People's perceptions of hosting au pairs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin retired from teaching elementary school at age 50. She now works a s nanny and gets $32 an hour cash plus lots of perks. Families were fighting over her -- an ES teacher with a masters in Elem Ed who can tutor, etc -- she has her pick of families.

I'm this poster. My cousin works 7am-5pm Wed-Sat for her employer family and travels with them on those days when they request it. She gets tons of overtime when she does. Her daughter is grown and she retired a few years ago (now age 53) so she has the flexibility to travel. It also gave her time to train for triathlons again that she loved so much pre-child-rearing days. She has energy galore, she says, caring for a couple of kids instead of classrooms full of kids. I suppose the Sun-Tues nanny does the same, though I never asked the details.

[Anonymous]

When you say she is being paid in cash, I assume you mean she is working illegally (off the books)?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

Actually there are not. There are travel nanny agencies for sure, but nope, there are not a lot of local nannies who will travel as part of their regular duties.

My apologies, I didn’t realize you interviewed every nanny in the area. And with your top notch package it’s a shame you couldn’t find anyone. So you must be right.

My apologies. I didn’t realize you know the majority of the nannies in the area. Obviously you are right.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think they are too cheap to hire a professional nanny. But I also see the benefit is some situations.

The professional nanny threads complaining about employers being 5-10 minutes late are all the proof I need that a professional nanny won’t work for us.

You realize that being late for daycare or after school care would be the same issue.

Which is why I have an au pair...

I agree, you have to pay nanny more if you expect that level of flexibility.

No matter how much you're willing to pay, I think you'd quickly burn out a real adult professional, who would never be able to make firm evening plans during weeknights. Seems like you'd mostly get the most desperate candidates who would move on quickly once they got a better opportunity.

Or you’d get a live-in professional, who accepts higher pay with the knowledge that weekends are her only personal time. But I also understand that most AP HFs can’t afford that kind of professional, flexible nanny. ~24/5 live-in nanny who recognizes that APs fill a gap

You’re dramatically underestimating how rare that sort of nanny is.

Well, as I said, I’m 24/5, and I know several others. If you go through a reputable agency, they’re easier to find.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

Actually there are not. There are travel nanny agencies for sure, but nope, there are not a lot of local nannies who will travel as part of their regular duties.

My apologies, I didn’t realize you interviewed every nanny in the area. And with your top notch package it’s a shame you couldn’t find anyone. So you must be right.

My apologies. I didn’t realize you know the majority of the nannies in the area. Obviously you are right.

Thank you.

As an actual nanny, I do know a ton of nannies who do travel with families. However, these nannies do not come cheap but you know that as you’ve interviewed so many right...

[Anonymous]

Why is the same nanny here arguing with HFs, people who actually prefer APs instead of nannies ? Of course she will have nothing positive to say, stop entertaining her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is the same nanny here arguing with HFs, people who actually prefer APs instead of nannies ? Of course she will have nothing positive to say, stop entertaining her!

The question was about perceptions. If you prefer APs, fine but no need to demean nannies.
No need to bend over backwards to explain why you prefer APs.
No need to get upset about ppls response to the question that was posed.

Also, it seems like there were a few nannies replying.

[Anonymous]

I am the 12:33 PP. I didn’t respond to the original post because I don’t care about people perceptions about me having an AP. However I got curious when I noticed that this thread had many pages and I was half surprised to realize that a couple of nannies hijacked this thread.

I might be wrong but I am pretty sure that when the OP asked about people perception she was asking about HF’s families, friends, colleagues perception, not what the « competition » thought of it. Because we all know what most nannies think of family having APs regardless of your reasons!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the 12:33 PP. I didn’t respond to the original post because I don’t care about people perceptions about me having an AP. However I got curious when I noticed that this thread had many pages and I was half surprised to realize that a couple of nannies hijacked this thread.

I might be wrong but I am pretty sure that when the OP asked about people perception she was asking about HF’s families, friends, colleagues perception, not what the « competition » thought of it. Because we all know what most nannies think of family having APs regardless of your reasons!

OP here. Thanks for recentering. Looks like it's a lost cause at this point

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How exactly would a nanny with a family/side babysitting gigs travel regularly? We have never found one, and would end up having to pay for a hotel nanny AND the nanny at home who refused to travel. The au pair travels. Big difference.

Actually, there are plenty of nannies who travel with families. There are plenty of nannies who don’t have a family of their own. Just bc you couldn’t find/afford that type of nanny doesn’t mean they aren’t out there.

Actually there are not. There are travel nanny agencies for sure, but nope, there are not a lot of local nannies who will travel as part of their regular duties.

My apologies, I didn’t realize you interviewed every nanny in the area. And with your top notch package it’s a shame you couldn’t find anyone. So you must be right.

There it is. Moms, if you haven't interviewed every nanny in the DC metro area-- all of them!-- you haven't earned your right to host an au pair instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman with approximately 10 direct reports who are men and all of them that are fathers have discussed their childcare arrangements with me.

LOL, I manage 15 people and the only ones that run around moaning about their childcare issues are women. Not a single man lets this enter in conversation, nor lets it get in the way.

I wouldn't say "Hey Jim, you told me you have an Aupair watching your kids, since you have that AUPair, I'd like you to join us for a partner dinner Tuesday night. Cindy says she cannot make it because she takes her kids to Kindercare". Weird.

But there is a huge difference between discussing and moaning. I can tell you all about my employee's child care arrangements, as well as my boss's childcare arrangements, a mix of men and women. Nobody is moaning or saying they can't work but we have conversations and we do discuss child care needs when scheduling things if it is relevant. My office is really family friendly and we all like each other and try to help each other out. Everyone at my office knows I have an au pair, many people have met my two most recent au pairs, and because we have conversations their perceptions of what it means to have an au pair are pretty accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman with approximately 10 direct reports who are men and all of them that are fathers have discussed their childcare arrangements with me.

LOL, I manage 15 people and the only ones that run around moaning about their childcare issues are women. Not a single man lets this enter in conversation, nor lets it get in the way.

I wouldn't say "Hey Jim, you told me you have an Aupair watching your kids, since you have that AUPair, I'd like you to join us for a partner dinner Tuesday night. Cindy says she cannot make it because she takes her kids to Kindercare". Weird.

But there is a huge difference between discussing and moaning. I can tell you all about my employee's child care arrangements, as well as my boss's childcare arrangements, a mix of men and women. Nobody is moaning or saying they can't work but we have conversations and we do discuss child care needs when scheduling things if it is relevant. My office is really family friendly and we all like each other and try to help each other out. Everyone at my office knows I have an au pair, many people have met my two most recent au pairs, and because we have conversations their perceptions of what it means to have an au pair are pretty accurate.

I don't ever hear my female employees moaning about childcare issues. Actually the men require more flexibility for childcare in my experience, but that has less to do with their gender than their individual circumstances (kids in special programs, or medical issues). My workplace has typical hours so the employees have typical arrangements.