt with properly. If the parents will not address him I would find another position.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, he sounds like a brat. No advice, but good luck.

I'm trying to be understanding...I think he just has a lot of worries for someone his age, but it gets tiring. I just don't want to deal with the awkward conversation with his mom because he told her something crazy.

When I was driving them somewhere a few weeks ago he told me I shouldn't be listening to the radio when I'm driving because his mom doesn't and told me I ran a red light (I didn't- you can turn right on red at many intersections) and that he was going to tell hi smom. I don't know if the two things were related, but now suddenly she's acting weird about me driving them anywhere. If we want to go anywhere I have to walk with them- I don't mind, it's good exercise. But it'd be nice if she would let me use the car for places further away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would address with the parent right away. The child is being inappropriate and must be dealt with properly. If the parents will not address him I would find another position.

Any thoughts on how I could broach the topic? He probably acts the same way with her- I've seen him be argumentative/bossy with both parents. I'm not sure what I can say that doesn't come off as, "Your kid is rude".

[Anonymous]

I call troll everything you've described sounds over the top

[Anonymous]

I would be direct at the end of your shift one day or ask her for a time you guys could talk. I would explain that your really love her kids, but this has been bothering you. Then I would ask her what your teamwork plan can be to address it. The child is inappropriate and may have issues you're not aware of. This happened to me, but the roles were different. I was an MB and welcomed my nanny's daughter into the home. He was very direct and critical of me and I no longer felt comfortable with her. Turns out she was in therapy for issues.

[Anonymous]

I would let him know that *I* am the adult and *HE* is the child and therefore, HE does not tell ME what to do. I tell him what to do.

He can let me know the baby pooped, but he does not get to instruct me to change her. I would also speak with the parents to let them know their son is a big freaking tattletale whose tales are a bit long.

[nannydebsays]

I think he's trying to get a HUGE reaction from you. WRT diapers, perhaps you can offer to show him how to change baby, and he can do it himself if he feels baby can't wait 5 minutes.

Other issues, try giving him as little attention as possible when he's freaking out, and giving him lots of positive attention when he's calmer and less "directive".

If that doesn't work after a few weeks, you'll need to talk with his parents to determine a family plan for coping with his issues, whatever they may be.

[Anonymous]

nannydebsays wrote:I think he's trying to get a HUGE reaction from you.

This actually makes a lot of sense...sometimes he says things like, "I hate you. I wish you weren't here!" but he says it in this weird way. Almost with a smile and a pause like he's waiting to see what I'll do. I just say, "Hey! Don't say that- you're my buddy! I'll get sad if you say you hate me." and tease him a bit so he lightens up.

Maybe he just needs extra attention. He is an oldest child of three after all.